To stay fat?

[ImNotHungry]

I’m a touch overweight. Not massively, just in that overweight bracket by a few lbs, but I am still overweight.

I spent most of my life battling anorexia.

I’ve been in recovery for 8 years now, and the last few years I’ve not even been battling old pernicious thoughts. I simply dgaf. I love my life. I love my family. I no longer give two shits about my weight or size or how many calories I’ve eaten on any particular day.

However, I know being overweight is not ideal, any more than being underweight is. The doctor mentioned weight management to me but I’m not continuing to gain- I‘ve stayed at this weight since catching covid about a year ago. It might help my back if I lost a bit (osteopaenia due to the anorexic years causing back issues) and I’d probably look more attractive if I was in the healthy range. Lots of the school gate mums talk about dieting and whatnot.

But I don’t want to?

I spent years limiting what I ate. I enjoy family meals now, I exercise reasonably in ways that are fun, not compulsive, like sports with my kids, walks together in the woods, or morning yoga.

WIBU to make absolutely no effort to change my lifestyle and just stay fat and happy?

Don’t let anyone dictate what you eat or how you live your life. You sound like you’ve done really well and don’t need any pressure or comments from anyone, even doctors at this point.

Eat intuitively and healthy fats and oils are actually great for us (this is what I was told).

I suppose 10 x cream cakes in one sitting has v little nutritional value, so personally I’m trying to nourish myself with a balanced mixture of flavours and textures!

Simple self-care is so undervalued as well, I think and goes with the healthy but happy lifestyle. Face masks, meditation, facials and hair and nails etc.

Just wanted to say your post made me well up - I've been battling an eating disorder for nearly 15 years and it's SO lovely to hear recovery is possible and it doesn't always have to be like this.

Well done to you for putting in the work and beating it. Your continued recovery is much more important than a few lbs and if there's any chance trying to shift them will trigger a relapse, don't even start.

There are no health risks associated with being in the 'overweight' category, only the obese+ categories.

Stay fat and happy and try to ignore the societal obsession with body size.

If you're happy, stay exactly as you are. That must be such a relief and an accomplishment after years of restriction. As PP said a few extra pounds will not lead to significant health problems.

Im surprised the doctor mentioned anything if you are only just a few lbs over.
I also don't think a few lbs over makes you necessarily unhealthy

Don't diet or try to lose those few lbs for anyone other than you and if you're perfectly happy with how you are then I don't see the problem. Happiness is far more important than being a certain weight in my opinion.

Tell your doc firmly that you've had a serious eating disorder and dieting is likely to set you back on track. Helpfully send them a link to Beat.

Other than that, get on with your life. Obviously keep an eye - you don't want to end up stones overweight, but as long as you don't emotionally eat and eat mostly healthy filling foods that won't happen.

We'll done for recovering, that is some achievement.

It depends.WHo decides what is 'overweight'?

If your bmi is over 25, you could take a relaxed approach to weight loss but keep it in mind maybe four days a week. Nothing wrong with losing a lb every two months. I say that only because I know what it is to be hit by a health issue out of the blue, and to desperately want to survive to see my ds to adulthood.

But only you can decide what is right for you. Certainly there is no reason to drive yourself to a bmi of 20.

Thank you so much, all. It’s really nice to be reassured. I started to wonder if I was making excuses- but I’m glad to have so many voices saying otherwise! Especially since it’s Friday… in our house, Friday night is pizza night. DH finishes work early, so he picks up a different selection of toppings to try each week while kids and I make the dough. Honestly- I never thought I could be this happy and relaxed around food, yet here we are :)

You sound in a really healthy ‘place’ and I’m really happy for you.

That sounds so healthy! Well done you. Don't ever disregard what a challenge you've overcome!

What a lovely post to read.
You're obviously in a great place, so well done you!
Have a lovely pizza night tonight 😊

Being a little over is a million times healthier for YOU!! God I'm so glad your "fuck it" gene has switched back on! You know that any sort of restricting will be potentially dangerous for you - your Dr needs EDucating and you definitely should not be thinking about any sort of dieting. Nooooooo! As long as you are mentally good, eating & living normally without the ED behaviours & thoughts you are bloody winning!!! I'm so happy for you actually, brilliant to hear your story!! 💪🫶👏

If you're only a few pounds overweight I doubt you're fat, honestly.

If your doctor mentioned weight management, was it because you told him that you wanted to lose weight, or was it based on his assessment of the health risks associated with the weight that you are now?

It sounds like you're in a much healthier place as you are now than previously so I wouldn't worry too much. I don't think you should call yourself 'fat' if you're only a few pounds overweight - you're probably still slim compared to the majority of people!

I'm really happy for you that you've managed to recover and have a good relationship with food! YANBU to stay exactly as you are.

I've just read "You Are Not a Before Picture" by Alex Light, which talks about myths surrounding weight (such as how the BMI is an arbitrary and inaccurate measure of a healthy weight), and the socialisation of fatphobia. It was really eye opening. I'd recommend it, although TW as she does discuss her own experiences with an ED so only read it if you feel safe to do so.

@FemmeNatal our GP mentions it to anyone overweight as the area has an obesity problem (higher than national average). He did mention it might help my back, which is why I was there in the first place, but it’s only a ‘might’ so I’d rather wait for my MSK referral, tbh.

Read this book. There are no health risks associated with being a couple of pounds over some arbitrary limit. You seem to be in a much happier place so I certainly wouldn't mess with it.
christyharrison.com/book-anti-diet-intuitive-eating-christy-harrison

And even then, a lot of the “risks” aren’t necessarily to do with being “obese” - other factors are routinely not taken into account. (The podcast Maintenance Phase has a ton of useful info on this.)

OP, you sound like you’re in a really good place, and good on you! Considering that we’re constantly bombarded with diet content left right and centre it’s hard to shift away from that mindset. Just because the school mums talk about dieting it doesn’t mean they’re right.

I would much, much rather enjoy food, enjoy activities and spending time with the people I love than miserably spend my entire time worrying about every calorie and trying to make my body smaller.

Stay as you are OP

I honestly mean sensitively but is it possible you may have some recovery to go? I only ask because moderating to a healthy weight (one which minimises your risks of illness) is in your best interest and if you continue as you are as you then perhaps you arent fully recovered and need additional support?

I appreciate that eating disorders arent like drugs or alcohol that you can avoid but as a poor analogy what I'm saying is if you always refused drugs because you were worried they would harm you but now you realise they are essential to moderate pain but you cant help but take too many which pushes you into a different danger zone then you arent necessarily moderating and may have swapped one health issue for another?

I'm genuinely not trying to upset you, but I think it would be wrong for me to comment that if course being a bit overweight is better for you than an eating disorder. But neither are ideal and I hope you can feel supported with making a decision you fully appreciate the risks of rather than ine made from anxiety about going back to a dark place xx

@RealBecca pretty sure it’s much better for you to be “a bit overweight” than to be in the throes of an eating disorder 🙄

The OP’s post says that she’s enjoying family meals, not counting calories, not worrying about what she’s eating. That’s what a normal relationship with food looks like.

You're in the overweight bracket by a few lbs, your weight is stable and you finally enjoy your life. Would be madness to mess with it.

What a load of tosh!

Well done on making a full recovery op. You are completely recovered if you can cotemplate a life where you are a few lbs overweight and you are happy with it.

You sound in a wonderful place, enjoy it and please please don't listen to the ' perfection' pushers. This striving for perfection at the cost of everything else is what underlies so may eating disorders. Food should be a source of nourishment and in its rightful place in the background of your life not at the forefront of your life in a place of constant striving to ' be perfect' and so pushing out everything else that is wonderful in your life.