To stay fat?

[ImNotHungry]

I’m a touch overweight. Not massively, just in that overweight bracket by a few lbs, but I am still overweight.

I spent most of my life battling anorexia.

I’ve been in recovery for 8 years now, and the last few years I’ve not even been battling old pernicious thoughts. I simply dgaf. I love my life. I love my family. I no longer give two shits about my weight or size or how many calories I’ve eaten on any particular day.

However, I know being overweight is not ideal, any more than being underweight is. The doctor mentioned weight management to me but I’m not continuing to gain- I‘ve stayed at this weight since catching covid about a year ago. It might help my back if I lost a bit (osteopaenia due to the anorexic years causing back issues) and I’d probably look more attractive if I was in the healthy range. Lots of the school gate mums talk about dieting and whatnot.

But I don’t want to?

I spent years limiting what I ate. I enjoy family meals now, I exercise reasonably in ways that are fun, not compulsive, like sports with my kids, walks together in the woods, or morning yoga.

WIBU to make absolutely no effort to change my lifestyle and just stay fat and happy?

I get your point truly, and will be discussing in further detail with MSK but at this point for me it’s also a trade off. I can live with a bit of back pain. I can’t live with anorexia- literally. I attempted suicide after DD’s birth because of AN relapse. After that failed (thank God) I continued restricting and almost died anyway. DD doesn’t remember any of this because I’ve been in recovery since she was a baby but I don’t want to risk slipping unless my weight is life-threatening in the other direction!

I’ll probably always be in recovery. I don’t think you’re ever done with ED. But right now I feel no shame over my eating and only affection for my body so I can deal with any minor trade offs.