To stay fat?

[ImNotHungry]

I’m a touch overweight. Not massively, just in that overweight bracket by a few lbs, but I am still overweight.

I spent most of my life battling anorexia.

I’ve been in recovery for 8 years now, and the last few years I’ve not even been battling old pernicious thoughts. I simply dgaf. I love my life. I love my family. I no longer give two shits about my weight or size or how many calories I’ve eaten on any particular day.

However, I know being overweight is not ideal, any more than being underweight is. The doctor mentioned weight management to me but I’m not continuing to gain- I‘ve stayed at this weight since catching covid about a year ago. It might help my back if I lost a bit (osteopaenia due to the anorexic years causing back issues) and I’d probably look more attractive if I was in the healthy range. Lots of the school gate mums talk about dieting and whatnot.

But I don’t want to?

I spent years limiting what I ate. I enjoy family meals now, I exercise reasonably in ways that are fun, not compulsive, like sports with my kids, walks together in the woods, or morning yoga.

WIBU to make absolutely no effort to change my lifestyle and just stay fat and happy?

Except being a bit overweight isn't unhealthy. Everything about this post screams weight-obsessed - something that the OP really doesn't need in her life any more. And neither does society frankly.

Be HEALTHY and happy
Now that would be the best

I'm genuinely not trying to upset you, but I think it would be wrong for me to comment that if course being a bit overweight is better for you than an eating disorder

Being slightly overweight carries no additional statistical risk, unlike having an eating disorder. The information is easily found if you google.

I’m surprised the GP made a deal out of this. I remember my BMI being 26 when I was pregnant with DS and the MW just shrugged it off because being a few pounds overweight really didn’t matter. I think it’s when your BMI hits 30+ you should start worrying, that’s when the health ramifications truly hit.

You sound happy and healthy so crack on.

It's fine.

If you are feeling healthy and maintaining then I’d carry in as you are. I’ve gone up to bmi 26 and was discussing with gp as part of hrt review saying I was trying to lose but finding it hard and his view was it didn’t matter and wouldn’t make difference to my health - bmi 25 to 26 is only a few lb. I’m focusing on making healthy choices when I can and upping exercise.

My understanding is research shows being slightly overweight is better health wise than under weight which you don’t want to risk triggering.

Do whatever makes you happy, it's that simple.

That sounds lovely! Both the homemade pizza night tradition and the fact that you're feeling happy and relaxed around food 😊
I've spent my late teens and early twenties trying to stick to strikt diets before realising that regular exercise and a relaxed, intuitive approach to food worked much better for me.

Yanbu op, of course it is safer for you to remain as you other rather than spiral back down into disordered eating again. Your life sounds great now - don't risk it for the sake of a few pounds!

If you haven't tried it yet, pilates is the best exercise for backs! It strengthens your core muscles and makes such a difference.

I’m recovered from anorexia too and YANBU.

Id rather be slightly overweight than go back to that hell and all the major health problems that come with it.

OP. please take a look at the 'Maintenance Phase' podcast. I have flirted with eating disorders all my life. I've stopped that now.

Basically, everything we have been told about being overweight is wrong - they properly look at the science - and also at the weight loss industry.

You are certainly more healthy as you are then as you were with an eating disorder.

Anorexia can be a killer, so huge well done on your recovery. I would not do anything that might risk that unless absolutely essential, so definitely wait for your referral to discuss your weight. If you are open about you ED history the conclusion may be it is better for your back to be a few pounds overweight than risk spiralling back into the obsessive dieting that caused the problem in the first place.

@nahnothanks it doesnt have to be either overweight or eating disorder though does it. My point is that my opinion is that she should discuss her concerns with her GP and work out what they think is best (be overweight compared to the risks of a diet for someone who has had an eating disorder) rather than lots of medically unqualified mumsnet posts saying "just do what makes you happy!"

Op- I was a restrictive eater (still can't admit to myself that I had anorexia) and an exercised obsessed mess a couple of years ago. I managed to get my shit together enough to be able to have children/be open to the idea of my body changing beyond control but now that I'm here- I never want to go back. My C-section tummy doesn't disgust me (my breasts do but that's another story)- I'm actually in awe of what I put my body through and how it's bounced back and still holding me strong. Fuck society's expectations of what women should look like and enjoy your life- we only have one and it should be the best one ever. Good luck.

@Scianel google doesnt give you someone's full medical history to determine whether someone is just overweight or overweight with other conditions which may be a cause for concern.

All I'm saying is she should speak to her doctor about the risks and benefits to make the right health choice for herm. not mumsnet.

Well done on beating your anorexia so successfully, OP.

I would say that the risk to your health (both physical and mental) from relapsing with anorexia is massively higher than being slightly overweight. I would stay well clear at anything even approaching weight management.

You have done amazing things by overcoming Anorexia. You should be so proud of yourself.
You sound like you're in a beautiful place mentally, and that is worth so much.

I'm fat. Like size 22 fat. I've looked into bariatric surgery and I just think the life I would have afterwards would be so restrictive and sad. Not to mention that I've had three abdominal surgeries already throughout my life, so recovery would be incredibly slow and painful.

I try to move as much as a chronically ill person can, and I eat a lot of fruit and veg. The people that matter love me as I am so I am not going to change.

BMI is not the be all and end all and doesn’t necessarily mean that you are overweight at all - you are just a little over the number that somebody decided many years ago was the highest healthy weight you could be for your height. I wish it would be removed as a tool completely.

Please stay as you are. You are in a very healthy place both emotionally and physically. A few lbs overweight isn’t going to affect your health and it sounds as though you eat intuitively and exercise for fun and wellbeing. That is the best combination for mental health and pretty good for physical health too. Don’t let anybody push you back into disordered eating. You are fine as you are.

@RealBecca why should she have to do anything though?

The markers that deem someone to be overweight (ie BMI) are incredibly flawed. And some studies have shown that those deemed “overweight” have better health outcomes than thin people.

If someone has a good relationship with food, is active, and has no immediate health concerns that can be absolutely linked to their weight (unlike OP’s bad back), why do they need to make any changes? Weighing out food and counting calories to lose half a stone and tick a measly little “normal weight” box? No thanks.

I don’t think you understand the grip of eating disorders. It’s really easy to relapse a long time after recovery after starting a diet or healthy eating plan. A few extra pounds is not going to damage the OP’s health but dieting could fairly easily lead to her sliding back into disordered eating which has significant physical and mental health risks.

@nahnothanks my point is purely that she should discuss the risks/benefits with her doctor not mumsnet. Be cause anyone can say "I'm a doctor" or "I think you should do X".

Let's leave it there.

If you're exercising and eating a balanced, healthy diet then it's fine.

Firstly, it's likely you're not actually "fat". If you're maintaining your weight and eating a balanced diet which you enjoy and exercising for fun- I would say it's likely you're probably the right weight for you.
I am actually so inspired by your post- I want to screenshot it to remind me of where I'm trying to get to!
I also have a history of anorexia. About a year ago I was similar to you. But I decided to "try and lose a few pounds"- harmless right? WRONG!! I spiralled scarily quickly back into anorexic thought patterns etc. and lost too much weight. About a month ago I realised what had happened (i'd kidded myself I was simply being "healthy", which is so easy to do in our toxic diet obsessed culture), and have since been reading Tabitha Farrar and eating unrestricted. It's a painful process and I wish I didn't get myself here again. But I've vowed I will never go on a diet again. Other people may be able to. But it is simply impossible to do so safely if you have a history of a restrictive eating disorder.
Please PLEASE do not go on a diet or anything close. You are living a wonderfully happy life with a great relationship with food. Honestly an inspiration (if that isn't too patronising!). X