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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To wish my husband would take a shower or brush his teeth?

88 replies

babyrocket · 24/06/2022 07:25

My husband's personal hygiene standards are very different to mine. I shower every day and brush my teeth twice a day. He will shower once every two weeks (after I nag him non stop) and brush his teeth about once a week, occasionally more.

He gets annoyed with me for always nagging him to have a shower and brush his teeth. But he smells. I tell him this, not to be mean but to make him aware of a fact: I'm sure if I can smell it, people at his work can too.

He argues that he is a grown man and this is just how he chooses to conduct himself. He says he never showered more than once every two weeks growing up and it always worked for him so I should stop making such a bit deal of it. I argue that keeping up personal hygiene habits is a sign of respect for those around you as well as yourself. Frankly, I just think it's gross. But maybe I shower too much?

AIBU? And I being over bearing by telling a grown adult how often to bathe?

OP posts:
coffeecupsandfairylights · 24/06/2022 07:27

I mean, he's gross but surely you knew that before you married him?

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 24/06/2022 07:27

It doesn’t sound like he’s depressed, just a lazy stinker. Sounds like the kind of thing that might end a marriage. Is he washing in between? What was he like when you met?

spotcheck · 24/06/2022 07:28

How on earth did he manage to be your husband?
If he's always been like this, then you knew what you were getting when you married him.

So, so gross though

FlowerArranger · 24/06/2022 07:28

Why on earth did you decide to live with this disgusting person.
He will not change.
You stay or you leave.
Those are your only realistic choices.

Shinyandnew1 · 24/06/2022 07:30

If he has always been like this-why on earth did you go out with/stay with/decide to marry him, that’s grim!

MrszClaus · 24/06/2022 07:31

Did you arrange your wedding to be timed for the fortnightly shower? 😂

Honestly he just sounds dirty, his reasoning is so not normal. Why did you marry him knowing he was like this?!

BluOcty · 24/06/2022 07:31

Sorry but how can you put up with such a lack of self respect? This would be a total deal breaker for me.

Dozycuntlaters · 24/06/2022 07:31

Jesus that is gross. No way would I be sharing a bed or kissing someone like this. Your DH is a minger.

butterflied · 24/06/2022 07:32

The people at work must hate it when they have to work closely with him. Gross.

How can you stand being intimate with this person? I wouldn't want to. Couldn't live with it on any level.

ComDummings · 24/06/2022 07:33

Yuck 🤮

GreatCrash · 24/06/2022 07:33

Does he expect to kiss you when he hasn't brushed his teeth for a week?! Grim

TibetanTerrah · 24/06/2022 07:33

Surely you must have noticed this before marrying the man, and when dating saw him more often than his once every two weeks shower? How has it got this far!?

fireandpaint · 24/06/2022 07:34

It wouldn't matter too much about the showering if he didn't smell but as he does he needs to do it more. The teeth brushing is terrible, aren't his teeth really bad? He may have always done it but you are his dw so he should adapt and take your concerns onboard.

pollyroo · 24/06/2022 07:38

His poor work colleagues. From experience it's awful having to sit next to the office stink 🤮 He will be the office joke for sure.

How the f* did you marry such a revolting lazy creature? Even worse ... how do you have him in bed? 🤮

Fucking rank. He has zero self respect & clearly doesn't give a toss about anyone else's feelings around him.

Zero sympathy from me op.

You married it.

GreenWheat · 24/06/2022 07:39

If this is genuine, then he has a real problem. Surely his teeth are decaying and his breath stinks? What does he do for work? Not customer facing I assume?

CalistoNoSolo · 24/06/2022 07:40

How on earth did you ever kiss him when you first dated, let alone have sex with him? How did you end up marrying such a revolting specimen?

User79865765 · 24/06/2022 07:40

I don’t shower every day. I have a long bath every other evening. I am not sweaty as a person and I use body lotion over my whole body every night. Plus our en-suite toilet is a Japanese one so I wash down below multiple times a day. I think that’s the limit of grossness (DH who showers multiple times a day tells me I don’t smell).

your dh sounds grim. I’d be really frank and tell him it isn’t acceptable and you don’t want to be near him unless he eases and brushes his teeth daily.

BackToTheTop · 24/06/2022 07:42

That gives me the ick and I don't even know the man 😷

I'm the same as you op, shower once a day, brush my teeth twice a day.

blubberball · 24/06/2022 07:50

My ex was like this. EX. He smelt nice and clean when we first met though, and his teeth were beautiful. Things went down hill as time went on, and ended up being just one of many reasons that I'm happier now that we're apart.

WhiteTeaNoSugar · 24/06/2022 07:51

Ewwwwww

SunnyShiner · 24/06/2022 07:54

That would be a deal breaker for me. I couldn't have married such a grot.

KyaClark · 24/06/2022 07:57

Sure.

Sunnytwobridges · 24/06/2022 07:59

God. How nasty. I couldn’t sleep in the same bed as him.

Eileen101 · 24/06/2022 08:00

Oh grim 🤢 it's awful having to work with someone who constantly smells.
I think I'd struggle to cope being married to someone like that.

LadyEloise1 · 24/06/2022 08:01

TibetanTerrah · 24/06/2022 07:33

Surely you must have noticed this before marrying the man, and when dating saw him more often than his once every two weeks shower? How has it got this far!?

This !!!!

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