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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wonder what is the most awkward baby/toddler group you've been to?

122 replies

IneedsomeSleeppleasenow · 23/06/2022 20:57

Just curious to hear your stories!

When DS was about 8 months we went to a weaning group which sounded fun and as a new mum I thought a good way to meet other local mums.

It was essentially about 7 babies in a circle sat in one of those plastic trays with random bits of food to try ( bit of bread, a few veggies, cheese). Then given some flour with water in a bowl to mix (?)

I just didn't understand what the point of it was, as could have just that at home. I was expecting maybe it was more about sharing tips, some recipe ideas etc.
Biggest waste of £10 ever, but I had to laugh.

OP posts:
CallmeMrsPricklepants · 23/06/2022 21:02

The stay and play one where I quickly realised all the other parents were in a religious cult.

BiscoffSundae · 23/06/2022 21:03

I never went to any I have 4 children but I always heard how super unfriendly they are so never dared to try!

CoffeeAndTV1 · 23/06/2022 21:06

Tumble Tots! The one near us is run by the rudest woman. It's very weird.

I've definitely been to one affiliated with a very happy, clappy church, but it was fine. Most people there weren't part of the church and it just meant we had to do some religious songs at the end of the session.

NoHeavenNoMore · 23/06/2022 21:14

Took my daughter to baby sensory and was all going well. Painted our little ones feet and hands to make some prints. Then the woman next me to started and kept telling me my daughter had got paint on her clothes, OMG SHES GOT PAINT ON HER CLOTHES!! DD was about 8 weeks old and I really didn't give a fuck if she had paint on her clothes but she just kept banging on about it. I never went back

PatchworkElmer · 23/06/2022 21:16

The stay and play at the children’s centre where 3 other mums were clearly used to having it as a private play group and quite literally turned their backs on me and the other newcomer for most of the session. I went home and cried.

Badger1970 · 23/06/2022 21:17

I took my then toddler grandson to a music group when he was around 18 months. I walked in, smiled and tried to chat/make eye contact but it was obviously a very clicky group who all knew each other well. I'm a confident, outgoing person at work and I left that group almost in tears..... 2 hours of being completely ignored was soul destroying.

What pissed me off was that I used to be a playgroup leader, and always went out of my way to make new parents feel welcome as it's horribly intimidating walking into a new group for the first time. Arseholes.

piratehugs · 23/06/2022 21:18

There's a popular baby music group near me, run by a hippy woman, who seems quite chaotic. We tried it once, a few years ago. I can't remember what I found so bad about it now, but I do remember later recounting our experience to another mum and she replied, "Oh yes, I know which one you mean. We went once. She set fire to her jumper."

Clevs · 23/06/2022 21:18

I found the cheap stay & play groups at village halls, churches etc. the most cliquey. There would be groups of mums that were already friends meeting up and newcomers would get ignored.

PerfectPrepPrincess · 23/06/2022 21:35

A yoga based one... not much yoga went on just managing crying babies or preventing them crying 🤣

Rodneytrotterslovechild · 23/06/2022 21:36

I remember getting invited to one with baby no6

id done my fair share with the other 5 and it was ok-a chance to get out of the house and a chat with other adults

anyway,we rocked up and there was about 20 other women there

not one of them spoke to me on the first week,including the woman who invited me,and I forced myself to go back for the second

i noticed that all the girls where called Eve,Sarah or Ruth and the boys where all called Noah,Daniel or Benjamin-my dd wasn’t any of the girl names and I did notice some odd looks but thought they just really liked biblical names

anyway,we’re all sat in this circle,kids holding toys,some mad woman dancing about round the circle clutching her triangle and doing some mad song which didn’t make sense

one of the women turned to me and asked me ‘when in your life did you find god?’
me-‘never,I grew up as a jw but I left at 16’

youd have thought I’d just admitted to finding sex with kids a good idea-they all turned on me,screaming,shouting and throwing toys and anything else they could get their hands on while screaming that I was satan and in my rush to get out I left my dds shoes (which where returned to me later by the lady who had invited me-she threw them at me in the playground)

only I could take my child to some kind of cult baby group-turns out they where well known but I hadn’t got a clue-it was some kind of small organised religious group that had broken away from mainstream religion and set up on their own (this is in the uk)

i gave up after that and she’s grown up with no Ill effects from not going as a child

Original poster
IneedsomeSleeppleasenow · 23/06/2022 21:39

Rodneytrotterslovechild · 23/06/2022 21:36

I remember getting invited to one with baby no6

id done my fair share with the other 5 and it was ok-a chance to get out of the house and a chat with other adults

anyway,we rocked up and there was about 20 other women there

not one of them spoke to me on the first week,including the woman who invited me,and I forced myself to go back for the second

i noticed that all the girls where called Eve,Sarah or Ruth and the boys where all called Noah,Daniel or Benjamin-my dd wasn’t any of the girl names and I did notice some odd looks but thought they just really liked biblical names

anyway,we’re all sat in this circle,kids holding toys,some mad woman dancing about round the circle clutching her triangle and doing some mad song which didn’t make sense

one of the women turned to me and asked me ‘when in your life did you find god?’
me-‘never,I grew up as a jw but I left at 16’

youd have thought I’d just admitted to finding sex with kids a good idea-they all turned on me,screaming,shouting and throwing toys and anything else they could get their hands on while screaming that I was satan and in my rush to get out I left my dds shoes (which where returned to me later by the lady who had invited me-she threw them at me in the playground)

only I could take my child to some kind of cult baby group-turns out they where well known but I hadn’t got a clue-it was some kind of small organised religious group that had broken away from mainstream religion and set up on their own (this is in the uk)

i gave up after that and she’s grown up with no Ill effects from not going as a child

Oh wow 😮you definitely win so far!

OP posts:
Jules912 · 23/06/2022 22:07

Went to one at the local children's centre and almost everyone else there was from a different country. Nothing wrong with that, been to plenty of other groups where it wasn't an issue, but this one they all spoke to each other in their own language and ignored me and the other person who didn't speak their language.

ShirleyPhallus · 23/06/2022 22:12

Bit different but I went to a group hypnobirthing taster session where the woman invited us to practice different birth positions supported by our husbands and then showed them some relaxing strokey massage to do on us. Then she put the lights down low and we all had to practice in front of one another.

Very awkward lying on the floor, straddling a peanut birthing ball while my husband massaged my lower back and I accidentally made eye contact with some boring accountant called Mike I’d only just met.

DavinaRavina · 23/06/2022 22:17

ShirleyPhallus · 23/06/2022 22:12

Bit different but I went to a group hypnobirthing taster session where the woman invited us to practice different birth positions supported by our husbands and then showed them some relaxing strokey massage to do on us. Then she put the lights down low and we all had to practice in front of one another.

Very awkward lying on the floor, straddling a peanut birthing ball while my husband massaged my lower back and I accidentally made eye contact with some boring accountant called Mike I’d only just met.

We did this in NCT! So weird!

My dh made me snort laugh as he came up behind me to do some relaxing strokes, began with the strokes and then said "I am not your husband" in a creepy voice.

rookiemere · 23/06/2022 22:17

I went to a trial session once of a Monkey Music group.

Apparently my 18 month old was very badly behaved as rather than sitting banging the drum he'd been given he wanted to crawl over and pat the brightly coloured large smiling monkey toy. We ended up leaving in shame after 15 mins as the bonkers instructor couldn't grasp that this might be normal toddler behaviour.

OhRiRi · 23/06/2022 22:18

Baby massage. That woman was fucking nuts.

QuiltedHippo · 23/06/2022 22:24

Also baby massage
She'd waffle on about how hard motherhood was while the babies were quiet, then by the time it got to massaging they were crying so you weren't allowed to massage them...

5zeds · 23/06/2022 22:27

I went to one where a new mum with a small baby tried to pick it up when it was crying and go and stand to one side of the room during circle/singing time. The organiser told her to bring the baby back and she tried to explain it was crying to be met with “we can wait” followed by complete silence while the rest of the group waited for her to sit back down. 😱. They were all horrifyingly unkind.

loveisanopensore · 23/06/2022 22:27

I went to one once in a London museum, it was odd and the co ordinator seemed really annoyed my 18 month old moved a tub of chalks.

Most of the local ones were fine. Some play, some songs and home for nap.
Mumsnet can be weirdly negative about them.

Svara · 23/06/2022 22:41

A young mother's group, advertised as being for under 25. I was 22, and as it wasn't just for teenage parents I thought it was a normal baby/toddler group, only I would be able to meet more women my age with children (the average age to have a baby where I lived was much older).

I got there and older women I had only just met wanted to take my baby off me so I could watch a cooking demonstration, with a packet mix! I usually cooked mostly from scratch but if I wanted to cook with a packet mix then I was perfectly able to read the instructions! I know a group like this has its place, but nothing like that was mentioned in the group description.

Womeninblack · 23/06/2022 22:42

I once went to one and when I asked if I could fit my double pram in through the door, I was told to leave my sleeping twins in the corridor alone and take my DD inside. So before I left I told the person in charge I felt this group wasn’t for me and left 🫤

Dolares · 23/06/2022 22:45

I went to a church run toddler group in an attempt to meet other mums in the village i had just moved to. I was the only person there other than the 2 men who ran it. One of them was a retired man who made the tea and toast and the other was a young youth worker who clearly did not think a baby and toddler group should have been part of his role.

They were pleasant enough to chat with but they didn't live in the village and I was hoping for some female company whilst i breastfed a new born baby and entertained my 2 year old.

MontanaMountains · 23/06/2022 22:46

We had moved areas to a semi rural village and I thought it was a good idea to take my 18 month old to the local mums and toddlers in a church hall. I walked in, paid my money, sat down and not a soul spoke to me the whole time. I felt awkward and self conscious anyway and I was really missing my old friends, so it really upset me.

The next week I couldn't face it but the following week I forced myself to go as I was feeling so isolated. There was a woman there with her toddler who hadn't been there the first week. "Hello" she said "You're new", and 24 years later we're still close friends and our DC are good friends too.

I ended up running that group for 3 years and always made a big fuss of newcomers, introducing them to other mums.

goldfinchonthelawn · 23/06/2022 22:48

DavinaRavina · 23/06/2022 22:17

We did this in NCT! So weird!

My dh made me snort laugh as he came up behind me to do some relaxing strokes, began with the strokes and then said "I am not your husband" in a creepy voice.

Show quote history

LOL @DavinaRavina - I love his sense of humour

Aroundtheworldin80moves · 23/06/2022 22:49

Being ignored by some people as they didn't like my husbands job.

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