To wonder what is the most awkward baby/toddler group you've been to?

[IneedsomeSleeppleasenow]

Just curious to hear your stories!

When DS was about 8 months we went to a weaning group which sounded fun and as a new mum I thought a good way to meet other local mums.

It was essentially about 7 babies in a circle sat in one of those plastic trays with random bits of food to try ( bit of bread, a few veggies, cheese). Then given some flour with water in a bowl to mix (?)

I just didn't understand what the point of it was, as could have just that at home. I was expecting maybe it was more about sharing tips, some recipe ideas etc.
Biggest waste of £10 ever, but I had to laugh.

I went to one when I was pregnant, because I was staying with my sister and had nothing to do while she was at work and it said it was for expectant mothers.
I was very young and not very practiced with babies and thought it would be a good way to meet other people, maybe learn some stuff about looking after a newborn or giving birth- the ad was not very descriptive.

I turned up and got told to sit on a cushion in a circle, with 10 pregnant women who sort of stared at me in this really hot room. Everyone was given a hand puppet, mine was a knock off elmo.

It turned out to be a class where you channel the spirit of your unborn baby into the hand puppet so you could reassure it that you were going to take good care of it, and the baby could talk to you through the hand puppet.

The women were all talking to their puppetsvery seriously and i felt awkward so told my budget elmo that I had bought it a pushchair and some clothes.

Then a woman to one side of me closed her eyes and started talking as the puppet (a badger) in a weird high pitched voice saying stuff like " thank you mummy, I'm so excited to meet you"
Excused myself to the bathroom and didn't go back. Found it very funny later but at the time I was so freaked out by all these sensible looking women talking very earnestly to puppets

I looked at it just like dating. A numbers game where you 'date' lots of other mums until you click with a few who share your general and parenting outlook plus hopefully a few non baby-related interests.

Oh God that's brought it all back...

🎶 say hello to the sun, shining down on me...🎶

I got as far as saying hello to the corn and then the baby sensory woman's over enthusiastic gesturing got too much for me and I collapsed in giggles.

No-one else thought it was funny.

DC2 and 3 never got to experience the joy of baby sensory

The first one I went to nobody spoke to me. I am a naturally shy person but I never liked that playgroup anyway. It was in a cold church hall. A lot of the toys were old and the floor was bare floorboards.

So I persevered and found out about two local playgroups. One was in a church that had carpet down and was more comfortable. I had concerns about my daughter's development so it was important she mixed with other children. One of the leader's has a daughter with CP herself and dual schooled with the same special needs school my son and daughter ended up going to.

I'm still friends with the leader's of that playgroup. Often see her daughter out with her carer. Sometimes it's just a matter of finding the right group. It only takes one person to make you feel welcome.

😂😂😂

A pub sounds a slightly awkward place to have a group just from a health and safety perspective...

But also you don't HAVE to do these things. With DS I did NCT, I only stayed in touch with the people I'd have liked if we didn't have kids. With DTwins I go to a group b decays my friend went and I liked her when we were both in our 20s and single, and now my friend comes xsho I've known since we were teenagers in our first jobs. I talk to the women who I've bonded with because none of our kids like circle time!! But the kids would be leveling fine not going to these things

How absurd!

I've often thought that some of the younger mothers I meet are doing better than I am at meal organisation (and activities, going to groups, etc.) and those that aren't better at it than me seem to be playing the same 'winging it' game as me (and most other mothers)... In fairness, I think most people who outwardly seem to have got it together feel as though they're winging it anyway. 🤣

I, like you, would definitely have expected the group to be about bonding over shared experience as young parents... not a patronising "how to" (and a poor one at that, surely they should have been teaching cooking easy meals from scratch rather than using packet mixes)! What a shame, I'm sure the social experience (that was lacking) would have been so much more beneficial.

I tried a couple of baby play groups. Every time it was cliquey and I was ignored, and felt really awkward. I’m usually quite sociable.

I gave up and just kept bringing my baby to playgrounds. I found it a bit easier to strike up a conversation with other parents at playgrounds.

Honestly, don't let it put you off! They're small for such a short amount of time. I didnt go to any groups until my dd was 1, and when I did, I made sure it was a music and dance one where interactions would be limited!

The toddler dance group during Covid when
they were supposed to stay on a tiny matt and parents told off every time little ones went to explore. Then later in the class my then 18 month old was given two sticks (blue and red), but she had not placed red in right hand and blue in left and was asked by the teacher to swap. Just everything about it was awful.

The door was open so when my toddler started walking towards it, I followed her outside and we quickly jumped in the car not explaining anything. I felt so relieved.

It’s interesting that so many people didn’t like these classes because no one else spoke to them. To my mind, these classes are primarily to get me and the baby out of the house rather than making new friends. Often I’d arrange to meet another friend (from NCT / a local friend with a baby) there so we would sit together and not really attempt to speak to other people.

People’s expectations must be different and I think it depends on the class as to whether it’s really meant to be a socialisation thing for the parents or just an hour to get you out of the house.

Most children with communication difficulties use makaton, not BSL so it would’ve been nice if your child could’ve used it to communicate with other children who couldn’t speak. My son didn’t speak til he was 4 and my DD knowing makaton meant they could still communicate and he could still join in with things.
Not everything is just to benefit your own child.

I signed up for a Term of mum and baby Pilates as my friend was running it and I wanted to be supportive. My dd was a very screamy baby (silent reflux) so it was never a good idea. I spent all sessions mainly just outside the door with screaming baby. One time she did a poo and thought it was a good idea to quickly change her in the room (others did). No, I somehow got covered in her shit. Screaming commenced.

A baby/toddler signing one called sing and sign. All the babies/toddlers expected to sit quietly in a circle whilst the class leader sang random songs that no one knew and used sign language. It was very weird.

another local one that I’ve been to in the village hall is incredibly clicky. No one speaks or even looks at you. 3 rather large ladies park themselves in the baby area and have a good 2 hour chat despite their little ones running a mock somewhere else. No one else can use the baby area then as these women take up all the room despite their being chairs all around the edges.

I went to one where I was totally ignored, the organiser spoke to me at the start then was busy doing coffee etc. I was 19 and lonely, I didn't go to another group until friend had DC about a year later

There not their!

My NCT group. 5 of us. The other 4 clearly knew each other really well and seemed to be very knowledgeable about birth. We had to draw a picture of what we thought we'd be like in labour. In all of their pictures they were smiling and calm. I drew myself as a 'wtf is happening' mess. I found out later they were all midwives and all worked together. I really should have pushed for a refund.

Baby Sensory. They were more interested in trying to sell you other shit and the other mums were more interested in talking to each other, two of them were squashed next to me in a space made for one because they apparently couldn't be separated, and one of them desperately needed to change their baby's nappy, but didn't.

Did two sessions for the benefit of the doubt, then never again.

I went to a local village one where the organiser and one of the families were obviously a family or at least really close and the mum of a younger one had an older son who must have been about 5 or something and he would come and take toys off the babies/ toddlers and ride around on a balance bike or car so fast. I was so worried he would ride into one of the babies but they never said anything so we didn't go back after the 2 times we went. They weren't friendly or welcoming either. Also any mums who went we're already friends so didn't really let you in. I heard others say the same later on at another group. Rubbish!

I took my niece to a baby group a few weeks ago.

I got told off for talking while the leader was singing a religious version of Old McDonald.

I am going again today but only because there was free tea and cake. Let's hope I don't disgrace myself again...

Just remembered another I went to with ds2 when he was one. We were making an Xmas cake and he was just crying and throwing himself about.

I took him into a toilet cubicle for 15mins and just cried. Everyone else was sharing a lovely moment with their toddler.

He was diagnosed with a disability a year later and I was happy to never attempt a baby group with him ever again.

Baby massage.

The instructor kept banging on about getting babies permission before massaging them. I sort of understood her point but she kept banging on about it. The babies were tiny and obviously didn't give a shit.
And she did a werid voice with it,

'hello little baby can i give you a nice relaxing massage? Wouldn't that be nice? Am i ok to relax you? That's a good baby waby'.

Went to a One o clock club while I was living temporarily with a relative and wanted to keep up my child's social life. We went every weekday for about a month. None of the other parents said a word to me the whole time, except for one parent who was similarly ignored and that was just to rant at me about how rude and unwelcoming the other parents were. It was in a very poor area, my child was the only one not kitted out in labelled clothes with a designer pram. And the casual violence to the kids was horrible - one mum knocked her daughter(about one, only just able to walk) right off her feet for taking a dolls pushchair off another child. Nice facilities,awful people.

I assume this is to me. I'm aware that Makaton can be useful. But learning "I have a little turtle" and "twinkle twinkle little star" isn't going to help much with communication. I think it was more Sing and Sing like a PP mentioned than actually learning words.

He learned more from watching Mr Tumble. And I taught him BSL as that's what my family use.

'Baby & toddler groups' <shudders>

My DD is 21 now but I remember taking her to several different ones with varying degrees of success. 'Tumble Tots' was a nice one, I remember one in a draughty church hall where we'd go every Friday and pay £1 to be ignored for two hours 😆

The funniest experience though (not at the time) was when I took her to start ballet lessons when she was about 3. I was at least two stones overweight at the time, I'd got her kitted out in a cute little leotard, wrapover ballet cardi, little shoes and I thought she'd love it.
She loathed it 😂
She clung onto the wall and would only budge when I joined in the dancing with her ... the other parents sat and watched as heffalump me ran and leapt about with my DD. It still makes me cringe. Needless to say, we never went back 😁