To wonder what is the most awkward baby/toddler group you've been to?

[IneedsomeSleeppleasenow]

Just curious to hear your stories!

When DS was about 8 months we went to a weaning group which sounded fun and as a new mum I thought a good way to meet other local mums.

It was essentially about 7 babies in a circle sat in one of those plastic trays with random bits of food to try ( bit of bread, a few veggies, cheese). Then given some flour with water in a bowl to mix (?)

I just didn't understand what the point of it was, as could have just that at home. I was expecting maybe it was more about sharing tips, some recipe ideas etc.
Biggest waste of £10 ever, but I had to laugh.

@Chooksnroses and so he should have been

@Chooksnroses oh god how mortifying for your friend! Is he a dick in every other aspect of his life? Thank god they threw him out!

in fairness they vary a lot! I have horror stories but also some were super supportive and lovely to go to.

So many!
Firstly DD has autism so spent most of the time in the toilets when there was singing, clapping, crying, laughing, loud toys etc.

One where I went and no one spoke to me. Like similar replies think they regulars seemed to like it as their own private play room. Also not sure if just because it's the West Country but I think they were all married and/or related.

One where I made it awkward by having a complete brain block so could only think of one newspaper article I read that morning to make conversation about. It was about a Swedish woman who studied homosexual, necrophiliac behaviour in mallards. I just remember saying 'ducks, who'd have thought it?' And immediately regretting everything I'd said. Why?!?

One in the hippiest part of Bristol during baby yoga when I whipped out a Tommee Tippee bottle of formula. I swear there was an audible gasp from the other mums. The whole time my daughter screeched and rolled over I could see them thinking 'ah well not breastfed you see!'

The group must have attracted the women who were happy with the format. After the cooking demonstration, the socialising took place outside over cigarettes while the older volunteers looked after the babies. As a non smoker who wanted to socialise with other mothers with my baby, I didn't go back!

I actually found them mostly fine. Did a free one in a church which was great. Took me a few weeks to really make friends but it was really welcoming. I also found Gymboree a great place to meet and make friends and a few others at the children centres. I think it must be pot luck depending on where you live. With number 2 it was tougher due to the fact we had moved and Covid hit but fine once we were there.

Baby massage over lockdown over Zoom was hideous. I was the only parent who joined the Zoom and three staff members watched on as I tried to massage my baby who was behaving like I was trying to murder him.

All the ones I have been to have been lovely, the breastfeeding one was weird for me, mums of breastfed 3 year olds horrified and discussing how other people told them "maybe it's time to stop if you want to sleep".

The lengths they went to overcome "booby strikes" made me genuinely ask if they were all first time mums... I can't remember the answer cos I stopped breastfeeding (not willingly) a couple of weeks after.

Yes, it was typical of him...

I had this, a lot of the ladies were from Eritrea and had a hell of a time getting here.

granted they did try to speak to me, but I soon realised they wanted the comfort of speaking their own language and a bit of ‘home’. I said if they wanted to chat to practice their English I was happy to oblige, but not to feel like they had to. I was happy playing with the babies.

they used to bring me sweets to show that I was included in the group. Very generous of them as they had little.

Informal post-natal group where one of the women was the wife of the local GP.

She had no medical training (I did) but because she was 'the doctor's wife' every single word she said was taken as gospel. No matter how rubbish or crazy.

I survived 3 weeks.

I went to one where you had to go round the circle at the start of every class saying your name, their name and some news from the week. Given that your on maternity leave (at this point mid pandemic), you really aren’t going to have any exciting news every single week. People used to make up major milestones like ‘she said Mum’, ‘she walked’ and I’d just be driving there dreading it, desperately wracking my brains for something to say 🤷🏼‍♀️ It put me off going back after I finished the block

Lol at this 😂😂

OMG @neverbeenskiing I would have burst out laughing 😂

Ohh this is easy. A council run stay and play/sing thing where me and my son were the only people there apart from the play worker. There was a few scraggly toys and a dirty childrens mat. I only went so I could speak to other people my son was too tiny to get any enjoyment.

Baby massage when ds was a small baby. He took a huge dump mid session (because you know small babies tend to poop a lot especially when they’re relaxed!) and the woman running the session started wailing and wringing her hands and behaving like it was the worst thing in the world. It was incredibly ridiculous. I was dumbfounded.

She acted like he’d poop in her face and I was throwing his nappy around. I was not for the record, I was trying to clean him up tidily and quickly and would’ve achieved it had she chosen not to stop the entire session to complain about him filling his nappy.

When she asked us not to come back the following week because I’d ruined the ambiance I burst out laughing and told her she was nuts.

Been to loads and loads of different groups. Enjoyed them way more with my second child when I worked out that I should just go to be out the house and see my baby enjoy himself. I put too much pressure on myself to meet other people and be friendly with my first.

This time around I've turned up to everything, had a laugh at my son's reactions, been glad to be out the house and pass time til a nap, and said whatever I felt like to whoever without giving two shits what people thought of my child or parenting.

I've been to baby sensory and thought the songs were ridiculous and signed along all wrong too. Didn't even bother watching the YouTube videos 😂 just waved my hands around trying to keep up.

Exercise class where you could bring your child. So I brought mine who was about 20 months. Only all the other children were babies who would lie happily on the mat and babble.
The hall had a high stage with easy access and two wide open doors leading straight in to the car park. Obviously my toddler ignored all the snacks and toys I had brought and spent the entire time sprinting sprinting between the open doors and screaming blue murder at not being allowed on the stage.
Asked if we could at least shut one door, was told no because of covid.
The leader suggested I could bring my own playpen for next time.

I was struggling with having given up work which I loved and really feeling at see in terms of my new identity as a mother and suburban life in general. I was at a church-run group for new mums (children up to 16 months) so not really a playgroup and the women were all getting to know each other -chatting and relaxing for an hour or so. The rather opinionated leader, who was very 'mothers should stay at home with their children' and part of the rather happy-clappy church, said as we were leaving 'Some of these women need to realise that we don't want to know about their jobs etc - it's FAMILY LIFE they're into now!' She said this in a very sneering tone.

Yes, we knew it was - but the adjustment was sometimes hard and being able to talk as an adult to other adults with similar experience pre-baby was a lifeline for some of us...a connection with our previous identity. But apparently this made us bad parents, and I left feeling really scolded and deflated after having actually had a good time.

DD and I went to a music group for a couple of terms before lockdown. At one of the last sessions a slightly older toddler pushed her into a wall making her mouth bleed. The mum was distraught but DD is my 3rd so I understood, these things happen.
Unfortunately that fall chipped one of DD's front teeth, we could only tell as it slowly grew. So we have a lasting reminder until she's 6 or so.
She also has an extra tooth in the same spot which may be a coincidence

I went to a baby massage class when my baby was around 5 months old (he was prem so quite small at this point) I was just expecting massage techniques but we had to stand in a circle and sing whilst the woman had a bubble machine blowing on us… very awkward. Then the mum next to me was really rude about me not breast feeding- like this was something to do with him being small. I never went back and will not go to any with any new babies I have.

I went to one for when you're pregnant in quite a posh area, and felt very out of place. I was a bus driver, and the baby's dad worked in a warehouse. But we were surrounded by posh professional people. They were nice enough, but I just felt a bit out of place. We then met up with our newborns and placed them on the floor in a circle for a photograph. My ds was wriggling around as babies do, and inadvertently put his hand up the newborn baby girl's skirt next to him. The dad was going crazy, but I was just thinking They're newborn babies. No big deal.

Then a dad asked me Have you dropped yours yet? We've all dropped ours.

I didn't go back.