How to deal with rude student?

[Teacher7676]

I chose to teach adults as I struggle with behaviour management of children, and now I just have small classes and very few issues.
I teach English as a foreign language and have one young woman (around early 20s) who is just quite rude.
Luckily I have only taught her once, but may have to teach her again in the future and plus it's a very small school.
In the lesson I had her she was whispering to another student (a male student she was flirting with). I think whispering is incredibly rude, and I'm pretty sure it was something about me.
They were also not listening to what I was saying.
She seems quite arrogant. I told her a rule in English, something about using the definite article, and she replied, "Sorry but you're incorrect." Even though I'm the native speaker.
When you walk past she doesn't smile or say hi, just has a look on her face as if she's better than you.
The male student she had been flirting with was in my class, he came into my lesson late and she walked past and let out a massive snigger, and he said "Why are you laughing?"
Just get a rude and bitchy vibe from her, but I don't feel in a position to "tell off" adults.
Nobody else is rude like that, we have some who are lazy and turn up 1 hour late etc. But they aren't sly.
Just feel uncomfortable about her and dreading having to teach her again, what would you do?

Yep agree just wait till you have silence.

Recognising that some students are bitchy Mean Girls is misogynistic?

Fucking hell...it gets funnier and funnier.

I can't abide arrogant people who are full of shit and unsupportive to someone who has asked for advice in good faith. If that's 'belittling' in your eyes, fine with me.

Recognising that some students are bitchy Mean Girls is misogynistic

it's mn, we can throw everything at men but if a woman is labelled a bitch it's extreme misogyny remember and no mner would ever use such a word in real life x

Have you posted before about supply teaching/cover supervising and issues with colleagues?

Tbh it doesn't matter. They're fellow adults and you don't expect 'discipline' and that kind of dynamic in that setting. Whispering you can ask to be stopped and if it distracts the rest of the class taken further.

I think any woman who doesn't think it's rude to smirk, sneer, whisper and giggle, and undermine a teacher is probably a bitchy Mean Girl herself. It's nasty school bully type behaviour that some women unfortunately never grow out of. Maybe those of us who were often on the receiving end of it are more sensitive to it.

Point is, OP hasn't done anything wrong. Some people are just not nice, full stop. Hopefully the girl won't be sticking around too much longer in her classes.

It’s because you wouldn’t say ‘bitch’ about a man. It’s misogyny because it’s only ever aimed at women.

Whenever she’s being disruptive, just stop speaking and half-smile expectantly at her until she stops. You can always whip out the ‘I’m sorry, I thought you had something to say to the class’ if she is an arse. It’ll highlight that she’s disrupting everyone else if nothing else. If she’s still an arse, then you’re going to have to go full teacher on her.

What issues do you have with behaviour management? Do you not feel comfortable having to take control of people?

You are the authority figure in your class. Either speak to them privately or address her at the time in front of the class.
Maybe you’re in the wrong job if you are willing to let someone ruin others learning because you want to avoid conflict.

It’s because you wouldn’t say ‘bitch’ about a man. It’s misogyny because it’s only ever aimed at women

yea but mn is full of 'bastard' labels towards men and you or nobody would ever say it's misandry even though it's a term only ever aimed at men.

Same people who appear to have a dislike of the word 'cunt' have no issue with the term 'dickhead'; both are derogatory and vulgar words towards the genitals so why should 1 be more unacceptable?

Thats because misandry doesn’t exist in any real sense.

Thats because misandry doesn’t exist in any real sense

have you read the threads on mn?

Yes. Can you give me any examples of misandry in a real-life context? Like, in the same way misogyny leads to rape and women being murdered?

I have taught adults for many years, and I have learnt that the best way to 'manage' behaviour is to focus only on those elements of behaviour that need 'managing'.

In this case, it is only the whispering when you are talking, and then, this only needs addressing if it is distracting others from their work.

The challenge about the definite article would be an ideal teaching and learning opportunity. For example, 'Yes Marie, you are absolutely correct we do sometimes use the definite article before a proper name, but this is done to make clear that person or thing is something exceptional e.g. 'It's The Boris Johnson (an no other)' and so on, and sometimes adding the article before a name can dehumanise a person and be an insult [...]'

I would then congratulate Marie on bring to attention the importance of context, and exceptions to the rule.

Whispering can be managed discreetly either with an address to the whole class about the importance of listening to the input, or by a smile and a hand signal.

If the student really is problematic or if there is a clash of personalities (and these happen for no reason at all), just remain professional and fair and think that in a few weeks, you may never see that student again.

I’m surprised nobody has mentioned the fact that the difficult student is not making the most of her fee! Perhaps this could be pointed out to her - or if it has been paid by her employer (quite common for au pairs, for instance) perhaps they should be told that she doesn’t appear to be applying herself fully.

Exactly.

Misogyny leads to systemic discrimination against women, widespread sexual assault and murder.

Misandry is women who have had enough of men's shit saying mean thingz and hurting their feelz.

Yes, totally the same.

The vast majority of shitty students like this are being funded by their parents. She wouldn't be acting like such a spoiled madam if she'd spent a year working in a factory to fund the course.

You're taking it too personally OP. Who knows why she's acting up, but it's up to you to set the ground rules for the class. When teaching adults teachers often have to ask students to put away phones or stop talking. Happens all the time.

You can do it all in a cheerful, straightforward way, assuming positive intent from everyone.

Example: Whispering. Stop talking and look over at them. "Everything okay? It's okay if you've got a question, go ahead. No? Right, please stop whispering in class then, makes it hard to focus."

If they keep whispering: "If you need to discuss something, you could leave the class for a bit. Please don't whisper while we're working".

Re: "correcting" you in class. I'm a law tutor and this happens all the time. This is a learning moment! Eagerly ask her to explain how she thinks it should be. And then take it from there: "That's a really good observation but actually a common misconception. It's actually xyz but often students get confused around this point because x. Thanks for bringing it up!"

In other words, stay positive and direct.

I mean, you're the teacher. You're automatically in a position of respect.

I mean, you're the teacher. You're automatically in a position of respect

in an ideal world yes but by today's standards the students can treat you like shit and tell you 'respect is earned'.

I recall being in a lecture back at uni and there were a group of mature student girls in front of me. They were all hard working and sensible lot and 1 of the group,a very quiet sensible type, whispered to the girl beside her. It was about the topic at hand so not idle gossip, she said something like ''the topic is on page 19''.

The lecturer seemed infuriated during the lecture for some other reasons, he seemed stressed. Anyway he flipped at the poor girl and it was really embarrassing for her.

*Misogyny leads to systemic discrimination against women, widespread sexual assault and murder.

Misandry is women who have had enough of men's shit saying mean thingz and hurting their feelz.

Yes, totally the same*

You do know that the majority of people assaulted and murdered are men.

Who is killing those men?

Who is killing those men

men ofcourse but does that make it misandry when men are being killed?

No. That’s male aggression. Can you think of any ways misandry affects society? Any at all?

I'm an academic in a university and see all sorts of behaviour in class. My rule is "get out of the class if you want to talk, finish your conversation and come back". I say these exact words to students who talk in class. Or stop teaching and remain silent till the whispers stop.

Turning up one hour late is not permissible. Students will not be admitted and lose attendance.

Just because you are the native speaker does not make you right always. Many other countries have a better standard of English education than the UK, and good students from these countries have a better knowledge of English, especially written English, grammar, punctuation, etc. compared to native English speakers. Maybe you were incorrect in this particular instance and the student was right.

I think you are assuming a lot without much foundation. Whispering in class is wrong, but why are you sure that it was about you?

Are you new to teaching? You sound a bit insecure and lacking in confidence. There is nothing to worry. Be stern, show that you are in control, show that you are the master of the classroom.