How to deal with rude student?

[Teacher7676]

I chose to teach adults as I struggle with behaviour management of children, and now I just have small classes and very few issues.
I teach English as a foreign language and have one young woman (around early 20s) who is just quite rude.
Luckily I have only taught her once, but may have to teach her again in the future and plus it's a very small school.
In the lesson I had her she was whispering to another student (a male student she was flirting with). I think whispering is incredibly rude, and I'm pretty sure it was something about me.
They were also not listening to what I was saying.
She seems quite arrogant. I told her a rule in English, something about using the definite article, and she replied, "Sorry but you're incorrect." Even though I'm the native speaker.
When you walk past she doesn't smile or say hi, just has a look on her face as if she's better than you.
The male student she had been flirting with was in my class, he came into my lesson late and she walked past and let out a massive snigger, and he said "Why are you laughing?"
Just get a rude and bitchy vibe from her, but I don't feel in a position to "tell off" adults.
Nobody else is rude like that, we have some who are lazy and turn up 1 hour late etc. But they aren't sly.
Just feel uncomfortable about her and dreading having to teach her again, what would you do?

I have zero teaching experience, but in a business setting if someone acted like this I'd ask to talk to her and him individually and ask them what the issue is. Point out that their flirting in class and their behaviour can make others feel uncomfortable so you have no problem with what goes on outside class but in class please can they be attentive on what you're teaching and not chat or flirt with each other. Probably they are both quite immature and she has the hots for him and thinks it makes her look cool/clever/whatever.

What was her mistake though, about the definite article?

Presumably she’s in your class because she’s not a fluent speaker. I’m much more direct when using my limited French, than in my native English.

In my native tongue I’d likely construct, “could I ask about that, because I think I was told something different” and twist myself in knots to be “polite” and not challenging.

With less fluency I might say, “but that is wrong.”

You said it was your first lesson with the student.
I didn't say it was her, or your first "ever" lesson.

Of course you can tell her to stop talking during the class. It's not about telling her off like a child, it's about setting some ground rules so that everyone can focus on the lesson without being distracted by others.

In something like a workplace training session, or a seminar at university or something like that, if everyone was listening and concentrating and someone started whispering at length and giggling with another student, the trainer/tutor would absolutely say something - even if it was just 'Just so we can all focus on what we're learning, can I just remind everyone to please not talk or whisper during the class? It can be distracting for others. There will be time for questions and discussion at the end so if you can wait until then, that would be great.'

Was chatting to a colleague the other day - we both teach adults. She teaches English as a foreign language. She was explaining it isn't just the words, grammar etc, it's the whole cultural differences that impede communication. For example, being on time, if a lesson starts at 9am you have to be there at 9am. Some cultures just don't share the same concept of time as we do.

Anyway here's some tips

Tapping a pen on a mug brings everyone's attention forward

challenging my knowledge base - ask them their version and involve others to explain if it's wrong. It's a whole class learning opportunity

There's always one student who can bring you down; I have one at the moment - charming lady but doesn't listen to a word I say so keeps making lots of mistakes. So I just give her one thing to do at a time, and get her to repeat back what's she's meant to be doing. It's slow progress and hard work. Have had others who've challenged me quite aggressively: I have had a quiet word with and upfront offered to arrange a transfer to another class. That does take the wind out of their sails a bit.

As I'm teaching in a further education college we have to follow DoE guidance on adhering to 'British Cultural values' - something of a tick box exercise but it does give you the opportunity at the beginning of a course to spell out ground rules - no phones, turn up on time, being respectful, etc etc. The French can have a very abrupt approach to correcting people - so I wouldn't automatically think it's rude, just as Class opportunity to point out cultural differences.

Don't let her needle you - difficult I know. Find a colleague you can offload to!

I would log her behaviour with your head of faculty, and try stopping still and silent every single time she interrupts or distracts another student. You (neutrally faced) look at her til she's looking at you and shuts up. Then continue. Every time. If she doesn't get the hint, you can address the class and ask if all can please stop talking and listen (even if it's just her talking). If that doesn't work either, then 'studentname, could you please stop talking and pay attention because you're making things harder for everyone else'.

No joy, then escalate with faculty head.

I absolutely hate people like this.

it's just quite rude to say to someone 'Sorry but you're wrong".

But this woman isn't a native English speaker. It might seem rude to you, but that doesn't mean she intended to be rude. If someone is translating in their head from their own language it doesn't always factor in the cultural differences and social language norms of the second language.

My friend is German. Her English is incredibly fluent (she studied English Literature here) and she swaps between the two languages with ease. But occasionally she'll say something in English, but with a German sentence construction/syntax, and it can sound rude. She usually realises immediately and says 'Sorry, that was German-polite. Let me rephrase it to be English-polite.'

I think you should ask not to have her in your class as you seem to really dislike her.
I'm not sure whispering and saying sorry you're wrong about something makes her rude, bitchy, arrogant and sly.

I've taught ESL and had many rude students. Honestly, as adults, I wouldn't expect to have to enforce rules and assuming they're paying for the course or similar, it isn't really your problem to make sure they're learning past age 18 if they're going to hinder their own learning. If the behaviour impacts other students then I'd do the usual, set clear expectations and consequences of the expectations not being met. If after warning the behaviour persists, follow through with consequence. At this age the only one I'd be doing is asking them to leave the lesson.

It's always awkward when you have a moody student. My personal way to deal with students I don't particularly like or those who are rude is to be extra 'nice' to them. They don't know what to do with their poor attitude, or show themselves up.
Be super enthusiastic when speaking to her, give her lots of encouragement as if you have the impression that she lacks confidence.
If you pair up students for an opening activity, she won't be able to buddy with the guy she flirts with if she's late.
Ignore her snide remarks or correct her rudeness with something thing like "It's more polite to say 'I think you are mistaken'"
If you're super positive, negative people usually take themselves away.

Then you can choose to stick to the rules. Tell them you’ll no longer be accepting late arrivals.

I don’t let people in late to my lessons. You only need to turn someone away once and it stops being an issue.

I absolutely will if needed tell adult learners off if needed. I wont tolerate rudeness, bullying, etc. I won’t tolerate talking or whispering in class. If someone is whispering I’ll be quite insistent that they must have something to do with the lesson they want to share with the class The sniggering I’d probably ignore unless overly disruptive. Her not acknowledging you I’d also ignore.

I know I sound like a battle axe but I’ve actually got a reputation for being laid back. I think on the whole my students respect me but they know I won’t let them take the piss

Sometimes non-native speakers can sound rude because they're relying on fact and possibly losing nuance.

Saying 'Sorry but you're wrong' is just stating (what she thought was) a fact. She might not be aware of any other way to phrase it. In fact, she's even apologised about mentioning it!

You TEFL. You must realise that.

What exactly did you say about the definite article?

Deal with this behaviour the same way you would if you were chairing a meet of adults and someone was interrupting you. There are professional ways of dealing with this, but don't let it continue.

Kill her with kindness. And if she challenges you, don't just say 'you're wrong' - ask her to explain. Maybe you are wrong, or maybe you haven't explained yourself clearly. You'll probably find it's useful to have the discussion about why you're right or wrong.

Apart from that, honestly, I'd just ignore it. She'll only escalate if you react to it. If you smile and engage with her as though she's being genuine, she'll soon give up.

I'm guessing you're fairly new to teaching? As you gain more experience, you'll develop your own ways of dealing with difficult students. The key is not to take it personally - it's not personal, she doesn't know the first thing about you.

How much experience do you have? Dealing with whispering is very very basic - it happens with all age ranges, and I'm surprised any teacher needs to ask how to handle it. The same applies for the taking exception to perceived "rudeness" - cultural differences and language barriers making certain phrases appear rude are normal and expected. They're there to learn.

Is this your first class?

(Background - former English teacher in FE, teaching GCSE and Functional Skills to16+ and ESOL for adults, now training teachers including Behaviour Management, L3 Award in Education and Training, Cert Ed and PGCE).

Sometimes it will hard to deal rude students, We should keep patience and calm mindset. Surely they will change their attitude.

I mean this as kindly as I can... but if you struggled with kids, and you're clearly struggling with adults as well... is teaching the best choice for you?

For what it's worth, I'm a primary school teacher, and I know how damn hard it is. Behaviour management is an art form, for sure. Some people are just naturally good at it, some have to work bloody hard to be reasonable at it (I fall into this camp!), and some just can't do it, however hard they try.

When you walk past she doesn't smile or say hi, just has a look on her face as if she's better than you.

How often did you walk past her in that one lesson?

Could she be insecure? I've also taught EFL, and the students I assumed to be moody to begin with, just turned out to be shy and insecure. Some people mask it, and it can come across as arrogance. Not to mention, as PP have said, things that get lost in translation.

I used to teach TEFL and had students like this. There are cunty twats everywhere and you're unfortunate to have one in your class.

She's playing power games with you and trying to embarrass you.

Put her in her place. If she knows more about English than you, why is she in a B2 (or whatever level) class?

It can really unnerve you having someone mean spirited in your class. It can really bring down the entire mood and ruin the vibe to have someone who is actively trying to annoy you and ruin your lesson.

Ignore most of the posters here. They haven't a clue what they're talking about and have never done this job.

It's a small school. OP has only taught her once, but presumably sees her in the corridors as they're both on their way to classes.

Yes, just call me Sherlock.

I'd agree with this, though we all started somewhere. I've been in TEFL/ESL for nearly 30 years now and am DoS at a summer school as well as teaching state school all year round.

One thing I learned early on (for me) Teenagers are a million times easier to teach than adults! I have to do teacher training and CPD sessions with our teachers and that's where I draw the line. Give me 25 teens and not 10 adults any day of the week!

The cultural nuances mentioned upthread are also very very relevant. One of the first things we cover in our induction sessions.

I find the fact that the OP has immediately jumped to conclusions (which may be correct, but are just as likely not to be) about the student a bit odd tbh. The whispering could have been "who is this new teacher?"
"who is this idiot?"
"did you enjoy our rampant sex last night?"
"I've forgotten my coursebook, can I borrow yours?"

Or a million other things.

We DO also make mistakes as English teachers. Maybe the OP did, maybe she didn't. But the complete conviction that the student was wrong and she was right is a tad arrogant. The correct response to any student saying you're wrong, is to ask them to explain why they think that, and if there is any, even the tiniest chance that you are wrong, then you tell the student you'll check and let them know. And you do that.

Except most of us clearly have.

The absolute nonsense people come out with on here is honestly award winning.

It's not OK in France, or anywhere in the entire world, to tell a teacher 'sorry you're wrong'. It's rude, undermining and arrogant.

It's one thing to say 'ah, I was taught something different...can you explain why I was taught X and you're saying Y?' That's a common, normal question students have. It's a genuine question, borne out of confusion. Telling a native, qualified teacher they're wrong is plain rude and unacceptable.

Those two things make her at least those first three adjectives.