Can you change your accent / people’s perception of your background?

[Canicani]

I truly feel my career would be more successful if people thought I was ‘posh’, in a nutshell. And probably if I was a man tbh.

I know I should think f them and I know it shouldn’t matter but essentially, it does - in my industry anyway. I love my job and I have worked so hard and don’t want to do anything else.

I’m not looking to convince people I’m aristocratic but I’d like to blend in more.

Any tips? Please don’t tear me to shreds!

People are more likely to a

@FourTeaFallOut if you’re going to say accept me for myself, I’ve tried that one 😀

...think it a bit odd if you start performing tropes of poshness and tinkering with your accent. Maybe is you switched jobs and started from scratch but, even then, you'd likely be rumbled.

My mum grew up with a Brummie accent but her mum made her take elocution lessons as she (my Gran) was convinced the accent would hinder my mum professionally.

Of course, different in the 50s/60s, but there's no reason why you can't study a more generic accent if you feel your own accent may be a hindrance. Accents are more accepted these days but I do agree that there is still some stigma in some circles, and if you're already battling than perhaps making a change may help?

Sorry, my phone is doing this weird thing with my keyboard and disappearing when I go to hit the space bar and so I hit post instead 🙄

No chance!
Love my Glaswegian accent - has really been useful in lots of situations. I can up the patter when it suits or smooth it down if needs be. Bi lingual 😄

We need more information about who you're trying to fit in with....clothes, accent ?

Thank you both!

I don’t want pretend to be someone I’m not, perhaps just polish myself up a bit to boost my confidence. There’s lots of chat and etiquette I don’t seem to ‘get’!

I think people can sometimes smell out people trying too hard/trying to be something they are not. You sound like a great and successful person, perhaps your energies would be better spent on raising your self-esteem. I do understand that there can be a bias towards people with certain backgrounds or that people gravitate towards people similar to themselves, and that is annoying and difficult. However, I don't think putting on an accent or trying to change yourself to fit in would be effective. Work on your confidence.

@catandcoffee the British public school brigade. In my mind - I had to work twice as hard to get to the same place as them but I just don’t feel accepted.

I suspect you could neutralise your accent to an extent but not acquire a new one. Unless you grow up with it, it’s hard to mimic and others would always be able to see straight through it

As long as you have a clear speaking voice and a good pace, I honestly would not go down the route of trying to change your accent. Think of those with your accent or other regional accents. Wouldn’t you like to see more of this in your industry? It all starts with someone

But OP, regardless of your accent, you are never going to be in the actual ex public school club (which definitely is a thing unfortunately in some places) so why not just work with what you have?
Regarding conversations etc, what do you struggle with? There was a thread a while back about cultural capital, is that what you mean? (radio 4 was a popular suggestion on that thread)

@Cyberworrier maybe cultural capital is it!

books I haven’t read, places I haven’t been, social signifiers I don’t know exist until I’ve got them wrong and the dreaded ‘where did you go to school question’.

my role requires networking etc and I feel somewhat on the backfoot.

Don't aim for assimilation then, you won't be accepted because the bar for entry was set at birth. Aim for intimidating, or remarkable, or ruthless or whatever marker for success sets you out in your industry.

My accent has mellowed over the years but that mainly because I've moved around and now live somewhere different to where I was brought up.
I still sound northern but more generic northern rather than a specific accent. I didn't try but just happened naturally.

That, alongside where I live and the job I does often means people think I'm posh when I actually grew up in one of the most deprived areas of the uk.

My DH was privately educated and has a very strong regional accent.

I think it's difficult to completely change who you are though and I don't think you should have to.

Having read your update it's definitely cultural capital that you're talking about!!

I've been in your position before and it is tricky!

@brookstar did you pick things up or just become more secure?

Both really.

I picked things up as i went along and to be honest I'm still doing that!! Cultural capital can definitely be learned but I think there also needs to be a level of confidence to accept that you are who you are ..... but I get that's hard. I suffered from imposter syndrome something shocking and still have my moments!

Haven't read the replies. I think the most important thing is to be articulate with a broad vocabulary, and to speak clearly using proper grammar. What you say is more important than your accent.

I think diction matters more than accent. Pronounce words properly without dropping letters and you will be taken more seriously. With clothing wearing timeless classics neither too long or short if a skirt in more muted colours again demonstrates a touch of class without over doing it - and never have the brand of clothing obvious, that's tacky!

What accent do you have?

By the way, it really doesn't matter your background, if you come across as confident that is. People at Dp's work and my dp's family all assumed I was public school educated like him, but I'm not, sink London comp! I do have good diction (I sing choral music, it really helps) and I am confident socially. My work all think I'm posh, I'm not at all (nor is dp despite his education)

My accent has muted a lot over the past ten years - generally because people mocked me because of it. It’s all well and good saying represent your area/heritage but when people see it as a joke it’s difficult to start a career

Please talk to me about cultural capital... www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/4541675-please-talk-to-me-about-cultural-capital

This was a recent thread, not sure if it's the one I was thinking of but has some interesting thoughts.

You sound like an intelligent and successful person, so please don't feel inadequate around posher colleagues. Despite their cultural capital, chances are many of them are less intelligent and interesting than you, they just went to a different school and had different experiences. (I say this as someone who knows many dull as dishwater people from privileged backgrounds!)

Also, as someone who sort of floats around people from very varied backgrounds, in my experience many public school types have quite limited knowledge about some issues and can be a little ivory tower, detached from reality. Not to bash public school types, but just to say everyone is human and has areas they are more or less knowledgeable about!

You can certainly neutralise your accent, yes.