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To tell my friend that I’m not keen on her baby name?
252

AllHailKingLouis · 21/06/2022 16:29

Friend told me today she has chosen the name Susan for her baby. I don’t like it personally but automatically said “oh, that’s nice”.

she’s just WhatsApp me asking if I really liked the name as she got the feeling that I didn’t (oops, I’m a shit liar).

would I be unreasonable to admit that I don’t? Or should I carry on lying about it? (Which I can do easier via WhatsApp!)

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Am I being unreasonable?

AIBU

You have one vote. All votes are anonymous.

Aquamarine1029 · 21/06/2022 16:30

"It's not a name that I would choose, but it's not my baby. If you love the name, use it."

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PuffinMcStuffin · 21/06/2022 16:30

Keep your honest opinion to yourself, she won't thank you for it. While I agree it's not a name I love, she clearly does love it.

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SandyWedges · 21/06/2022 16:31

Is the baby here already?

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AllHailKingLouis · 21/06/2022 16:31

No baby is due next month

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Joystir59 · 21/06/2022 16:32

It's a great classic name. Susie, Suze, Sue all cool shortened versions. Every Susan I've ever known has been a fab person!

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DPotter · 21/06/2022 16:34

This is why there should be a 'health warning' on all pregnancy testing kits - "do not discuss or tell anyone other than the father of your child, the name before they are born"

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SamanthaVimes · 21/06/2022 16:34

Don’t tell her you don’t like it, you’ll just upset your friend. Its a fairly “normal” name and not like she’s saddling a child with something really embarrassing.

At worst it’s a bit bland but she could be a Suzy if she ever wants a nickname.

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Lindy2 · 21/06/2022 16:36

You don't tell her you don't like her choice of name. It's not your baby she's naming, it's hers.

You say it's a lovely classic name and you're so excited that you'll all soon be meeting her baby.

That's how a supportive friend behaves.

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Minfilia · 21/06/2022 16:36

She’s asked for your honest opinion, so I’d give it. As diplomatically as possible.

My friend called his children Arthur and Martha… I think I somehow contorted my face into an expression that was acceptable…

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DarkDarkNight · 21/06/2022 16:37

I think seeing as she has asked you could give her your opinion without being too blunt. I would probably duck out of saying I didn’t like it outright but say something like ‘I wouldn’t choose it, but I like Susie’ or ‘Suzanne is a lovely alternative’.

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toastofthetown · 21/06/2022 16:37

Unless there’s an actually reason the name might be harmful to the child (she’s considering Rose but her surname is West) then there no need to tell her you don’t like. Maybe say you were surprised as Susan isn’t such a popular name these days, but as there’s nothing objectively bad with the name Susan, I can’t see how your opinion would be in any way helpful.

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Ncwinc · 21/06/2022 16:37

“I was just surprised. It’s not a name you hear much now.”

Don’t say what you think.

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SandyWedges · 21/06/2022 16:38

AllHailKingLouis · 21/06/2022 16:31

No baby is due next month

In that case you could say something like you didn't want to get overly excited in case they weren't sure yet as there's still a way to go.

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MusicMom83 · 21/06/2022 16:38

Don't lie and say you love it and gush as she obviously knows you well enough to see through that and its not helpful.

Just say its nice though you tend to go for names that are more quirky / classic / whatever. Or just say, its hard for you to get excited about a name until you see how it suits the baby and leave it at that

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JenniferBarkley · 21/06/2022 16:39

Don't tell her the truth, it might not be fashionable but there's nothing actually wrong with it.

"Oh no, not at all! I was just surprised as it's not one you hear often these days. I love that it's not frilly/has nicknames/something bland you can say about it."

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Lou98 · 21/06/2022 16:39

I think the fact she's actually asked you I would tell her but politely.

Don't just go "it's such a horrible name" but there's nothing wrong with saying it's not really your cup of tea.

There's always going to be people who do/don't like your baby name choice, personally I only asked the people who's opinions I cared about if they liked it or not so wanted them to be honest with me. Otherwise I just told people what the name was when they asked and didn't care if they replied that they didn't like it

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Therealpink · 21/06/2022 16:40

I’d just say ‘it’s lovely and classic! I haven’t heard anyone use it in ages. If you like it go for it!’

and if she pushed I would say ‘yes I like it, and you love it so it’s perfect’

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MrJi · 21/06/2022 16:41

Joystir59 · 21/06/2022 16:32

It's a great classic name. Susie, Suze, Sue all cool shortened versions. Every Susan I've ever known has been a fab person!

I agree with this. I like it.

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Squashedraddish · 21/06/2022 16:43

I would say

its unusual which is lovely! I really like the nickname susie too.

or something along those lines. Or just lie and say yes you like it. The name might grow on you when the baby’s here

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picklemewalnuts · 21/06/2022 16:45

"What I think makes no difference, you have to pick a name you love! Why don't you shortlist a couple and see what suits her once she's arrived?"

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namechangetheworld · 21/06/2022 16:47

There's no "polite" way of telling someone you don't like the name they've chosen for their child, and there's absolutely nothing to be gained from you telling her either. She's chosen it for a reason - be a decent friend and tell her it's lovely.

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SleepingStandingUp · 21/06/2022 16:50

I'd go with "it isn't one I'd have picked, but once it's their name, I'll love it for being theirs" or something like that.
My friend knows I wasn't keen on her chosen name, because my face spoke louder than my mouth. But the more I said it to myself and linked it to actual baby inside my best friend, the more I like it. Now I think its great

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namechangetheworld · 21/06/2022 16:50

The name might grow on you when the baby’s here.

Er, it doesn't need to grow on the OP. It's not her baby.

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Mariposa80 · 21/06/2022 16:51

Due a revival I think. My mum is a Susan and it's extremely common in her age group (70s), so I'm expecting lots of little Susan's named after grandparents soon.

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TabithaTittlemouse · 21/06/2022 16:52

Just say that you don’t hear many Susan’s now and that you were surprised.

Don’t lie but don’t be mean.

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