Nephew and birthday present

[Wondog22]

Nephew is turning 6 soon and I recently asked him what he wanted for his birthday and he said he’d love a Nintendo Switch, all his friends have one but then said ‘Mummy and Daddy said we don’t have enough money’
Relayed the conversation back to DH and suggested we buy. DH thinks this is an awful idea and to buy him something else, we usually spend £50-£100 depending on what he want so obviously it’s more money than usual.
DH thinks no for several reasons 1. He thinks it’s undermining DB and DSIL, they’ve said no and we shouldn’t be buying it ‘behind their back’ 2. Thinks we’ll set a precedent with DN that we always buy expensive gifts
I think we should buy it because 1. We can comfortably afford it 2. It’s only money and I want my Nephew to have what he wants, it’s only the money aspect that is stopping me buying it , normally I’d just buy what he wants so why should I let that get in the way.

I did think about messaging DB and asking if we can buy it but DH thinks that’s even worse and I’d be drawing attention to the fact they can’t afford to buy it. My argument is surely they’d be happy that DS was getting what he wants and does it matter who it comes from?

DB is on my side of the family to be clear, so not DH relations (albeit close to them). Also no kids of our own yet so maybe I’m totally out of reality here.

Would you buy the Nintendo?

I just bought my niece who is 14 a Apple Watch 7 today 😂 so I’m not one to judge on expensive presents .

she was admiring mine at Xmas and I said for her birthday if she wanted one I would get one for her - obviously she didn’t say no

I didn’t think to check with my sister and her dad

They are quite happy for me to spoil her for her birthday and Christmas presents and it saves them the expense as well
plus they already knew I was going to get it for her so I’m sure if they didn’t want me to buy such an expensive present they would have said so

Oh god if he’s told you his parents have said no because it’s too expensive and then you buy it, how will it look?

Definitely ask his dad. If they say no then they mean no and it’ll really piss them off that you’ve bought it and yet they’d look bad taking it away from him. He won’t love you more if you buy it for him and especially not worth it at the expense of his parents.

He's six. Six.

There is no way in the world that everyone else has one.

It's not the cost per se, it's the electronic device element that you need to discuss with the parents first.

You won't be there to control the use of the electronic device therefore need to check parents are happy first.

Maybe suggest it's a joint gift of various people maybe family members ect. Because he will need games case accessories. Speak to brother see if he approves.

My sister in law is much better off than us. If she offered to do this for a gift I'd want my kids to have but couldn't afford I'd be over the moon and bite her hand off.

I think you sound really lovely and should just ask his parents if you could get it as a one off.

That was exactly what I was thinking.
If they really can't afford it then it will rub it in if you buy it.
What you could do is give him money with a note that he could save up for one if he wants or choose to buy something now. If your brother says he's saving up then give money the next couple of times and then he'll be able to afford it. He'll also then gave learnt a lesson about saving and get a great sense of achievement being able to buy it for himself.

Be careful if you do buy it, we had this with our kids, family member bought the DS and a game. But we then struggled to afford the memory card it needs to add on more games, and the annual membership (which it will work without but you can’t do all the stuff) and we can’t play multi player as not enough controllers (they’re like £40 a pair!). Basically even if you buy it you are leaving the parents to buy all the add ons which are expensive.

Nintendo switch lite is a handheld version won't take much space and won't need a spare tv.

DSil used to buy the DC expensive and frivolous presents that we would never have stretched to . We never minded and the DC adored her .

My brother is absolutely loaded and it wouldn't offend me at all. Just ask your brother and say you are aware they may not want him to have one due to his age.

I tend to tell DS things like we can't afford it when 1 it's far too much money to spend 2 I really don't want him to have it etc.
I would be furious if a family member bought my DS a switch. He can't handle gaming at the best of times, it's such a parent decision item. Absolutely run it past your DB but I would be surprised if they want that for their 6 year old. Get him Lego

They may well have told him they can't afford it because they don't want him to have one. My cousin did the same and was not impressed when his sister bought her nephew an iPad. As they felt he was too young.