Pissed off with dh

[CakeByTheOceanCocktail]

Ugh small fathers day rant!

Dh is really difficult to do anything celebratory for.

For example, he doesn't want anything for birthdays or Christmas etc. He returns EVERYTHING and just (very sweetly tbf) says spend it on something for yourself, I don't need it.

So now, I only buy him consumables or take him out for a meal or whatever for birthdays and Christmas.

Father's Day on Sunday, I asked him a week ago if he wanted anything in particular. Obviously he said no. So I said would he like to go out for a meal or have a takeaway or shall I cook him something nice. The kids wanted to have a family meal together so we wanted to know what he would like to eat. We also got him wine and fancy chocolates which I know he likes. He refused to answer us. And I don't mean "oh anything will do, it will all be lovely", I mean a rude "not now, I'm not deciding now". Dd (7) even did a little paper questionnaire thing and he wouldn't look at it. He was such a miserable git about it all.

Anyway, I went to the shops and bought him things to make his favourite meal in case he wanted it (fancy steak and peppercorn sauce, including a very bloody expensive organic steak which I don't even eat as don't eat beef). Anyway, misery guts wouldn't tell me what he wanted and the kids ended up eating their tea early as normal and then we put them to bed. Dh said he didn't want any food after that and just plonked himself on the sofa drinking wine (not the wine we'd bought him) and eating crisps.

Annoying, but it was his day so didn't want to stop him doing what he wanted.

I wasn't well last night and had to go to bed early. Dh put the kids to bed, (which he's annoyed about having to do on his own, I can tell). Then he made himself fajitas with an old el paso fajita kit and....the ££££ steak.

A bit irksome to me, but not my business - it was his treat so he was free to vandalise it with shitty old el paso if he wants to.

What has annoyed me is he's only eaten half of it and left it out, still in the pan, all night!

I went and said to him this morning in a jokey way "did you use that lovingly selected organic steak to make fajitas and then leave it out all night" and he said "yyyyyyyyyupppp 😏" all pleased with himself 🤨

He claims he will eat it anyway, but he's just gone to work (I'm wfh today) and the fajita mix is still there on the stove!

I'm pissed off with his rudeness. Aibu?

not really feasible as have to fly and it's ££££

I think this is really sad. You live near where DH grew up, for his job. He won't countenance celebrations and you can't go and hang out with people who would because of money.

All those steaks and presents you don't buy, save up for a flight.

@CakeByTheOceanCocktail did he go to boarding school by any chance?

I actually don't see the issue with him not wanted to celebrate Father's Day, but then I grew up with a dad who never celebrated anything like that, so I have to admit that all the fuss some people make about it seems a bit weird to me.

But that doesn't mean he gets to be rude about it. If your DC have gone to the effort of making a card or wanting to make a meal or a cake, he should be nice and "accept" it for their sakes. Saying that, I would also encourage them to keep it a bit low-key - a nice card and his favourite breakfast would be plenty, I think, or just arrange to go out for brunch as a family.

I did nothing for my dad on Father's Day as whenever I have in the past, he's told me off for wasting my money, lol. However, it's his birthday on Thursday so I've bought him some fancy coffee (he's a bit of a coffee buff) and some posh espresso cups - cost me just over £20 but I know they're things he'll use and appreciate, without all the fuss.

@DrunkAndAlone2 and rude is rude end of
People can loose weight but those ugly inside often can't change

Sorry wrong post

Ha! Yes, maybe I will. I work in a school, so we might do an extended stay in the summer and he can sit here and not be bothered by us 🙄

The thing is, he actually does a lot with the dcs, (though i do more due to my work hours), he's just so joyless about it. I actually wish he'd do less but do it more joyfully when he does.

@n0rks no, not boarding school. Normal / Catholic comp.

Oooooops name change fail! Will ask MN to fix

@n0rks

Eh??!!!