To think we may be too old for kids?

[BedsideTaylor]

Bit of background, I’be just turned 40 and in the past 10 years of TTC, I’ve had 3 MC. Found it it was due to PCOS but I’ve since had cysts removed and at last appointment, things are looking much better and periods are now regular. Gynae said if I still want children, time is obviously not on my side and I would love a child as would my DH but are we too old at 40 & 45? We both act younger than we are according to our colleagues and are healthy. Most of our relatives have lived into their late 80s-90s so hopefully we will too 😂
One of DH’s friend’s wives said we were too old to consider children now and should just forget about it and be selfish and do what we want with no responsibilities (her DD is 19 now so she’s reliving her 20s!).
I’m so conflicted…

That should say that 3 of them were 45.

The truth is it just depends on your biology and fertility. If you're able to conceive and give birth then you're clearly not too old.

You aren’t too old. Lots of new parents in their 40s. Obviously time not on your side but I’d keep trying if you want a child.

Your friend is probably thinking that it will be physically harder on you at this age and that there is more risk of some disorders. She's probably also thinking how much fun it is to have more freedom without a child around that you have to consider all the time.

She isn't wrong, but she's thinking of it from the perspective of someone who already has a child. So she isn't the last word in wisdom on the matter.

I'm 46 and feel way too old for a baby. The difference is I've spent 24 years raising four children! If I hadn't had any and wanted children I would be trying now before menopause kicked in. Go for it.

My mum was 39 when she had me
Back then it was quite unusual to have an older mum and as she's a bit older now it's harder for her to help with my dc but honestly it's not really made any difference to us that she's older

No you are not too old per se. I had mine at 39 and 42 just because we had only just got round to that stage of life and I have a good career that I didn't want to disrupt. It may not work for you but absolutely you must try if you want children. You may well regret it if you don't. I don't even know why anyone would even think early 40s is too old!

@snailpaint

no as I say it’s each to their own

Also I do believe that those who had kids very early will have more than likely have loads of family support especially if they’ve gone on to further education and/or career etc. Not everyone has the privilege of that. So a lots of judgey women who were mums early on dont even have a clue what they’re on about.