Married to DH for 24 years, he is a lazy man, mannerless and thinks the world revolves around him. He argues with me every time something needs to be done, or guests coming over or simply the house needs to be tidied. He expects me to clear up after him, and I refuse to do so, for the past 5 years, I've been standing my ground and don't want to be treated as a door mat. I have put up with his shit for years and enough is enough.
He has tantrums, shouts and uses foul language when he has an issue e.g. with what I've made for dinner after having worked 9 or 10 hours a day.
Both me and teen DS are fed up. This week I have let his behaviour and nasty comments get to me - "your ugly, can't stand to look at you, you're nothing, I'll divorce you ...etc". I'm also finding it difficult to make eye contact with neighbours, I'm embarrassed and feel humiliated each time this happens.
I really can't remember the last time I laughed openly, full heartedly, every day I feel like I'm on a treadmill, going through the motions and surviving. Sometimes I feel like my soul has shattered and feel extreme pain at night or simply feel numb early mornings.
I've made it clear to DH that I'm fed up and very unhappy in life with him. He is extremely dismissive every time I try to talk and blames me for everything.
He has told me to arrange house help, I have refused, as I already pay for a weekly cleaner and what he essentially needs is a nanny for himself who cooks and cleans after him. He is more than capable of arranging this himself as he works no more than 7 to 8 hours a day.
I'm just scared to make a bold move, confused almost feel like I'm in a never ending vicious cycle.
Any advice?