Tell me your life's top tip

[browniesandcakes]

I'll go first....

If you are feeling low, do something for someone else. Not because you have too, but because you can. I promise you will walk away feeling more inspired than you did before! Just be kind in life, it's so rewarding.

Comparison is the thief of joy
Absolutely!

Also…, love them or hate them, your feet will appreciate Birkenstocks

Don't steal from your future self

Never say yes or no to something big, tell people can you think about it.
This stopped my mum going on holidays, that she ended up paying too much on, as she then thought about it first.

@Talipesmum Very good advice about sausages!

Make contingency plans - put lists of key phone numbers on fridge, keep important docs somewhere easy to find, have life insurance which covers your mortgage, make a will etc.

Keep copies of bank details/passports/certificates etc offsite (at a relatives house)

Baz Lurhman summed it up pretty well

Everybody’s Free (to wear sunscreen)

Ladies and gentlemen of the class of '99
Wear sunscreen
If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it
A long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists
Whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable
Than my own meandering experience, I will dispense this advice now
Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth, oh, never mind
You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth
Until they've faded, but trust me, in 20 years, you'll look back
At photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now
How much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked
You are not as fat as you imagine
Don't worry about the future
Or worry, but know that worrying

Is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing Bubble gum
The real troubles in your life

Are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind
The kind that blindsides you at 4 p.m. on some idle Tuesday
Do one thing every day that scares you
Saying, don't be reckless with other people's hearts
Don't put up with people who are reckless with yours
Floss
Don't waste your time on jealousy
Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind
The race is long and in the end, it's only with yourself
Remember compliments you receive, forget the insults
If you succeed in doing this, tell me how
Keep your old love letters, throw away your old bank statements
Stretch
Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life
The most interesting people I know
Didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives
Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don't
Get plenty of calcium
Be kind to your knees
You'll miss them when they're gone
Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't
Maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't
Maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance the 'Funky Chicken'
On your 75th wedding anniversary
Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much
Or berate yourself either
Your choices are half chance, so are everybody else's
Enjoy your body, use it every way you can
Don't be afraid of it or what other people think of it
It's the greatest instrument you'll ever own
Dance, even if you have nowhere to do it but your own living room
Read the directions even if you don't follow them
Do not read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly
Get to know your parents, you never know when they'll be gone for good
Be nice to your siblings, they're your best link to your past
And the people most likely to stick with you in the future
Understand that friends come and go
But a precious few, who should hold on
Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle
For as the older you get
The more you need the people you knew when you were young
Live in New York City once but leave before it makes you hard
Live in northern California once but leave before it makes you soft
Travel
Accept certain inalienable truths
Prices will rise, politicians will philander, you too, will get old
And when you do, you'll fantasize that when you were young
Prices were reasonable, politicians were noble
And children respected their elders
Respect your elders
Don't expect anyone else to support you
Maybe you have a trust fund, maybe you'll have a wealthy spouse
But you never know when either one might run out
Don't mess too much with your hair
Or by the time you're 40 it will look 85
Be careful whose advice you buy but be patient with those who supply it
Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of fishing the past
From the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts
And recycling it for more than it's worth
But trust me on the sunscreen

Write a list. Cross stuff off. On bad days , start with something you’ve already done, like wake up, if necessary. If your list is too long, have 3, now, soon and later.If your list is too short, write your goals, and a tiny step towards achieving them.

Thank you. This is so important.

Do the spontaneous picnic/bbq/winter walk with hot chocolate with your kids. Wake them up to look at the stars. Run in the sea. Go for a drive and see where you end up. Do the fun stuff! Life was becoming a grind for a while until I stepped back and realised that was what I’d stopped doing so much of.

It is true, even with the stuff that is devastating. It doesn't mean denying your feelings. But almost everything can be re-framed usefully to make it less painful or to help you recover.

This concept of examining your thoughts is integral to CBT, which has been found to be extremely effective against depression.

One of the things that will make you weak is going through life perceiving yourself as victim, or blaming other people/things for your luck.

Bad things happen to us all. Some things are devastating. But the way we perceive them is our choice. It's the only thing we CAN control.

Antidepressants

A lot of bullying - within families, with neighbours, in workplaces - is done by people who aren't genuine bullies and aren't deliberately trying to make you feel bad. They are just fixated on what works for them and haven't considered how that affects you.

You need to supress your animal fight-or-flight response and give them a chance. Explain calmly, once, why the situation is not suitable for you. Then, try to finish the conversation and give them time to mull it over.

In my experience, it works at least half the time, so it's worth trying.

Also, stop buying your children white clothes.

Be the person you wish you had when you were younger.

If there's something you don't want to do (but have to, maybe at work), do it first.

Make tomorrow's packed lunch tonight.

People don't much like Stoicism, but it is the only grown-up philosophy that doesn't seek to numb or deny, in my view.

But they are so easy to bleach!

Don't put it down, put it away.
Tell your partner you love them.

@maddy68 , omg I love this. It has made me feel wonderful in the space of 2 seconds!

Update your hairstyle as you get older - grey is okay but the same cut you've had forever is not

Update your make-up as you get older - less is more, generally, as it doesn't stick in your wrinkles

Fresh air every day

Fruit and / or veg every day

Keep hydrated - in advance rather than waiting till you are thirsty

Have a wee when you can. Don't leave it until you have to.

Sometime the best decision is not to make a decision ie give yourself some breathing space

Never make other people your priority, when for them you're just an option.

(Thank you MN for this gem; wish I'd learned it sooner.)

Write stuff down.

Not just appointments and to-do lists, but ideas, inspirations, things you did and enjoyed, wish lists, stuff you learned from conversations, ways of doing things which turned out well, trips/walks you went on that you'd like to do again some time, recommendations from friends etc etc. Things you think you'll remember, but won't!

Don't worry about what random people think.