To be pissed off at DH being patronising about swearing

[BossBabysMum]

I'm a swearer, always have been, which DH knew when he met me.

However I have always, always tried to curb it around the kids (his older kids, my DSC and our joint DC).

A few times recently DH has 'told me off' in front of his kids (teens) for saying bloody hell or the other day it was saying I was 'pissed off' about something at work.

I didn't say anything straight away but said to him afterward that I felt he was being patronising and to not tell me off like that again in front of people or we'd be having the argument about it in front of them. If I'd been saying 'oh this fucking twatting cunt at work' then fair enough but saying bloody and piss once, in front of teenagers who probably weren't even listening to us at the time?!

He thinks it's up to him what his kids hear... I totally disagree and think you can't police other people like that, in their own house especially.

@justasking111 I am quite swear though I did rein it in when DDs were little. We all have massive vocabularies because we are all voracious readers. I think the connection is more about swearing at your kids rather than in the presence of your kids. There's a difference between "fuck off you little shit" (abusive too) and "fuck, the large hadron collider has malfunctioned again".

Does he think you all live at the Chalet School? I'm afraid I'd find him very difficult to live with. I think you should try some reverse psychology on him, start speaking like Trevor Howard and Celia Johnson. Very clipped and very twee language.

@dottypotter

Anyone who uses the word "common" about a person is by definition much more common than the person to whom the remark is addressed. It's an instant signifier that someone is ignorant, small-minded ill-informed, snobbish and (if it comes right down to brass tacks) lower class.

I tend to swear In my native Scottish accent as well as throwing in a few random Scottish turns of phrase that are clear my heid is nippin

I do tend to apologise afterwards and managed to keep a lid on it until they were teens and I haven’t heard them swear in front of me. DH isnt a swearer and there could be possibly something else that’s pushing his buttons at the moment

if husband had a go at me about swearing I’ve got plenty to have a go at him about so he’s keeping quiet in that front

also he wouldn’t dare 😑

Also have never sworn at them usually just a bawbag driver

@pointythings I am laughing at "fuck, the large hadron collider has malfunctioned again". Now that would be worth swearing about.

The OP’s husband has never had a problem with it in 7 years

and now he has mentioned a few times recently

so either the op has ramped up the bad language or the DH for some reason that he doesn’t feel comfortable sharing with the OP, has had a change of heart.

unless of course the op suspects her DH of seven years has suddenly become a mini dictator at home… it’s going to be one of the above two options surely

Your statement makes no sense, parents make rules for kids, they don't have to follow them themselves, adults are not obliged to follow rules set out for children. It's kind of the way life works!

😂😂😂

@Hugasauras least she used it in context 🤣🤣

How are things now op, and yes I know who ever may say zombie, it's not that old. @BossBabysMum

I'm with him. Why do you need to
It sounds common and aggressive, why do you want to come across like that?

It’s funny that swearing in front of a kid makes you cringe, because writing about your partner with contempt like this make me cringe. ‘Dump the fucker’?

I suppose we all have different standards.

The PP who can’t swear in their home because children can’t and everyone has to follow the same rules must find it a real hassle not to be able to drink, vote, drive or be employed because her ten year old can’t either. It’s certainly not as if there are different rules and standards for children and adults across society in a variety of areas.

What do people use as exclamations? Genuinely curious.

I can say "oh god" without thinking about it when startled.

@girlfriend44 the relationship between swearing, intelligence and language fluency is complex and does not show the connections that the pearl clutchers here on this thread would like it to.

Sooo, nutshell: father wants both parents to set a good example to the kids and mum wants to continue 'not' being, because #myhouse ?

I don't swear, so this is an easy one for me.