Definition of single parent

[Perfect28]

To think that single parent means the other parent is not on the scene at all, or very rarely? I feel like this is often used to mean split from the other parent. To me this makes you a co-parent. How do you define single parent?

My DH described himself as a single parent, before we met. Their mother has no contact and is never likely to.

I think -

A single parent is someone who is single and a parent.

A lone parent is someone who is doing all the parenting alone.

So, all lone parents are single parents, but not all single parents are lone parents. And if you have a partner, regardless of where he works, you are neither a single parent nor a lone parent.

I roll my eyes when men describe themselves as a 'single dad' and it turns out they have the kids every other weekend.

In my eyes, 'single parent' means you have the kids the majority of the time on your own. I think it's quite disrespectful to parents who are genuinely coping alone if what you mean is 'I have kids and I don't live with them most of the time' or 'I have shared custody'.

I think that often lone parent should be used to show there is no second parent involved.

Single parents may or may nor coparent.

@Perfect28
I don't think there's any issues in discussing definitions personally.

You're definitely not a single parent if you're in a relationship or married and that person either doesn't live with you or is away for work.

Single parent to me is someone who doesn't have that emotional load to unload off on to someone else. Someone who does it solo. Even if it is co parenting I see that as a single parent. You're not longer in a relationship.

@MarciaMarciaMarcia
So if your DH goes and shags someone else (or you do for that matter) , that's fine right because you're single?

My kid will never see his dad again because he's dead.

A friend once tried this shit with me. Solemnly told me she 'felt my pain' as a 'fellow single parent'.

Her husband works away for two months on/off. Mine had just dropped dead unexpectedly of a heart attack.

I still feel the rage thinking about it now. You have literally no idea what being a single parent means.

Because in this whole time you haven’t had to worry about keeping the roof over their heads while raising them

I get it can be lonely for you too but it’s not carrying the weight of your childrens needs alone is it?

Single parent - person who is rp and no longer in a relationship with the father of the child/ren. There is some involvement from the other parent eg visitation, child support.

Lone parent - other parent has fucked off and does nothing.

I agree with the dictionary definition

Definition of single parent
: a parent who lives with a child or children and no husband, wife, or partner.

I’m trying to work out what I think of a parent who has them less than 50%. They’re still a parent. And they’re single. I think it depends on context.

Then you're not a single parent.

My husbands military. We have been together 16 years. 2 kids aged 12 and 10. Although I feel like a single parent (even when he's gone) obviously I'm not.

Home*

Single parent - resident parent, doing the bulk the work. Dad might be involved, has access but isn’t responsible etc.

Lone parent - all on their own, zero help from dad/mum.

Co-parent - sharing parental responsibility as equally as possible (although I’ve only known one example of this, which didn’t last as the mum got a BF and moved)

When I was growing up lots of peoples dads went to work on the rigs. I can imagine how appalled all those Catholic mothers would have been to be called a ‘single mother’ because DH was working away!

It's also knowing that there are two parents who still share all those milestones.

I went to my kid's first parents evening alone, when he was in A&E it was just me sitting waiting for news, when he shares exciting news of his achievements it's just me who will hear them, when he gets married it will only be me to watch.

I don't feel sorry for myself - that's just the way my life turned out. I do feel desperately sad for my kid though and it really fucking hurts thinking about all the things he's missing by not having his wonderful dad by his side.

I think it's well know that being a single parent is a struggle, financially and practically. It's not so well acknowledged that the thing you miss most is sharing the good bits.

I always thought of the phrase "single parents" to just mean a parent who has split from and doesn't live with the other parent. It's obviously much more complex than this and many parents who I think of as "single parents" have more involvement from the other parent than parents who live together and are a couple. I also know single parents who have no involvement with the other parent but have a big extended family that are involved like a parent to the child. I think it better to think of how socially isolated people are in terms of raising children

I consider myself to be a lone parent as I am parenting completely alone (physically, mentally and financially).

It doesn't change the defination of the word single parent despite the deeper circumstances.

It's like CMS it varies from low,average and high however if you claim and recieve it, it's exactly that you recieve CMS.

See this is another thing that annoys me; people assume that lone parents have lots of family help, I don’t and never have, I parent completely alone with zero help from family either, seems to be an assumption if you parent alone your family step in and help you raise the children, if only!

Why is defining a single parent a race to the bottom? I'm a lone parent, my ex isn't allowed to see my children and he dodges child support by any means necessary. I'm certainly not at the bottom, I was at the bottom when I was in a relationship with an abusive deadbeat. Yes, all the decisions and finances lie with me but I'm certainly not struggling with any of that. There is a fate worse then parenting alone.

O.M.G.

I actually think the question should be approached from the other angle.

90% of single/lone parent families are headed by women. Many get no maintenance.
Most primary care givers within relationships are still mothers, who also do approx 80% of domestic-related chores.

For me, the question is why so many men are able to get away with providing less than 50% of the economic/practical/enotional contribution needed to bring up a child?

Those left carrying the deficit left by the other parent should be angry at a society that enables that, not other women who may have it better than themselves but probably way worse than the other parent.

And I say that as someone who really did do it 100% alone, with other single parent friends who had it a lot 'easier'. It was hard for all of us in different ways. We supported each other.

I think it's well know that being a single parent is a struggle, financially and practically. It's not so well acknowledged that the thing you miss most is sharing the good bits.

@orwellwasright

I'm very sorry for the loss of your DH.

I'm a single parent with a useless ex who has made my life hell.

You have nailed it about the 'good bits'. I get so sad at Christmas, birthdays, milestone events like finishing / starting school. I get through them but am invariably wiped out & deeply sad the day after. Had an example of just this the past weekend. Although I mentioned it to a couple of friends / family, they really didn't get it.

A single parent is when the other parent 'abdicates' most or all parental duties. Is physically absent and does/does not pay CM; does not contribute to the over all well-being of the child by co-parenting.