To think some people have it all?

[Feelingcrappy1]

Career, kids, good marriage, happiness?

I would love to have all these at the same time.

What are you basing that on… social media?

YABU. I have had all 4 of those (and have them all now.) But I have had times in my life when I don't have them all. Nobody has all this forever.

Of course they do, probably not all at the exact same time ALL the time though. Right now I would say I have all four and I am so thankful but two years ago I was not happy. A year before that I was in a career I hated…I have changed since. And the reason I was unhappy two years previously has since sorted itself.

Some people may seem to have it all on paper - career, marriage etc- I do on paper as do most of my friends. But actually do they all have happiness??

happiness is subjective and can’t be achieved by ticking boxes

And truth is I doubt anyone - even the richest, most loved up, most attractive person out there is always happy

I just wouldn’t believe what you hear or see from other peoples lives

Not all that glitters is gold.

Of course they do. It’s just bitter thinking to claim people can’t possibly be happy and successful in all areas of their life.
There will always be someone with a happier/ better life.

and in saying that I have all 4 now I will also I’m well swat that I could wake up tomorrow and somethings may have changed.
i have issues as we all do, healthwise etc but i don’t let it rule/ruin my happiness.

I gave up my career to work part time with DC’s in an office job. I sometimes wonder if I did the right thing.

Yeah some do, I worked hard for it and count my blessings every day.

Do your own thing, don’t compare yourself to others, ignore what people post on social media and hopefully it will all fall into place for you.

@Feelingcrappy1 that doesn’t have to be forever though? I gave up work completely for 6 years and went back to my previous career (and hated it!) to then go on to a completely new career which I adore!

Some people will always have more money, a more successful career, a happier family life, a better car.

Equally, lots of people will be in far worse situations.

Just don't compare. You never really know what goes on in other people's lives anyway.

Yes I have these things. There are still sadnesses though and it's a stressful juggle. Also only one DC, maybe that would exclude me from your list?

I think I have these things through luck (marriage, DC), privilege (career) and also have been very very focused on those things with no derailments.

I am happy with my lot though.

Right now I have them.

Doesnt mean I haven't had my share of shit at one time or another.

I also think a lot of people might outwardly appear to have it all but they may be carrying all sorts of struggles you aren't aware of.

I would say no one is 100% happy with their life. I'm 80% happy!

I have all these and consider myself very lucky. Juggling everything is hard though and I’m always knackered! Would love a child free night!

You don't know what goes on behind closed doors though. Some people probably think I have it all. I'm high functioning but have a severe mental health issue which is classed as a disability. On the surface I'm from a good family but it was toxic and dysfunctional. I've had a shit tonne of grenades go off in my personal life too. Yet plenty who know me well have no idea.

They APPEAR to have it all. You don't see the antidepressants in their bedside drawer, you don't hear the family arguments, you don't see the Grandad that passed away from cancer the year before, you don't hear about the huge credit card debt, you don't hear about the bullying boss, the miscarriages etc etc

Some people are luckier than others, that's for sure.

We all know people who keep getting kicked by life. They've made no bad decisions or choices but bad things keep happening.

So, in the lottery of life some people probably do win and get it all.

But I suspect they are few and far between.

Maybe they do have it all, but maybe they are up to their eyeballs in debt, or are so busy 'living the perfect life' that they never have a moment of downtime.

Maybe they are just so unhappy they are trying to justify what they are doing.

There are two things I know or strongly suspect:

There is no such thing as a perfect life.

The people who appear to live a charmed life are also the people that, should a tiny thing come along to trouble them, feel it's a major incident. Meanwhile there's the rest of us who have really shitty things to deal with, but don't make a fuss about it.

I’m yet to meet someone who has it all and I’m in forties. My friends who have successful careers and therefore money missed out on loads with their babies and it’s usually caused them health problems. On the flip side I have friends who have decent jobs, kids, happy marriages but struggle financially.

Nobody has it all .. happiness comes in waves ... Life will always throw a curveball

It's not possible to have happiness all the time - no one is immune from illness / death of friends and family

I have all these now and am 100% happy, but I have had miscarriages and lost jobs. No one has had a perfect life for its entirety, we've all been though some shit

I’m in my early 30’s so all of a sudden started worrying about things I may come to regret.

is there anything you would go back and chan he if you could?

feel like I have been through so much in the last 3 years I feel like I am now a completely different person.