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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Intolerant neighbour disgusted by chalk drawings.

267 replies

Milsey13 · 17/06/2022 13:00

We've been living in a lovely community Cresent of flats where everyone knows everyone, families, couples and elderly. Our children are good natured, caring and kind. They play outside together and all neighbours are used to them and love seeing their chalk drawings, especially through lockdown. We have since had a new neighbour. On first meeting he revved his engine and sped up going very close to my son who was chalk drawing, he always moves out of the way but had very little time. My son was a little stunned. The neighbour then walked towards him glaring at him like he was a juvenile delinquent. I looked at him with raised eyebrows and the neighbour started ranting at me that the chalks are disgusting and he's sick of seeing them when he comes home and we should not be playing outside and to go to the park etc etc. He was very aggressive. I suggested he need to be more tolerant as we are a diverse community with families and those without children have always enjoyed their drawings. He said we have no respect and he will be complaining about us etc etc. My son is autistic and very gentle and kind but is now to scared to go outside incase he sees us. I feel the neighbours aggression and driving was far more disgusting than children chalk drawing. My son is known for his amazing drawings and it's been encouraged as part of his play therapy, so it was very confusing that someone would refer to art as disgusting. The irony also is, that my son has a fantastic engineering brain and it turns out the complaining neighbour is an ecologist and environmental engineer promoting a greener future! Yet, he's revving his engines and intimidating young children! I just can't get over it!

OP posts:
Geneviev · 18/06/2022 16:42

Sorry. Moving too fast for me!

So basically he wasn’t asked or given the opportunity to put his point across and therefore he’s wrong?

i mean I won’t lie I find it quite unlikely that he’s zooming around driving directly at kids (in full view of their parents) like some kind of crazy child murderer type. Seems more likely that he drives in faster than you would like, and so the kids needed to move faster.

Trixiefirecracker · 18/06/2022 16:45

Geneviev · 18/06/2022 16:42

Sorry. Moving too fast for me!

So basically he wasn’t asked or given the opportunity to put his point across and therefore he’s wrong?

i mean I won’t lie I find it quite unlikely that he’s zooming around driving directly at kids (in full view of their parents) like some kind of crazy child murderer type. Seems more likely that he drives in faster than you would like, and so the kids needed to move faster.

…because they are chalking on a road. 😳

crysania · 18/06/2022 16:51

You started this thread yesterday afternoon and have since had a residents meeting and vote.

I'm still confused. The car access doesn't make it sound like the safest place, speed restrictions of 5mph aside.

The neighbour throws plates out of windows at people, as well as speeding towards children, too? 😦

Milsey13 · 18/06/2022 16:54

This incident happened over a week ago. It's done the rounds in the building as others have also had problems. I had been stewing a bit as my son was nervous going outside and the neighbours had a BBQ and we all got together and chatted about it and they said a meeting is coming up. There is a hall on the premises which is part of a day center we can use. It's a small block of only 20 flats. I posted this yesterday as they were far more annoyed at the dislike for kids drawing and playing outside. I was more upset about the aggression. The meeting is usually held mainly for flat owners re building maintenance issues, but renters are welcome. It was suggested by a neighbour that I go as she was going to bring it up. I wanted to make sure that no one else minded that did not have children hence a hands up scenario. It was discussed if anyone else feels the same about children drawing chalks. No one minded and neighbour concerned didn't join.

OP posts:
Milsey13 · 18/06/2022 16:58

But he specifically mentioned chalks, not cars which is supposed to go 5mph as is a pedestrian area that has no pavements. He said the chalks are disgusting that was his focus. You can barely see them.

OP posts:
girlmom21 · 18/06/2022 16:59

Milsey13 · 18/06/2022 16:58

But he specifically mentioned chalks, not cars which is supposed to go 5mph as is a pedestrian area that has no pavements. He said the chalks are disgusting that was his focus. You can barely see them.

So did nobody bringing up strongly reinforcing the 5mph speed limit?

FateHasRedesignedMost · 18/06/2022 17:01

Your son shouldn’t be chalking on communal roads or dropped kerbs or car parks, presumably he was if neighbour needed to drive past him.

what looks like talented artwork to you may look like graffiti or childish scribble to others!

chalk on your own drive or patio not shared spaces,

oldageprancer · 18/06/2022 17:01

So ... there's a raging man in the area who throws plates from windows and drives 20mph over the speed limit in a pedestrian zone, aiming his car at small children ....
and you all voted on whether chalk drawings are annoying or life-enhancing ...
Love it

PaddingtonBearStareAgain · 18/06/2022 17:03

I wanted to make sure that no one else minded that did not have children hence a hands up scenario.

Jeez I hate
this sort of rubbish.

It has nothing to do with if you have DC or not. I do btw. Children shouldn't be playing where cars are and not everyone likes chalk everywhere.

PaddingtonBearStareAgain · 18/06/2022 17:05

So yea turns out he's a bit bonkers

Nice inclusive language there OP

Milsey13 · 18/06/2022 17:06

He's breaking the law driving faster to scare children on a pedestrian area that says slow 5mph children sign! He aggressively went in on me after staring at my son who is quite young, like he's a teenager so that's completely inappropriate. They have a community presence and well known, for good reasons not bad. This guy then laid into me about how disgusting chalks are and he's sick of seeing kids playing outside.
Everyone is free to go to the meeting, for me it was about whether others are unhappy about the kids not to gang up on him. But it turns out he's been doing lots of anti social things around the back like throwing plates at people so he's had an anti social behaviour report put in from others not me. But if he drives aggressively at anyone's children again the police will be called!

OP posts:
PaddingtonBearStareAgain · 18/06/2022 17:06

girlmom21 · 18/06/2022 16:59

So did nobody bringing up strongly reinforcing the 5mph speed limit?

Apparently not. Everyone should love the amazing chalk drawings

Milsey13 · 18/06/2022 17:12

Always someone keeping an eye at front entrance for cars it's a dead end that's pedestrianised as no pavements and private . He came round at normal speed and sped up swerving at where my son stood out of the way he was already on the side and there was no need for this guy to go anywhere near him. I waved at him to say we're here as he came in. Then he parked got out glared at my boy and went in on me about chalks 🤪

OP posts:
ArmWrestlingWithChasNDave · 18/06/2022 17:14

These kids are a good bunch. They plant and look after the green areas, they watered all the day care block plants during lockdown and liter pick the area.

Of course they do Mrs Stepford

girlmom21 · 18/06/2022 17:17

Milsey13 · 18/06/2022 17:12

Always someone keeping an eye at front entrance for cars it's a dead end that's pedestrianised as no pavements and private . He came round at normal speed and sped up swerving at where my son stood out of the way he was already on the side and there was no need for this guy to go anywhere near him. I waved at him to say we're here as he came in. Then he parked got out glared at my boy and went in on me about chalks 🤪

So you didn't lose your shit on him when he drove at your son?

crysania · 18/06/2022 17:18

I can't believe I'm saying it, but a diagram might actually be helpful here.

NewBootsAndRanty · 18/06/2022 17:19

staring at my son who is quite young, like he's a teenager

You whatnow?

PaddingtonBearStareAgain · 18/06/2022 17:22

If you call the police OP I can guarantee they will also say it is dangerous for DC to play where cars are going ul and down.

No child should be playing in an arra where they have to move when a car comes.

It is an accident waiting to happen.

PaddingtonBearStareAgain · 18/06/2022 17:23

*up and area

Milsey13 · 18/06/2022 17:25

Look this happened over a week ago. I posted yesterday as we'd had a lot of chat and yesterday afternoon I was told there was a residents meeting which I don't usually bother with. My neighbour said she was going to bring it up as her friend and neighbour who lives behind said there were plates flying out the window towards him and his car. All this info is coming about from different residents because of what happened to us and yes he speeds up! it's a dead end area with grass and bushes the parents base at the entrance and shout car and wave the driver. There is rarely a car in this area and 5 spaces 2 unused accept for neighbours and we know eachother times. Most work 9-5 and we all know eachother accept for this guy. I'm not the only one who's witnessed this now.
This has not happened over 24hrs but over 10 days of conversations! The neighbour said they put in an anti social behaviour report and it is the same person.

OP posts:
ArmWrestlingWithChasNDave · 18/06/2022 17:26

I was told there was a residents meeting which I don't usually bother with.

Don't you get burned in the wicker man if you miss two in a row?

crysania · 18/06/2022 17:28

So he's driving to get to his car parking space. What's the proximity of the chalk drawings to those? This is why a diagram would be helpful.

Milsey13 · 18/06/2022 17:29

It's a pedestrian area. Obs wouldn't let play on a busy rd. There is a dead end and a few parking spaces by residents only who we all know barr this one neighbour. So barely any car movement and safety signs saying 5mph and slow children.

OP posts:
PaddingtonBearStareAgain · 18/06/2022 17:30

There's a residents committee that meet once a month. He didn't turn up but everyone voted in favour.

If it was yesterday afternoon he was probably at work. Very suprised such meetings are held on a usual working day afternoon.

Milsey13 · 18/06/2022 17:32

It's not a house it's flats with shared outdoor space that historically the residents children have always used. It's pedestrianised but cars can drive on to the few spaces at 5mph. Rarely is any accept 9 & 5 to and from work.

OP posts: