To think to hell with this life!! I’m done!!

[Remiwoof2]

I’m sorry if I sound unreasonable but I am just honestly wanting to run away to a hotel and call it on today!! Actually not even the whole day but my evening time.

Thursdays have been promised to me as an evening of relaxation and no commitments! So this is week 2 and this evening I’ve had 4 projectile vomits from the 2 year old and because he’d thrown up in his bed other half moved him to ours which has a new simba mattress and a gorgeous soft duvet which he has now thrown up on 2 under sheets so I’m sleeping on a blanket with no duvet now.

he went back to his own bed after throwing up on ours twice and he’s thrown up on that one again so the 2 year old is down to his last sheet. My other half cannot tell the puppy to be quietly properly and after a big moth got in the room I had to remove it.

this is all during the worst temperature ever! I hate summer! I hate this evening and I am so sick of my wet blanket fiancée and the stupid stupid false promises of being able to relax!! I feel like the only way I’m ever going to get chance to relax properly is if I run away or I die 🤷🏼‍♀️😡

Yup...i hear you op. Sick kids suck...or rather looking after them does.

Your partner needs to rethink his priorities. He is pulling the wool over your eyes and has found a way to be able to sit and game, under the guise of important work

So your relaxing night off does not begin until 9.30/10pm?
I'm fast asleep by then!
Perhaps you should give him a relaxing night off, starting at 2am?

Incredibly frustrating and exhausting

I have 5 living children (and one stillborn) and really feel for you re vomiting , I've had numerous occasions when older ones were little when they were all sick at the same time, two throwing up, 2 y o vomiting AND having the runs (same tummy bug) and husband being away that day , I was also feeling sick and was pregnant, and one child was throwing up so often she ended up having to go to hospital and on a drip for the night. After the very first tummy bug I invested in waterproof mattress protectors for all and my 18 year old is the only one that doesn't have one on his bed, the rest still do and after my 14 y o had food poisoning while and was violently sick recently I was glad she had one on her bed.

your baby being Ill is so stressful, it really sucks and feels like everything is against you. this happening on you promised relaxation night must be really annoying.
however .... your poor baby is unwell, think back to the time you had a vomiting bug (if you ever did), it's really unpleasant and frightening for them apart from the the actual throwing up. It's frustrating, the sheer amount of smelly sheets and having to change bedding 100 times but the main thing is they get better soon.
this feeling will pass, you will

Can your partner skip his evening of hobby-gaming-business 😏 tonight so that you can relax this evening instead?

To all those saying a sick toddler means all hands on deck, I do agree, but would OP's partner have been "all hands on deck" if toddler was ill on a Wednesday? It doesn't sound like it. His "side business" doesn't top trump your down time.

Tbf if its projectile vomiting territory then its normal to have all hands on deck. Evening off in lieu.

I just read again and sounds like your son may warrant a trip to A&E if he doesn't stop vomiting so many times as they get dehydrated so quickly and esp in this heat.
Id also not call your partner a wet blanket unless he sleep soundly all the way through the events described in the first post.

I get it OP. Amazed that some people on here don't, really. Must be kick an OP day today, or it's those that work full time in vv important jobs, are perfect parents and never need any down time that are on duty today!

Putting myself in your position, I imagine it's because your evening off was pretty hard won, so you had to argue for it in the light of not having any time off during the week while your DP indulged his hobby/business. And that your DP, while doing the basic sheet changing, wasn't really running round like a whirling dervish, so left you to sort out the moth etc. Also, that he didn't acknowledge the loss of your evening off, by saying sorry it had to be tonight, and I'll give you tomorrow off instead, which would have mollified you a bit?

Does this approach what happened? The thing is that a really good partner sometimes puts the other person first, and thinks how they might feel. They don't just carry on doing their thing, ignoring the impact on the other person. Try and lay out how it feels for you and get him to step up more, or at least have some damn empathy.

When my kids have bugs I just get up. We sit and watch TV with a bowl and wait until the throwing up stops before going back to bed. Then I cover the bed with towels.
On one memorable night I'd done that and put the first kid back to bed and then the other one started throwing up.
I feel for you OP it's miserable.

A puppy and a 2 year old! You’re brave! Your toddler sounds pretty poorly though, parents of very young don’t generally get much relaxation time.

Kids AND pets, no sympathy sorry. Just pick one or the other.

The title of your post makes you sound like you're contemplating suicide when all you're pissed off about is a vomiting child when you want to rest. Dramatic much?

YABVVVVVVU.

Sorry but when a child is ill, there’s no such thing as relaxing. Get a grip.

I don't think OP is criticising her DP for not dealing with it all by himself, she's bemoaning the awful timing and loss of her evening off.

I hear you OP. After DH being away with work three times in five weeks I was finally getting a trip away to see family this weekend. By myself. I was going to be on a plane and on trains (sad but I enjoy that, especially since kids when it means I can sit in peace), sleep in a hotel room by myself, all night long, eat in restaurants, drink wine, have a cooked breakfast, wear nice dresses, use a new handbag, wear my hair down without anyone pulling on it. I was LIVING for this trip.

Well you can guess it. The night before I was due to leave both children started vomiting. No break for me. And then a work crisis on top (although maybe that would've been more stressful to be away from with no laptop!).

DH has been telling me to book a night in a hotel by myself for ages (two young kids, full-time job, feeling the burnout) and I thought it was overindulgent but I really might take him up on it.

I do agree about your DP's hobby though. I've known a few men pull this bs, trying to turn a hobby into a money maker. Because it's A Business and not just a hobby that makes it worthy and untouchable and they can absent themselves from family life. Because the family's financial future rests on them. Never mind their actual job, their wife's (often higher paying!) actual job, and their responsibilities to their children. The Business Needs Them. Shite husbands and fathers, all of them.

Your partner is checking out for the majority of family time to build his gamer ‘business’, which just so happens to be a hobby he loves? Is it YouTubing? Is making any money via it truly likely? Or is he just making excuses?

I’m betting it’s painting warhammer figures.

Nope he can’t have 20+ hours a week of play time. Even if it doesn’t cost financially it’s costing you personally and his relationships.

Layer waterproof pads and small cot sized sheets crosswise at the top of the toddler bed when throwing up. Then you only need to remove that layer. Invest in a breathable waterproof cover for your mattress. Invaluable for when you need to bring a sick child in with you ( and for if you leak overnight when on your period).

@Remiwoof2 Ah 'hobbyist gaming'... sounds familiar. Does he paint minis by any chance? My husband has recently decided he's going to start taking painting commissions.

MN is horrible lately for anyone posting for a bit of sympathy and support.

I get it OP. There’s nothing worse than thinking you’re getting a break, then it’s sabotaged by a sick toddler do you don’t even get to properly angry at your plans being messed up.

But you know you have your finger on something - you are completely right that the only way you will get time and space is to ruthlessly take it for yourself.

First day toddler, cat, etc are well, pick up your coat and go out. Let your fiancé pivot - I mean, you just did. Take your time, fill your tank, recharge your battery because the only way anyone will take your needs seriously is if you do!

Look at your fiancé. For some reason you’re taking his business seriously even when it brings no family benefit, is a glorified hobby and it’s absolutely not the right season of life for it. Yet you take that seriously enough to provide how many hours of free labour looking after his dc, at the expense of your own mental health.

Take a leaf out of his book and start treating your needs as something serious.

aw OP it sucks but the small years are over fairly quickly. Projectile vomiting and all that went on there probably unsettled cat and puppy so i get why your OH couldn't handle it alone. TBH in that situation even if my OH had gone out for the eveing for their "me time" I'd have called them and asked them to come back (or asked them not to go in the first place)

Having said that - what kind of daft idea is it to bring a vomiting child into another (big) bed?

Do you not think you should be taking your child to hospital or at least go? That’s far too much vom episodes for a 2yo in such a short space of time… screw the fancy duvet!

Mine did similar the night before last and I never once contemplated hospital. This is what they do surely? They go until they're fully empty, bring up a bit of bile and then finally settle and wake up ready to drink some water and eat some toast.

Hospital?! You think taking a highly infectious toddler with a standard vomiting bug into hospital is a good idea, do you?

Surely this is just life with small children?

Why is your girlfriend not pulling her weight?

And why would you even want to?!

your toddler is suffering. There is only one place i would want to be if my toddler was sick, and that is By their side