To think to hell with this life!! I’m done!!

[Remiwoof2]

I’m sorry if I sound unreasonable but I am just honestly wanting to run away to a hotel and call it on today!! Actually not even the whole day but my evening time.

Thursdays have been promised to me as an evening of relaxation and no commitments! So this is week 2 and this evening I’ve had 4 projectile vomits from the 2 year old and because he’d thrown up in his bed other half moved him to ours which has a new simba mattress and a gorgeous soft duvet which he has now thrown up on 2 under sheets so I’m sleeping on a blanket with no duvet now.

he went back to his own bed after throwing up on ours twice and he’s thrown up on that one again so the 2 year old is down to his last sheet. My other half cannot tell the puppy to be quietly properly and after a big moth got in the room I had to remove it.

this is all during the worst temperature ever! I hate summer! I hate this evening and I am so sick of my wet blanket fiancée and the stupid stupid false promises of being able to relax!! I feel like the only way I’m ever going to get chance to relax properly is if I run away or I die 🤷🏼‍♀️😡

Why have you had a child with someone who keeps all the money the make from the side job for themselves? The selfishness there would be what I would focus on. Toddler vomiting 7 times in a short space of time is pretty serious and would be a two person job if there were two adults in the house (I’ve had to handle it solo many times - it can be done - but not by choice!)

I agree with PlattyJoobz, it seems pretty selfish that he works on a side business which he loves, leaves you to do the childcare, and to rub salt into the wound keeps all the money from it for himself. I’m surprised you’re not raging at that - I would be.

The plan with the hobby/side business is to make it bigger scale the reason he keeps all the money from it is that he makes sure he has 3 months worth of expenses at all times in order to avoid using family funds for it.. it’s a hobbyist gamer type business and he funds his own equipment and things rather than using family money.

he will eventually when he makes more put it into the family funds.. it’s just a bit difficult to see the wood through the trees with it right now..

Bringing a puppy into the mix when you are overburdened with caring duties sounds a strange move

I had ran off to a hotel (twice!) after major rows. I warned DH repeatedly to not to push my buttons and I had my plate full. The childcare arrangement was unfair and his attitude was pissing me off. Fair warning was given both times so it wasn’t much of a shock to him.

I had to take my newborn with me though as I was still breastfeeding. Oh the relief was enormous. Clean sheet, cooked breakfast. Everyone is smiley and friendly. Elderly guests cooed over the baby while I had breakfast and it was still warm!! Even drank a warm cup of tea!! Oh the luxury of being able to chew and taste the food was immense.

By midday the next day I was pumped and ready get back to work. DH was also much better behaved for a long while after my 15 hour escape. As mentioned above he did act up again after first escape, only a year later, so I had to do it all over again and this time it drove the point home.

Honestly I think a 2 year old projectile vomiting means you cancel your relaxation evening and muck in to help your partner and comfort your toddler.

You can reschedule your evening off-duty to another night.

I’d be livid and disappointed if my DH was having an evening off (planned) yet didn’t come and help if one of our young DC were ill and vomiting everywhere. It’s all hands on deck in that situation and you prioritise the child’s needs over relaxing. They often just want mummy.

How did you expect him to deal with the pets and moth if he was taking care of an ill toddler??

I remember those days. I could plan the kids illness in advance as would always correspond with a rare girls night out lol. Or a holiday. Or.....

Enjoy your lovely child, bin the fiance (if you already think he's a wet blanket - marriage won't turn him into a prince). Eventually your little one will grow up (quicker than you imagine) and you can have more alone time than you can imagine...and it really is as good as you think it will be!

So once he has accumulated 3 months of expenses, what happens to the income then?

It sounds like he is completely taking the piss, hiding away to continue his hobby whilst you are on the verge of a breakdown. Let me guess, this then makes him too tired to do his share of the domestic chores too?

With the child so young, is now the best time to be working two full-time jobs (I'm assuming that's why he does this job from 5.30pm), one of which is a hobby business that doesn't bring any money to the family? His time might be of more use right now.

What exactly is "a hobbyist gamer-type business"? When did he decide to start this up?

Yeah he is not coming out if this very well.

My first night out after dd2 born I came home to find baby and toddler and bedding all changed. They had both thrown up everywhere shortly after Id left. Dh hadnt thought to contact me as he didn’t want to spoil my night. In contrast to your wet blanket!

Wow he's doing well out of this isn't he, misses most bedtimes and has the evenings to himself to do a hobby which he enjoys and also keeps the money from. What? Had to reread to get my head around it. What time does your toddler go to bed?

The plan with the hobby/side business is to make it bigger scale the reason he keeps all the money from it is that he makes sure he has 3 months worth of expenses at all times in order to avoid using family funds for it.. it’s a hobbyist gamer type business and he funds his own equipment and things rather than using family money.

Money that he technically makes while you run yourself into the ground with stress caring for your shared child and pets is pretty much the dictionary definition of family money isn’t it? He’s not doing you a favour there, the very opposite. No way would I tolerate the notion of a side business with a toddler. Bad enough having to juggle it all with one job each! And sympathies, it makes me want to scream when the children get ill on downtime

It always seem to happen when we just can't take anymore, or we think we can't and then we're shown that actually yes we have no limits.

I feel your pain, I've been there. It's relentless & exhausting. End of.

BUT you will get through. I hope other half is helping.

If my husband was having a "night off" and didn't immediately help when our child was sick, everyone on here would be telling me to LTB.

This is just life with kids i'm afraid. I hope your little one is better soon and you can get a break this weekend!

My thoughts entirely. What a piss taking arse!

I think you are being unreasonable on your fiancé. Surely a sick kids trumps a promise of a relaxed evening?

How many children do you have OP? Do you work too?

And if my 2 year old was throwing up and poorly, no bloody way would I want an evening of relaxation and no commitments

i would want to be looking after my poorly baby!

In fact, if my 13 year old son was throwing up and poorly, i would want to be looking after him rather than a night of relaxing and no commitments!

Yup, I’d be insisting on that money being shared if I’m picking up the slack.

Are you sure he's not just off playing computer games every evening?

Also if Dd was puking everywhere we’d both roll our sleeves up tbh, one would be cleaning her the other would be cleaning other stuff and replacing bedding. But DH doesn’t shirk being a parent at any time so if it was an evening off for me and it got disrupted I would be mildly annoyed at worst. You are angry because you don’t feel like you get left alone and are always on duty?

If your cat peed on the sofa but doesn’t normally do things like that then it might be a medical issue. It’s a big warning sign and when mine tried to do it, I rushed her to the out of hours vets and she had cystitis.

Agree it sounds like your partner is taking the piss

I get it. I have said to DH on more than one occasion I need a break. And on these days where it’s promised something always happens. Always. We’ve stopped building up the “time off” in the hopes the universe doesn’t notice and then doesn’t send us utter crap to deal with.