I've learnt certain things about modern life from reading this thread. To say first, I think the OP is great. She's pursuing her own self-development by asking for opinions, and, without any rancour over the fact that her post has turned into a thread examining wider issues, she gracefully says 'thanks for advice', and goes off to do the synthesis of for and against.
Again, nothing to do with OP, but people have made classist assumptions about how satisfactory are all the components of her decision, especially the children's father - perhaps because of an unconscious bias to see the players as sensible and resilient, because to be in the social bracket of a lawyer, you must be well-educated, well-off and with certain cultural capital. Although we know next to nothing about the dad, probability says he will be on a par with OP: healthy, stable and with the means to cope. An OP wanting to go away for an Only Fans convention, may have drawn more questions about the qualifications of the other parent to cope, in her absence .
The sort of self-development which involves ' aspirations' and 'opportunities' and 'following dreams' and chances that won't come again sounds utterly fatuous. I can't believe so many unknown factors are being bundled up and labelled with these abstract terms, instead of being unpicked and examined carefully with due diligence.
In wider terms, I have wondered before what privilege looks like, now that we all want to save the planet, and drive second hand cars, and I see, today, that privilege identifies with a certain peurile demand for self-actualisation - Maslow's pyramid peak, I suppose . It's not materialistic, but it's very individualistic, and not community-minded. I think all these ideas of fulfilling your dreams are rather deceptive and they don't work well in the sphere of human relationships. In fact they don't work well beyond the age of 21, and are best dropped in favour of common sense.