Feel like such an ugly woman

[NotaTorie]

I feel so ugly and don’t know how to fix myself.

I am 40, overweight and with acne. I have cellulite all over my legs. Bad posture and yellow teeth. One breast is significantly bigger than the other. I have a prominent tummy. My nails constantly break. My skin is blotchy all over with little spider veins on my leg.

I just live in jeans and oversized shirts and feel I look so messy. I straighten my hair everyday but it still looks kinky and horrible (although better than if I just left it).

How do I fix myself? I got an expensive gym membership in January and just never go. I want to kick myself for spending so much money (£100 a month) and have only been about 10 times. Honestly this keeps me up at night when I think of the time wasted.

I feel so uncomfortable at work and just wish I could hide. All my clothes are horrible and I just look awful.

I eat sugar ever day and just can’t stop.

How do I fix this? My life is one big mess. I promise myself that tomorrow will be the day. I’ll get up and go to the gym
before work but I never do. And then I feel guilty and eat sugar and say tomorrow will be different.

Also agree with PP on the fake tan. Hides a multitude of sins and makes you feel so much better xxxx

Great advice here- I’m going to take some too!

i feel very similar and bought some new clothes last week - large size but modern and summery and felt better wearing them!

Look at your vitamin intake. Start supplementing the vits and minerals you are likely missing, i.e. Vit D and magnesium are v important for well being but also vit d deficiency could be why your nails are brittle, it could also be why you feel apathy about going to the gym.

Honestly, getting your vitamin and minerals sorted will help you turn a massive corner in your journey to being the person you want to be.

Small changes over time OP. When you do things that are good for you you should praise yourself and remind yourself it's healthy. Sugar is very addictive but you can overcome the addiction and once you do sugary foods taste awful. I've been through the same and I can only eat a bit of it now before I actually start craving fruit and veg can you believe!
As others have said, don't be hard on yourself when you slip up. Focus on the good you can do. Encouraging yourself is much more powerful than punishment.

Also for your nails, do you take any vitamins at all because before I took a multivitamin that contains selenium mine wetee very fragile like paper. They're good now, apparently selenium isn't in our diet anymore because farming has reduced how much of it is in the soil so we need to take supplements for some things like that.

I'm sure you know what diet and what skin care and what to do about your spider veins. The information is all out there but it's the fact you don't do them. I think therapy (perhaps inner critic work or CBT) might be good to understand why you neglect yourself and rely on sugar and to raise your self esteem so its not dependent on your looks and learn to be kinder to yourself.

Try reading Atomic Habits. It helps you break things down into small, achievable goals so that you don’t get overwhelmed and give up.

Forget about the gym for now, save that money, aim to go to bed by 10 most nights and improve your diet. To begin with, add healthy things like fruit veg and protein, rather than cutting out the things you like, but know aren't good for you, get up early enough to go for a brisk walk, before work, either in your home neighbourhood, or in the area where you work, whichever has the best routes. The aim is to feel more balanced, and happier. If you do not have any current treatment for your skin, make a Gp appointment.

My biggest tip is to not wear lazy clothes in the house. Like slippers and pj's.

This is completely brilliant. So obvious but so easy (for me) to ignore. I walk past various bits of home exercise kit a hundred times a day (having deliberately left them where I’ll see them) but mostly I think “Nah, can’t do that in these clothes.”

For the rest of the summer I’m going to make sure that whenever I’m at home I’m wearing the clothes I can exercise in. Thank you!

@TheWayoftheLeaf that made me cry. I’ve never thought of it that way before, and I’ve spent years being horrible to myself 🙁

Op you sound the same as me. Joining for advice you can do it!