To think class parents need to do more?

[annoyedatotherparents]

Probably will get told that people have their own lives, everyone's busy, etc etc.

But am seriously annoyed today. I've done two years of being a class rep at my DS's school. Primary aged kids, but pretty minimal work - organising vouchers for teachers at Christmas, occasional presents for class mums who've had babies, organising volunteer rotas for two fairs a year (Xmas and summer). The kids are getting older so there's minimal reminders needed and everyone knows everyone else now so fewer social things - people just hang out in the groups they like. So all pretty easy.

I asked around today as the usual pattern is for people to do two years as class rep then hand over to someone else. The class WhatsApp was totally silent...tumbleweed. Everyone appears to be utilising the Mumsnet maxim of no being a complete sentence. However....this will mean I end up getting saddled with it all again. And I have 3DC and a full time job. There are plenty of mums in the class with one child and no job. (Rich enough husbands to not need to work).

I guess my AIBU is - would I BU to just tell everyone I'm drawing names out of a hat? The competitive busyness thing is ridiculous and I'm sure everyone will have a tantrum if I do that but the alternative is me just putting up with it and that will drive me mad!

There’s always that one parent -

That parent is you. YABU

What is this skullduggery? On another note I imagine the mum’s are thinking why should they do it - they pay fees and work their arses off to pay those fees. Maybe ask one of the Dads?

Class Rep? What fresh hell is this. Just no.

You don't know everyone's circumstances, I am pretty sure the PTA parents have noticed that I don't volunteer at all for DC2, but I did a lot for DC1's class and now I have 3 other volunteer roles outside of the school and I don't have the capacity to take on any more.

However I agree it's always the same ones who volunteer and the same ones who don't. I see it at Scouts all the time as well as school.

I’m also at private school and agree there is a great sense of community and the class reps are a godsend. No one forgets the bake sale or mufti day because the class relay everything to us and send reminders.

It was implied at my old school that everyone had to take a turn so by the upper years the leaving rep would whattsapp Listing class members who had already done it, just asking if anyone new would like to do it before we went to people who had already had the opportunity.

That being said, I do love all the “Motherland” sketches about the PTA etc

if you get contacted by PTA just say ‘sorry I’m not class rep anymore but you might want to reach out to the class parents and see if anyone wants to do it.’
it’s not your responsibility to find someone to do this stuff!

@NeedAHoliday2021 In that case, if you’re paid to do it, I can accept it’s a different kettle of fish! Although presumably you could have that time for charity volunteering etc?

We never had class reps. I've only ever heard of them on MN.

I've had two DC through primary school and am a primary teacher and have never encountered a class rep. I have me er received a group gift or vouchers and it doesn't bother me at all. I would feel awkward.

I am grateful when the PTA organise things and try to spend the requisite amount of money but have no time to be involved. I put a lot of time and my own money into educating the children where I teach.

Just stop doing it.

Every week there is collection in my DD's class. A fiver here, a tenner there. I'm fed up of it. Some weeks it's hard to spare the fiver/tenner. I know it's not mandatory, but I feel I should. Ugh

Just stop.
None of my dc or dsc school have a class rep.

Yanbu to want to step down. But yabu by suggesting names out of a hat etc.

You just say, I stop being class rep on x date and then leave it to the others to sort out class rep. If pta contacts you, you just say " remember I'm not the class rep anymore but feel free to put something on the class WhatsApp etc"

Firstly, class rep - pointless. You are not a family, you are collection of parents whose children happen to be in the same class. People don’t need group presents, vouchers, etc. if volunteers are needed for an event, people can just volunteer.
Secondly, “this will mean I end up getting saddled with it all again”. No it doesn’t, you simply let people know the date you will finish then you finish. No one will ever volunteer if you keep coming back. If no one else steps in to take over then that shows it isn’t needed.

You're creating jobs that do not need to exist. Stop doing it and you'll see that everything carries on perfectly fine.

Just say you aren’t/can’t do it anymore , and leave it at that , and dont be guilted into carrying on

OP, it's definitely a private school thing.

At one of my DC's schools, nobody wanted to do it, so we shared the pain around by taking turns. At the other, people were falling over themselves to do it, thank God.

I think you're quite right to say you're giving up and leave it at that. Someone else will do it eventually.

Class rep? I've never come across one and my son was full time at nursery and school from 3 months to 18 years old. Just quit and stop organising other peoples lives. I would not have appreciated to be told I had to get a present for every new baby arrival. I didn't do the school runs so I would have had no idea who the mums were

Class reps are always a "certain type" of person IMO.

Usually: Mummy martyrs who love organising things, having the (in their head) social kudos of being "in charge" of things, people with not much else going on in their lives, people who get off on being "in" with the school etc..etc...

Ive seen 4 dc's through the same school - 12 year gap between the eldest and youngest. The older two never had a class rep - it wasn't a thing and wasn't needed, school just sent out info as and when needed, end of year presents were either done individually or someone would have a whip-round - no biggie.

The younger two's classes have had self-appointed class reps (who then get fed up after a couple of years and try to palm the privilege off on other people) as it seemed to become a thing that parents of kids from "good" schools should do.
Cue one mum (see type above) approaching me in the playground to try and shame me into doing it - I think she thought if she asked me outright and tried to browbeat me into it in front of other mums I would have to say yes.

Err..no. Il never forget the shocked look on her face when she asked me why I wouldn't step into her shoes and I just said "because I don't want to" and walked off. She genuinely couldn't believe I'd had the gall to say "No" to her because she had a massive ego and was a huge bully. I lolled all the way home.

Step back!! Just don't do it. If theres this level of interest it's obviously an unessessarry faff that NOBODY wants or needs. Just stop.
People who wish to be in touch, buy teacher gifts, have arrangements will be. Its completely unreasonable to expect others to be on board. Unless there was an initial consultation type agreement. If it was me I'd stop. Mute the WhatsApp grp and get on with life being nice in the playground. No biggie.

Can't think of anything worse! Just say you're not doing it anymore and see if anyone steps up, if not who cares.

YABU, a class rep isn't a necessary thing. If you didn't have one, for things like it comes the end of year, people would just buy their own gift (or not), or someone just suggests they set up a PayPal pool for the teacher and then they go and buy a voucher. That doesn't need to be a job title to go with that. And let's for argument sake say that these things do need doing, you have a job, you don't need to be the person who does this. Leave it to the parents who don't work, and if they don't step up, it's not the end of the world. Please don't go through with the name in the hat idea, I imagine most people would not respond well to being told what to do by another parent.

Def just stop doing it. No one is forcing you to continue and if the school are bothered they can get in touch with parents. It must be hard though, and I sympathise, if no one takes forward your hard work. It isn’t however your problem to fix. Nor is it a reflection on you or the work you’ve done if people decide not to have a rep in the future.

Not everyone likes, uses or agrees with the need for a class rep. I'm one of the parents that cannot support the whole thing unfortunately.

We have 5 girls who are in 4 year groups and attend 3 different preps. Can you imagine the comms my husband and I receive from the schools without then a string of rep messages from each. I've muted them all and no way would I step forward to continue something I can't bare. Perhaps parents in your children's schools are the same..

If someone pulled my name out of a hat to be a class rep I'd tell them no. You cannot do that just quit.

Class rep 🤣 say what? Drawing names out of a hat? Christ just stop. Who on earth needs a designated person? We have a class WhatsApp group, people write on there, someone volunteers to do class present, buying gifts for people having baby's- completely unnecessary (unless it's the actual class teacher). Why did you volunteer? I have 3 small children and a full time job, I politely declined joining the pta, I just don't have time. I've no idea why you agreed to do this in the first place? Just end the role now, if people don't want to do a class present they'll sort their own. If they want to do it someone will suggest it and step forward, this is how it has always worked with our children.