Mother of the bride/groom-Zillas

[imperialminty]

I'm planning a wedding, and I'm on a lot of bride groups on facebook and read a lot of wedding-related things online, and I've noticed a massive trend that in people having mothers (their own or their partner's) turn into complete narcissists during wedding planning. We've had a few issues with our own being demanding, but I mostly wanted to know if anyone here has BEEN a Mother of the Bride/Groom who has been demanding about your child's wedding?

E.g - my Mum completely put her foot down when we discussed getting married just the two of us. She said it would break her heart etc., and she'd never get over it and would write me out of her will!!! We've had a couple of similar amateur dramatics from both Mum's over very minor things, so it's not just big stuff. That's a common theme in the groups. I'm fascinated by this complete 180 some people (and it is almost always Mum's) seem to do when their children get engaged. In my opinion, if you're not contributing a significant amount of money to the wedding, you don't get an opinion. If you're asked - sure! But even then the couple don't have to take your advice.

So - why? Have you ever behaved like this about a wedding? What was the thought process? (Or what do you think if it happened to you!)

Conversely, my wedding was completely paid for - split between my parents and my in-laws. We didn’t expect it at all, we were quite prepared to pay for our own wedding, but both sides offered to pay, so they agreed to go halves.

Nobody demanded a say in anything. My wife and I chose the venue, the dresses, the guest list, the food, the music. Their attitude was they were giving us a gift, not paying in order to have their own day.

many of PILs friends pay for their kids wedding but as a result have full say over the guest list etc. I find it very bizarre. Neither of our parents would ever behave that way, but if they had we just would have paid ourselves.

Threads like these just make me so very grateful for the mother and MIL I had/have. Both were very different and had different expectations of the wedding but we couldn’t have done it without either of them, they helped so much. My MIL in particular really stepped up from helping me get my dress basically remade to accommodate my pregnancy to physically hand making decorations with me and my mum made a tonne of lasagne’s to accommodate multiple special diets for the night before and took over all comms with the caterers (our wedding food was sublime). Yes they both annoyed me at times as they had different points of view, but the results of those disagreements made our wedding all the better and I really felt like our wedding was the best of both our families coming together to support us.

Brilliant. Well done to you both!

Wow! Monster in law indeed!

Many years ago, I observed a MOGzilla from the sidelines; it didn't end well.
A good friend from church was engaged, and calling in favours from friends, and I was asked to use my calligraphic skills on the reception placecards - happy to comply. (I also participated in the music-making)
She and her fiance had already set up home together, and she was setting up her own business, so they agreed between themselves on a small, modest occasion.
Her DM was horrified; there were distant relations who were clergy, and nothing but a big ceremony would do. They would have gone for a buffet in the church hall; a much grander venue was booked, but being widowed, she couldn't possibly foot the bill.....
one bright idea was that my friend should wear DM's wedding dress, but luckily, alterations proved not to be feasible.
DM had a heart condition, and whenever objections were raised, she would coincidentally become unwell, involving my friend in emergency dashes back to her childhood home, as both her siblings were living much too far away to step into the breach at short notice. The one contribution she did manage was a gargantuan wedding cake.
I became accustomed to adding more names to my place-setting list, and tried to offer moral support. It was a source of some frustration to see hard-earned funds for their prospective business going into fripperies neither of them wanted.
Eventually, the heart trouble proved to be genuine, just before the Wedding of the Year was due to happen.
At the funeral, I offered my condolences, assuming that the wedding was off, but my friend said, grimly, "We've come this far, we'll see it through!"
So she and her lovely fiance went through with this huge expensive ceremony which neither of them had wanted, and at the extravagant reception, a toast was raised to the dear departed, represented by the looming presence of a vast wedding cake.
As was customary in those days, they was a display of the major wedding gifts in the lobby, for all the guests to admire.
The bride and groom left the reception to go off on their honeymoon, and when the lobby was cleared, all the wedding gifts were stolen.
Amazingly, they are still happily married many years later; I think they figured, it could only get better.

We had the service we wanted then left and let the mums go on with the celebrations without us. Thought the threats of doing that were empty ,they weren't.my mum should have known never had 18,21 or a hen .I just don't do parties for me .

ZOMBIE

THREAD

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Did anybody see the docu series Paris (Hilton) in love. Omg the behaviour of her mother Kathy Hilton, was absolutely horrific. I spent most of the time trying to pick my jaw up off the flaw. Unreal