To be furious with daughters school.

[Incognitomum11]

Year 6 daughter. I came to pick her up yesterday from after school club to find that they had cancelled the club and my daughter had stood waiting for me for an hour, by the side of the road, all alone.

she walks from school and I pick her up from the small village on her request, to give her some independence in preparation for secondary soon.
I have a new job and have specifically given the school instructions to contact me on my work number because I have zero reception or internet at work.

BUT the school hadn’t even attempted to contact the parents to say the after school club had been cancelled.
they had only sent an email.

When I later looked at the email it clearly says “Please can you reply to this email to confirm you have received it.”
and normally they phone to check if they dont hear back.

but they hadn’t, they had told her I had been made aware and let her leave at usual time.

AIBU to be furious with them?

I know some of you may think that year 6 she should be able to deal with this but she had no phone and no money.

and in future, yea I will make sure she has a phone with her to school.

'YANBU OP, that she is in year 7 in September is irrelevant, some year 6's are 10 still, my year 7 DD has just turned 11 and I would not be happy about this as at this age'

She doesn't have to be happy with it she has to accept in life mistakes are made sadly and as a responsible parent she needs to equip her dd with the tools on how to manage. To stand alone for an hour is crazy. Kids should have contact numbers and the ability to think for themselves.

....when I got home my DS was sitting on the doorstop. He had sat there for 40 mins.

Surely the solution to that is to give him a front door key, or have a key safe, so he can let himself in?

I have to admit that I am surprised no-one appears to have stopped and asked if she was ok. A kid standing around for an hour should be very noticeable in a village.

I have a vivid memory of the day the school bus was (very) late, and the lady whose house I'd been standing outside came out to let me know what time it was and did I need her to ring anyone for me?

She should know to go back into school and tell reception or find a teacher if there is a hiccup in their collection arrangements. It is drummed into their heads from the star. Ifeally the school should have phoned you. Bit if you have an arrangement whereby your kid leaves school unaccompanied you cant really blame the school.i can't believe you haven't drilled her on what to do if you are not there

It is June your yr 7 cannot be just 11 if you are in England. If a child at the end of yr7 cannot walk home without friends there is a problem.

Goodskin46 the girl is yr 6 so 10 or nearly 11. Her mum and school are happy for her to leave unaccompanied. Most primary schools let yr 6 walk home alone. My local primary does. It seems popular time to start a bit of independence to get ready for yr 7 when they might have to walk further or get a bus etc.
Better to have happened now on a light summer evening in a village.

My DD’s school allow students to walk home from Y3 (though I won’t be letting DD walk home on her own next year- seems too early).

I would give her a basic phone and an emergency £5 never to be used for anything other than emergencies though.

Yes, at DDs school, it is year 5.

Why didn't she walk home or ask the school to call you

It isn't harder to call a landline but if there's a problem with the line or it's engaged, then OP is uncontactable. Schools usually ask for three means of contact - landline; mobile; email. They expect at least two. The problem with OP's new job is that there's no back-up if there's a problem with the landline. That's why OP has to consider every eventuality and think about another network; a signal booster; or changing who is the priority emergency contact.

The school absolutely should have informed you. My DS is year 7 and his secondary school always messages to tell us if clubs are cancelled, it’s on the school app so I get a notification I can’t miss. They shouldn’t have sent an email when it was such short notice, not everyone checks them often. It should have been a quick phone call to let everyone know. She definitely needs a phone in future though to avoid something like this recurring.

@GoldenSongbird byt I have given them a working landline and my sister is emergency contact but the school failed to ring either of us, they just sent an email, which tk me is unacceptable

It is unacceptable we all agree.

Do you agree though that if you are attempting to foster independence you need fo teach your dd what to do in unexpected situations?

It's a really big fuck up, and needs raising. But I do think when they're making their own way home you need some plan B discussions, for example what if you'd been delayed by a road accident or something else unexpected. If you don't give her a phone she should have a watch and a cut-off time by which she should return to school.

I think the school’s actions were well below the standard you should be able to expect. They failed in several ways - email isn’t the ideal choice, especially since you’ve informed them you don’t have Internet access during the day. They attempted to handle this by asking parents to confirm they’d received the email, but anyone with experience knows that doesn’t work well with most of the public and they clearly didn’t track responses and then follow up with those who hadn’t replied. They also falsely told your DD you had been made aware and let her leave with that false understanding.

it’s a safeguarding concern and certainly something to follow up about.

However, as you also seem to have now realised, it’s not just the school whose plans failed to allow for imperfection. This incident has highlighted that your own pick up practices aren’t robust and don’t have a way for you or your DD to handle things not going to plan. A phone for DD is one tool. You should probably also make sure she knows a couple of phone numbers by heart and has an idea of how to get home or to some other safe place by herself.

Who runs the ASC? Is it actually the school or just on school property?

Also, @Incognitomum11 given she's y6, why did she leave the school and not go to the office and ask for you to be contacted? Given she's off to secondary, it's concerning that she didn't...

I'm inclined to agree.

A year 6 who, to all intents and purposes, "walks home" - does the school actually know that she doesn't walk home, but in fact goes to a designated meeting place? I can guess that, as they know DD walks home, would have naturally assumed that she just... walked home?

Lesson learned though, she needs a phone and/or a plan for when things go tits up. I wouldn't go in all guns blazing though.

Where did you collect from on this day - the ASC or the village?

She does need a phone though OP and the ability to work out what to do

Because they had told the child that her parent was aware of the change.

Also in Scotland. School take nothing to do with after school arrangements where we are. Obviously if a parent hasnt turned up and the child goes back in they will call, but after P1/2 they are just released into the playground. No one checks who is going with who.

I didn’t expect quite so many replies but I’m pleased to see that 90 something % agree AINBU to be furious with her school for cancelling without proper notice.

The email is not the issue, it's that your daughter left the school gates without supervision. Assuming this doesn't normally happen (ie you collect her inside the playground), then she shouldn't have been out there alone and I agree that is safeguarding.

If she normally comes out to meet you, then surely you've had a conversation with her about what to do if you're not there? After all, the same scenario could have happened if something terrible had happened to you on the way there and you couldn't phone for some reason? If this version, then still an issue but less so as the blame is a little more widely spread.

Literally the first half a sentence of the second paragraph she walks from school and I pick her up from the small village on her request,

Well there you go. And have you and your daughter decided on a foolproof back up plan if you don’t turn up to meet her, for whatever reason?