To be furious with daughters school.

[Incognitomum11]

Year 6 daughter. I came to pick her up yesterday from after school club to find that they had cancelled the club and my daughter had stood waiting for me for an hour, by the side of the road, all alone.

she walks from school and I pick her up from the small village on her request, to give her some independence in preparation for secondary soon.
I have a new job and have specifically given the school instructions to contact me on my work number because I have zero reception or internet at work.

BUT the school hadn’t even attempted to contact the parents to say the after school club had been cancelled.
they had only sent an email.

When I later looked at the email it clearly says “Please can you reply to this email to confirm you have received it.”
and normally they phone to check if they dont hear back.

but they hadn’t, they had told her I had been made aware and let her leave at usual time.

AIBU to be furious with them?

I know some of you may think that year 6 she should be able to deal with this but she had no phone and no money.

and in future, yea I will make sure she has a phone with her to school.

This!

@ComDummings I’d be so angry as well, they should have called you. Emails aren’t acceptable for last minute or urgent changes or details.

I agree with this.

Agree with @Eeksteek

You haven’t put any plans in place. What happens if you were running late? Or had an accident on the way? What would she do then?

Definitely not unreasonable. That's awful behaviour on the schools part. I'd definitely be making a complaint. I wonder if there were other children and parents effected...?

YANBU. The school and after school club absolutely should have made sure the parents were aware that the club was cancelled - it's not up to a child to make alternative arrangements in the event of a balls-up by adults who have responsibility for them. If they emailed parents then they were obviously aware that they had to inform parents - they then stepped back and didn't follow up on their request for parents to confirm they'd received the email.

So yes, your DC should have a phone in future in case of emergencies but definitely take this up with the school - this is a major safeguarding issue. I've raised 3 DC and used an afterschool club with each one - the club was meticulous with their communication and never failed in their duty of care.

Definitely a safeguarding issue.
A short notice cancellation like that needs a phone call.
I'm a school governor and would be seriously concerned about this if it were reported to me. There would be an urgent review of policy and retraining.

The school asked for parents to confirm they had seen the email. Why did they do this if they were not going to make sure all parents had actually confirmed this. The school then specifically told the OPs daughter that her parent had been informed. If they hadn’t done this, OPs daughter may have done things differently. If the school seemingly are taking responsibility by informing parents and then telling kids that their parents are aware, they should actually mean it.

If they want the responsibility to be on the parent, I’m sure OP will be happy to call each week and check the club is on. When my kids were at primary, if you called to check things like this, you’d get a receptionist tell you that they would have let you know if anything had changed, usually sounding pissed off you had wasted their time. It was even put on a newsletter about how much time was taken up by routine calls from parents, when they could get their info online etc and changes would be communicated by the school.

And yes, the school should be able to get it right on things like this where the children’s safety is involved. If they were not capable of following a set of instructions, they should have said. But the fact remains, they didn’t even follow up on their own procedure of making sure each parent had confirmed receipt of the email...which they put in place!

Meh I can’t get stewed about this.
Yes, the school were wrong to make sure you were informed and I understand your anger of course, but in the last few weeks in Yr 6 I think she should have a basic phone anyway so she can make contact with you, and should be making her own way home.

I know society is different these days but we all walked to/from primary school alone or in small groups from Juniors (Yr 3), crossing the main A6 with the lollipop man. It built confidence and resilience - my single parent mum had to work so I had no option, we just got on with it. Life skills!

Had you given at any point permission for your daughter to be allowed to leave without you being there. It is common that the majority of year 5/6s exit my themselves but they need permission.

School should have phoned you, though I can understand how it fell through the cracks. Are you certain they didn’t, given you don’t sound particularly contactable?

But. I think you bear some responsibility here too - your daughter should have a phone/money and a plan for what to do if not picked up. What would have happened if you had an accident/flat tyre and were running late?

They should have phoned you. However, if you are allowing your daughter to do independent travel to school, she needs to have a phone and money on her every day, and be aware of back up plans in case of things changing or going wrong, all of which is something you should have put in place before allowing independent travel, so it’s on you also.

Definitely a safeguarding issue. I'm sure they will know that or there wouldn't be the request to acknowledge.

Yes she should have a phone but phones run out of battery etc. Tell her she's done nothing wrong but next time she should go to the school office and explain the problem.

and in future, yea I will make sure she has a phone with her to school.

Er if you don't get reception on your phone will she be able to contact you?

Does she know your work phone number?

When I started high school my mum sewed a £5 into my blazer. I couldn't get at it without ripping the lining but it was there for emergencies, maybe you could do something similar?

The school are crap though, telling her you knew, it is a safeguarding issue.

Yes this - the school is at fault and you should complain, but you should have a plan of what your daughter does if he unexpected happens.

YANBU, the school should always ring, not everyone can check their emails during the day time when they are working. They should have held on to her until they had got hold of you. They told her that you were aware of it, which you weren't.

I also think she should have a mobile now if she is walking part way on her own. You could get a basic text and talk if you don't want to get a smartphone, but when DD was that age I gave her my old iphone so that she could use the apps and so that I could track her on find my iphone etc.

As the email asks you to acknowledge that you have seen it, I would expect them to phone any one who didn't reply to them.

I totally agree - having been told that mum was coming, it would be very easy to wait so long that returning to school was no longer a sensible option.

I think the takeaway here is to identify some safe friends/shopkeepers/whoever that she can go to if that happens again. Phones are just a convenience, they are not infaliable. And yes, be furious with the school for setting her up like this.

Absolutely dreadful.

This is on the school 100%

Why doesn't your daughter have a phone?

Its annoying. But why didn't your DD tell the school there would be nobody to pick her up. Or walk back to school when you weren't there.

Why on earth should the parents have to contact the school every 'Tuesday' or whatever?! If there's 20 kids in each club and a club each night, that's 20 phone calls the reception has to handle every single sodding day!

@Incognitomum11 I'd be speaking to OFSTED about this particular issue

You have given permission for your daughter to leave school premises.

When you daughter realised the club wasnt on did she still leave the school? Did she say anything to the teachers?

She’s not Y7 and doesn’t use public transport to get home so I’m not sure of your point here .
When my 2 were Y6 they did walk off the school premises to meet me (too far to walk home) but they knew that if there was an issue that had to go back to school and wait in the office.
I would be pretty annoyed at the school about this OP

You have arranged pick up outside schools control. You need to make sure she has a way to contact you.