To not understand why parents hate their kids getting tattoos

[lailamaria]

Obviously this applies to adult children but it's something i've come across a lot and never really understood it, is it because parents feel some sort of ownership over their kids bodies or is it something different.

This isn't a brag or anything but my mum's never been bothered, she has 2 tattoos herself with extremely sentimental meaning (although i think people should get tattoos whether their sentimental or not) and for my sister's 18th she even paid for her to get one as her birthday present.

I understand not liking tattoos on yourself but demanding your adult children don't get them or even talk them out of getting them I think is rather rude when their paying for them themselves with their own money. My aunt used to ask my cousin to cover hers up just because she hated it (it was a flower on her back so it wasn't like the tattoo was offensive.)

I'm not trying to judge truly I personally just find it strange

My position is similar: I think the idea of doing something so permanent at a young age and expecting it to reflect your identity in perpetuity is just unwise.

I also think the vast majority of them look pretty naff. When they are thoughtfully chosen, personal and beautifully executed they can be really striking but most aren’t.

I wouldn’t be thrilled if my DD got one. I probably wouldn’t forbid it outright but I would do what I could to talk her out of it.

I dislike them because I think that nature gave us beautiful bodies and that adding pictures and words to them detracts from that natural beauty. i'm in my 60's and i'd also confirm that those people I now who have had them for many years don't look so good now, either because the changes to their bodies make the tattoos distorted or because the ink has faded. I'm lucky that my 2 sons feel the same as me on this issue.

I don’t think it’s as prevalent as people on here think. My friendship group (and me) is quite a gothic lot and none of us have any regrets about our tattoos

Cool. Good for you.

Plenty of people do regret them in later life. Surely, as an open-minded, alternative, unconstrained-by-societal-norms type, you have the capacity to understand that your experience may not be universal?

Because the people I know had them when they were early 20s and now feel differently at 40. 🤷🏻‍♀️ One has a tattoo of a ‘celeb’ that is now known to be a sex offender. Another one has a hand tattoo that he’s paying for removal but it’s taking ages. And a couple have their now ex partners names. 😬

Indeed but the way people are going on here, you’d think it’s 99% of tattooed people and that’s just not true.

I wouldn't care if dc wanted tattoos when they're older, but I would warn them they're harder to get rid of than you think! I have 3 tattoos, love two of them but am ambivalent towards the third (like the message still, but don't like the place on my body and it wasn't particularly well executed). I have spent the last two years getting laser tattoo removal and it's still there, just a little faded (which looks worse). I thought laser removal would be able to completely get rid of the tattoo, I was wrong.

Tattooing your partners name is generally considered a bad idea lol. I’d also say a tattoo of a celebrity is a bad idea too, so I suppose it really depends what tattoo they get. I have lots of witchy/Halloween stuff like spiderwebs, black cats and moons and then botanicals and florals. Some are on my hands/fingers. I love them.

Well, when I was grieving up, tattoos were deemed acceptable for ex military/navy. Otherwise frowned upon.

thrse days, I accept it that to others, it is a form of self expression and a form of art. As per a previous poster though, I don’t like the look of it and in my view is not nice to look at. Much like lots of body piercing too.

with that said, two of my children have discreet tattoos. It is their choice and as such, I have to respect that and I do. I don’t have to like it though.

Interestingly, when DS1 asked me if tattoos ever came off and I said “no, so you have to be really certain it’s why you want” and he said “oh no I don’t want any, I want to look normal!” 🤣 DD however is convinced she wants them and paints flowers on her skin “like mummy has”.

I feel like societal pressures/attitudes to tattoos are changing (although the responses on this do make me question this statement!) and once they widely accepted in workplaces etc they'll more than likely lose their appeal to youths, as they're no longer in any way "rebellious".
And I say this as a fairly tattooed, now mid 30s mother of 2 little ones, who considered herself "rebellious" and got fairly tattooed between the ages of 18-24. If my kids want them when they're older, I wouldn't try to convince them otherwise but would try to explain thinking them through thoroughly due to their permanence.

I feel as a parent it's my place to give sound advice to my children. And my advice is not to get a tattoo.

I have no feeelings about tattoos one way or the other, I do not have any myself, I'm nearly 60 but have always known that I am fickle, my tastes have changed with the wind over the years, I love fashion, love clothes etc, I have changed my style often over the years and have always thought that a tattoo would date me.( a bit like my name does, pure 60s child ) eg, a celtic band round the arm dates people to about mid 40s etc. My dd has inherited my love of clothes and has also changed styles over the years (goth, emo, now homemade hippy) and has followed me in not having one, she may do one day but as she is now in her 30s it has nothing to do with me

If you like them, that’s all that matters.

I’ve never seen a tattoo that I think looks good and along with knowing people that regret them, I’d encourage my kids to really think before they had one. I don’t know why people get offended that others don’t like tattoos. I don’t give fuck what anyone thinks of the choices I make and suggest others take that approach,

I don’t give a crap if people don’t like them, whenever someone’s said “I don’t like tattoos” to me I usually say “it’s a good job they’re on me and not you then!” It’s fine to not like someone’s tattoos.

But I think the narrative of “everyone regrets their tattoos” is a bit much and isn’t reflective of reality in my experience.

It’s the same way how all MNetters know women who regret NOT having children.

It’s that finger-wagging ”you will regret this” if someone doesn’t fall in line.

It makes them feel superior.

I can admire a skilfully done artistic tattoo. But in general I don’t think they look good - especially if they are so big, or there are so many, that they are the first thing you notice about someone. And when I see a young man (or woman) with a beautiful fit body and no tattoos (like most of the Welsh rugby team my research has revealed 🙂) I can’t help thinking “good for you”.

I didn’t say ‘everyone regrets their tattoos’ so.....🤷🏻‍♀️

I said that I know more people that regret them than don’t, and that’s true. Some people regret them, some don’t. But try not to get offended by something I didn’t say. If someone else here has said that ‘everyone’ regrets their tattoos, (has anyone said that?) then take it up with them.

I’m more on about how every post on this thread is “you’ll regret it”, not specifically just yours. My post that you quoted was a general comment on that. I’m not offended either, I just think it’s inaccurate.

hahaha I think this is how my mum feels! She was looking at my toddler DD the other day and said something like "your perfect little baby - now you understand why it's so upsetting when they get a tattoo".
I don't feel like that though about my DD tbh!

I got a beautiful bespoke tattoo, designed after several consultations with the artist, for my 50th birthday.
DD who was 20 came with me and got the same one
it’s only small and is not visible unless I’m in a bikini- I love it! 🌹

You all have some very strongly worded opinions about something that has literally no bearing on your life whatsoever.

But that is what AIBU is all about isn’t it?

What's rude is most of the words used to describe people with tattoos in this thread.

I’m more on about how every post on this thread is “you’ll regret it”, not specifically just yours. My post that you quoted was a general comment on that. I’m not offended either, I just think it’s inaccurate

It's your reading that is inaccurate. Nowhere near EVERY post on this thread is 'you'll regret it'. Please stop making things up.

You love your tattoos. All your friends love your tattoos. That's great, genuinely. But some people don't. I'm not sure why you find that so threatening.

I hate tattoos. But adult children own their own bodies so it is their decision.