To not want to have sex with my partner

[Grumpcat]

I've had enough! Me and dps sex life has gone cold turkey. The only times we ever have sex he attempts it by just shoving himself inside me and thrusting for a couple of minutes to then be done.

I've communicated with him on multiple occasions I do not like this because

A. I'm not in the mood. No foreplay and going straight to it hurts

B Its selfish and I gain no pleasure from it. So it's just all about him

C it makes me feel used and like a sex doll

He said he understood and would never do it again. Well after months of nothing and him agreeing he wants our sex life to be less one sided and more about me he has done it again!

Right after a lovely anniversary meal. He claims he "read the signs wrong" but I absolutely showed him no signs and regardless if he felt confused he knew I don't like sex in this way.

It's happened way too many times now to be a mistake.

I'm hurt and furious. We are meant to be moving into our new home and getting married. But I don't feel I can trust him sexually or even that I want to have sex with him anymore.

I know this isn't really an Aibu but I have no one to tell and I'm just so upset. We have been working so hard at our relationship and he goes and ruins it all by thinking with his d!ck and not considering me. I feel violated and disrespected.

This relationship is dead. You need to end it.

Please don't marry him he sounds so horrible. You could be happy with someone else who respects and values you.

Er.... wtf are you marrying him for? He can eff off to the far side of fuck and then eff off a bit further.

How old are you?

please please don’t marry this life

Erm yeah don’t marry him! There’s clearly an issue there!

He's awful. What does he say when you tell him his behaviour amounts to sexual assault at best?

I'm amazed at the number of men who are unable to take in basic information about sex with women that has been in the public domain for decades.

I think in the end you have to assume that men who are this bad at sex are just not very interested - they feel an itch they want to scratch, but they wouldn't see sex as an amazing way of spending time with your partner, a way of having intense pleasurable connection, as a hobby tbh.

Luckily there are a lot of men out there who do really like sex. Tbh I would listen to your feelings on this one.

Don't marry him whatever you do. Was he always like this? Or did he just put the effort in at the beginning and now he doesn't think he needs to bother?

You can't push water uphill.

Why are you marrying someone who you aren't sexually attracted to? You should be with someone who respects you and your feelings.

He is awful, selfish, disrespectful and he doesn’t care about you. He is a pig. He won’t change. The way he treats you will only get worse.

MN is full of unhappy women who are unhappy because they married selfish dickheads. Don’t be like them. Do not marry this man.

Please don't marry him! You can't put up with this for the rest of your life. You deserve so much more.

I don’t understand how this happened even once tbh. The first time a fella tried to put his dick in me without any foreplay he’d have gotten pushed away quick sharp. I’m shocked you’ve let him get away with it multiple times.

It sounds like you know he’s not right for you now at least. Get rid. Life’s too short for bad sex with selfish men.

Don’t pass go
Don’t marry him
Big red flag

I agree - don't marry him.

I'm confused about how it went from 'no signals' to penetrative thrusting sex. Did he force you? Because that's rape.

Or was it that he initiated sex, but went straight to PIV

What led to the lack of sex in the first place? Was it only due to him wanting sex in this way or are there other issues? I assume it was better at one stage?

Absolutely do not marry him. This sounds abusive and selfish.

Please don't marry him. He promised to change but hasn't, it won't get any better. His behaviour will end up conditioning your response to sex and make you hate it in the end, you will have to work really hard to undo that and have a decent sexual relationship with someone else. Nip it in the bud now.

Why are you still with him?

This sounds horrendous, really sorry to hear you've experienced this OP. Definitely don't marry him! You've told him something he does sexually hurts you and you don't like it, yet he carries on! If he cared about you he absolutely would not do this. I'm suprised he's even doing this; it's not rocket science that women need foreplay to prepare for pleasurable sex unless really horny

We was just lying in bed. I gave him a hand job and he finished. I said I was tired and made it clear I was doing it for him but not for sex.

I went to lie down and he put his penis between my legs (I sleep naked) and kept thrusting. I said no and wiggled away. He managed to get inside me so I lay there and let it happen and then went straight to sleep.

The next morning I felt repulsively disgusted and upset with him. I'm so angry this has happened again when it shouldn't even of happened once.

I told him I said no but his argument is I didn't say no when he was actively inside me.

I told him I told you I was tired and not in the slightest in the sexual mood.

He said he just assumed because we had a nice meal with romance in it that meant he could have a quickie without any romance in it and that would be okay.

If you marry him you will have shit sex for life. Exit now! You are worth more than this.

We have two dc. One is a baby. I'm just so devastated

That was rape. Get away from him as fast as you can.

I think you're right to feel wronged and violated, this sounds like marital rape. I'm sorry you've been through this. Just know it's not normal

That sounds like rape to me.
You need to leave him.