He's sulking because I pulled him up on leaving the baby to cry

[MiserableAsFuccck7]

Earlier this evening.

DD (3) had just had a bath, I was drying and plaiting her hair in the living room. It takes a bit of time due to her hair type and is fiddly. As I'm doing this.. baby DS (7 months) starts to cry. He's in the same room in his travel cot. He's teething and was overly tired so wouldnt settle. DH was trying to settle him by giving him his dummy, patting his bum etc - I'd already given him anbesol at this point.

DH says "oh come on DS I want to go for a cigarette"

DS still isn't settling. Crying.

DH says "I'm off for a fag" and just walks off leaving him to cry. Basically leaving it to me whilst I'm busy with DD.

I had to stop doing DD's hair, lost my place and went over to him. I put some white noise on my phone. He settles. White noise works well.

Now I admit I did huff after DH "Jesus you could have put on some white noise or something before walking off and leaving it to me when I'm in the middle of something, it only takes 20 seconds"

DH is now in a mood and sulking because I picked him up on it. He's acting as though I've had a massive go at him and he's done nothing wrong. I wasn't going to carry it on. I vented my frustration with the comment above and that was that, except now he's sulking.

I asked why he's sulking and he said "I didn't just walk off and leave him crying, I'd already left the room when he started crying again" which is an outright lie. He walked off when he was already crying.

Unfortunately the sulking is his go-to defence mechanism whenever somebody pulls him up on something. It may or may not be a neurodiversity thing (no dx but may well be on the spectrum)

So was I being unreasonable to be annoyed with him?

Leaving his baby to cry because he wants a fag. Nice.

His put his own wants in front of his baby’s needs. That’s what he did wrong.

My daughters husband smoked outside. Did all that. The child smelt of smoke. Now an Ex. House and child smell nice again.

*you have a leave a baby to cry for all sorts of reasons - to go the toilet, to get some food for yourself, to have a shower, to see to another child etc.

He had attempted all the usual ways of soothing baby and it hadn’t worked so maybe sometimes it is best to just leave the baby alone for a couple of minutes*

is giving 5 mins to a crying baby “attempting all the usual ways”? It’s lazy and shit parenting. Giving up comforting an upset baby after 5 mins to go and satiate an addiction is unbelievably crap parenting. It’s hardly the same as needing to wee desperately or whatever.

I wonder if he knows about the dangers of third hand smoke, even if he changes his clothes after every fag, it will still be in his hair.
www.healthychildren.org/English/health-issues/conditions/tobacco/Pages/How-Parents-Can-Prevent-Exposure-Thirdhand-Smoke.aspx

No, it isn't an autism thing. I'm autistic, as are many of my family members, and would never have left a baby to cry, particularly not when said baby was in distress because of pain, and especially not for something as trivial and non-urgent as a bloody cigarette.

He's just your common-or-garden selfish cunt.

OP the fact you mentioned SMOKING that's what a lot of people will fixate on now....He's a bloody pratt to walk off and leave you to deal with both chidren.