Doubts about taking this dog!?!?!

Somewhereinfragglerock · 12/06/2022 21:33

I don't think cold feet is normal most people would be excited. I think this is a sure sign you should rethink your decision. Better for all to back out now then once you've taken the puppy home.

StarDolphins · 12/06/2022 21:33

I wouldn’t have the puppy. It’s a lifelong commitment & you don’t sound like you’re fully committed. The dog needs 1 home forever. They invest love & trust in us and imo it’s cruel to already be premature g rehome g it. A puppy/dog isn’t a ‘try it & if not get rid’ kind of situation.

Riverlee · 12/06/2022 21:34

Having similar doubts myself (plus the cost!). Hoping it all will be worthwhile, as so many people say how much they love their dog. Hoping the breed we’ve chosen (Labrador) will be fine.

Sorry, not helpful.

Original poster

Mum2One23 · 12/06/2022 21:36

In all honesty I probably wouldn’t get rid of the dog once it’s actually here and a part of our lives it’s just starting to scare me a bit how much everything will actually change… I am excited in one part of me but the other is thinking am I really ready for this?!

OP posts:

MsVestibule · 12/06/2022 21:38

I wish I'd listened to my instincts and changed my mind about getting one. I love my dog (he's now 4) but god, what a tie he is. I thought it would be fine to leave him by himself while I was at work for a few hours but it's really but fair on the dog. Every time we go out for more than 4 hours we either have to pay for doggy daycare or ask a neighbour to let him out. Holidays, weekends away, all have to be dog centred or pay for boarding.

Will you have family support to look after it?

KangarooKenny · 12/06/2022 21:38

They are very tying. I wouldn’t get one just as you’re getting free.

WhatTheWhoTheWhatThe · 12/06/2022 21:39

I think it’s normal to have a wobble but I’m concerned that you’re even thinking “what if I have to get rid of it”. You shouldn’t get a puppy if your mind set is I can get rid of it if it doesn’t work out.

Ilikewinter · 12/06/2022 21:40

Well if you feel like this now be prepared for 'puppy blues', honestly its a thing!!
Mine kicked in after a week of no sleep, and being nipped to within an inch of my life....winterpup is now 13 months old and has firmly hit the teenage phase, hes a total knob at times 😂
What breed is your pup to be?

PestoPasghetti · 12/06/2022 21:41

Pull out now OP. If it even crosses your mind for a minute that you might one day 'get rid of it' dog ownership is not for you, in the way that parenthood is not for someone who contemplates putting their future child into the care system one day.

Dominuse · 12/06/2022 21:43

Mum2One23 · 12/06/2022 21:31

So due to collect a puppy in 2 days time and after months/years of research and waiting for the right time (we didn’t have a garden up until recently and didn’t feel it was fair to the dog) I am now getting VERY cold feet…

I’m starting to really worry about if I will cope with the demands of a young dog, what will happen if I don’t and have to get rid of it (?) and whether it’s worth turning my whole life upside down (finally at the stage where children are old enough to get some peace and quiet)…

Is this normal? Is it worth it?

I really didn’t expect to feel like this!

In your case Is it concerns you had already thought of and reasoned?

my dogs are hard work I leave at 7.30
and I’m up at 5 to walk them (my choice) - I go to work and kids head to school later- eldest comes back at lunch and I’m back early afternoon. But we have three - all related. And I would not be without them in fact I’d go so far as to say they saved my life. - excited yes, nervous yes but really totally committed is where you need to be.

in my case we wanted a lab and a certain type of lab from a certain line - I waited 3 years for him.

we went to see two litters in the mean time and I was taken with either set up. We had been to see one litter on the Monday and we weren’t 100% happy with the set up - on Tuesday morning got a call to say puppies had been born to the line of our then 3 year waiting list and 7 pups and we had the pick of the litter. We asked if we could visit that day and we did. Loved the set up and the wait was worth it. Went back 3 weeks later to choose puppy and at 4,5,6 and 7 weeks to get him. I had loads of dogs in the last but it had been a long wait.

Cherrysherbet · 12/06/2022 21:47

If you’re not absolutely sure, then don’t do it.

This little pup deserves a loving, forever family. It’s not a case of maybe having to ‘get rid of it’. That’s a terrible attitude to have when you’re having a dog join your family.

I don’t think you’re ready.

theemmadilemma · 12/06/2022 21:48

Pull out now. If you're just 'feeling free' of children, a puppy is going to set you back about 2 years from any level of freedom, and that's just to get them to adulthood. They remain a tie once all the training is done (it's never really done) and they've got through the teenage stage.

Festivecheer26 · 12/06/2022 21:53

Very normal - you will be fine 😊

I was very overwhelmed and worried before collecting our dog from the breeder - I’d never had a dog before, didn’t know what to expect and was terrified something would go wrong. She’s now 2 and my wee best friend.

It has been hard at times and has taken work to shape her into the dog she is now - the teething stage was the worst for me, nibbling my toes through my socks was a bit much - but it’s been 100% worth it, I’ve found it so rewarding.

There’s a lot of hate for dogs on this site but they really are special - try not to worry and enjoy your new pup! What breed are they?

Pinkdelight3 · 12/06/2022 21:58

Pull out now - I had to backpedal on a pet (not a puppy) after 24 hours when even despite being well into/researching etc, I realised swiftly it was a massive mistake. It was totally recoverable in our case and no harm was done, but if I'd had your feelings in advance I'd have acted on them and avoided the extra aggro and expense. And puppies are waaaaaay more of an adjustment than our sitch.

Redpriestandmozart · 12/06/2022 22:11

We have always had a very high-energy demanding breed, and when our last boy died we had a pup booked. We're in our early sixties, took cold feet and cancelled. It was the first time we didn't feel excited about a new pup and it felt wrong. We were very excited about researching the breeder, seeing the pups born, and selecting one but we talked it over with the breeder who was very understanding.

We went on to adopt two retired greyhounds which have been perfect for us. I have thought so often about what would have happened if we had gone ahead.

ChickpeaFlour · 12/06/2022 22:29

It was normal for me as I panic with any major change even when it’s one that is long-planned and wanted . As long as you’ve been sensible and it sounds you have with so much research , it is likely it will work out.
We waited until at home full time before took the plunge and researched a sensible breed (She’s been very easy to train and amazing in every way) and one we already knew from dog sitting , then learnt about health testing etc to make sure from a knowledgeable and caring breeder. We’ve loved every second of DDog but I do remember being scared when brought her home and for two or three days after. I love her so much and she’s brought unending joy to our family for the 4 years we’ve had her

Threeboysandadog · 12/06/2022 22:32

I’ve had dogs all my life and Labradors for the last fifteen years. I absolutely love dogs but our current one is very hard work and there have been times when I could see him far enough. I do love him dearly though and wouldn’t be without him. Think very carefully and be very sure before you take the puppy. A dog is a 15 year commitment. They bring so much to your family but they need a lot of time and attention. A bit like a baby really but not as portable.

Bananarama21 · 12/06/2022 22:40

I grew up around dogs so I never felt worried getting our puppy the thought never crossed my mind but they are big commitment and require alot of training. Do you feel ready.

USaYwHatNow · 12/06/2022 23:18

I think nerves are normal. Like new parent nerves, but actual cold feet 'wtf am I doing' is a bit of a red flag I think?

We had that when we'd had our girl about 3 months, the 'omg what have we done' sort of feeling but that swiftly goes away.

We have a nearly 3 Yr old staffie girl and she is the most gentle, softest, playful thing I've ever seen. She's hard work, in that she's very needy and wants attention alllll the time and that's exhausting, but my god I would kill for her.

I'm away from her for now on holiday and I cried and cried and cried dropping her off at the kennels. It's the longest I've been without her since we got her.

Even though she's a 'tie' bloody needy and constantly on the go I couldn't ever be without her now. Those few weeks of 'what have we done' have gone never to return. If I had had those doubts prior to getting her I may not have gone ahead.

Redissus · 12/06/2022 23:25

We got a puppy 2 years ago and have regretted it. Our kids are at Uni now and he has completely tied us down. He has been a really difficult dog too and came with issues we haven’t really resolved despite lots of training. We didn’t envisage it like this and although we love and care for him we wish we hadn’t got him.

Floralnomad · 12/06/2022 23:33

Don’t do it , if you are having these types of doubt before you even have the dog then I don’t think it’s for you .

WiddlinDiddlin · 12/06/2022 23:41

You've done your research, if this is a first pup.. honestly, yes its a bit scary, theres a lot of responsibility, a lot will change about your life...

Toss a coin.

Are you relieved or disappointed at the result?

If you're getting a pup from a good, reputable breeder, then the worst case scenario is.. pup goes back to breeder.

If you're NOT getting a pup from a breeder who insists on puppy coming back to them for whatever reason... then don't get the puppy, no one should be breeding who doesn't insist on taking back.

I spend a lot of time talking people through the decision to get a puppy and whether its right for them, it isn't right for everyone, which doesn't necessarily mean that having a dog at all isn't right.. just that the work involved with a puppy isn't what you want/need right now.

I would say, the best people have wobbles and worries - because they have the imagination and have done the research and know the enormity of what they're taking on.

The people who concern me... are those who have no concerns at all. They're the ones who end up shocked and in a right old mess, or with a dog who ends up suffering as a result!

Original poster

Mum2One23 · 12/06/2022 23:42

Part of the reason I now have doubts is some of the weird things the breeder has started doing - like strongly pushing on us to deliver the dog instead - and charging us for it when we were able to collect the dog and so on, and then starting to offer a second dog at a cheaper price so we had 2 but in a really pushy way when we explained we only wanted 1.

I’ve now raised these issues to the breeder as I truly believe all the messing around from them is what’s caused these other doubts to start up in my mind who is now refusing to give me any money back as they haven’t sold many puppies and not made much money back on them (their own words!) and I’m still welcome to collect the puppy (even though I told them I’m not 100% willing or wanting to anymore)

Do I stand a chance here?!

OP posts:

Squiff70 · 12/06/2022 23:45

I took on a rescue puppy at about 12 weeks old. He was a fucking nightmare and I didn't cope for a very long time. I grew to adore him and he was nearly 16 when he died.

Don't just ask yourself whether you can cope with a young dog. Ask yourself if you want the responsibility of a dog for potentially 16 years because that's the reality.

Dogs are, without question, wonderful and loyal companions. They are cute and funny and as long as you look after them properly, they will reward you with many years of joy. They can also be dirty and smelly and cost a bomb in insurance and/or vets bills. Who will look after your dog if you want a holiday or become unwell or injured and can't look after them, however temporary that might be.

If you're having doubts, it's probably good you listen to those doubts and ultimately make the right decision for your potential future dog as well as yourself.

WishILivedInThrushGreen · 12/06/2022 23:45

Freedom has been forsaken.
We got our beloved golden retriever when my husband retired.
We'd wanted , and researched for about three years once my husband worked from home ( pre Covid.)
Our dog is so loved and we hate leaving him when we go out.
We can only go out for four hours max, though
Otherwise it's 'off to the kennels.'
We're not keen on doing that

Think very carefully about your freedom before you get your puppy.

Be well prepared for the chewing!

Please don't chuck them in a crate all day!