to think that I can 'buy' good neighbours

[uis]

Ok so I think I am probably BU but let me set context. I also appreciate this thread might grate on a lot of people given the difficulties in getting on the property ladder but I post this with the humblest of intentions and appreciate how fortunate I am.

So I've been on MN for a long time and read a lot of neighbour dispute threads. Most of the nuisance neighbours seem to be druggies, on benefits and out of work or just not right in the head. We live in a detached house and had a set of bad neighbours who were renting (loud music in the garden, parking issues, drugs and we suspected dealing as well). Through us and neighbours persistently complaining to the landlord and development company, things improved after a few months and they moved out after 12 months anyway.

We're currently in the process of selling and have reserved a detached house in another new build development much further away. The houses around us are all detached and around the £600 - 680k mark and it got me thinking - we were worried about getting dodgy neighbours again but sort of assumed that being at this price range, we'd avoid really bad nuisance neighbours or that we'd get neighbours who would probably be more reasonable about things.

Is this a really bad assumption? Does anyone have any horror stories about neighbours despite living in a nice affluent area or area with relatively high house prices? I know minor parking disputes are fairly commonplace regardless of where you are but any major issues anyone has experienced? I guess had we not had issues ourselves, we might never had considered it. Thanks in advance for any responses!

We used to live next door to a crack house when we were living in a squat on the Kilburn High Road. The inhabitants were actually pretty decent. We now have a tetchy, litigious pair of neurosurgeons.

Bollocks - yes absolutely.
My previous neighbours were on benefit because sorts of reasons, some own house, some are renting from housing association but so what? They are lovely and FANTASTIC pp.
They never hesitate offering help, they sometimes were too nosy but I felt so welcomed to be in neighbourhood.
My current neighbour in "affluent area", the husband has his own IT company and wife is an NHS nurse. I thought they were decent pp but turned out true "fuc basta". Ive never met such a self centered, arrogant racist (they are from Portugal and I'm Asian) in my life.

Having a good neighbour is not because you are loaded or whatever. Just down to luck.

Money certainly can't buy you NICE neighbors. I have met charming, beautifully-mannered homeless people, and I've known privately-educated lawyers who were ignorant, vulgar and rude. Money doesn't guarantee your neighbors will be civilized or reasonable. That said, it probably does reduce your chances of ending up near vicious/feral chavs.

Problem is, this is 2022, not 1952. The old class system has gone. In the 1950s, it was generally professionals who lived in the nice areas (GPs, barristers, university lecturers, retired army officers, etc). And middle class life was governed by codes of behavior/ ritualized manners. People in those sorts of areas behaved well not because they were nice, but because they didn't want to be thought of as 'common'.

That's pretty much gone. British society is much more diverse and complex today. Since the Thatcher revolution, pretty much anyone can make money and 'get on'. But money is just money. It says nothing about someone's manners or 'class'. It sure as hell doesn't mean they are civilized and polite. In fact, self-made millionaires are often vile. You don't make money by being nice! You make money by being pushy, aggressive and greedy.

Also, it's often people from the violent/dysfunctional backgrounds who end up in the nice houses. They grow up poor and rough, bitterly resent it, and so devote their life to escaping (often in dodgy and ruthless ways). The absolute worst kid in our school, a boy who was basically feral, is now a millionaire and has just enrolled his child in the most expensive private school in town! God knows how he made his money. I'm sure he's not unusual.

On the other hand, I can think of numerous lovely people who now live in social housing. One girl was the granddaughter of two Oxford graduates. But she suffered from agoraphobia and panic attacks, largely due to PTSD, which left her unable to work.

In my experience, education is more important than money. If I could choose between a council estate where everyone had an MA or PhD, and a private estate filled with ignorant, Sun-reading, self-made millionaires, I'd opt for the council estate.

🤣 the most expensive house near ours is owned by known drug dealers. Thankfully they are far enough from ours so not bothered by their parties.

Nothing's guaranteed.

Someone I know is a functioning alcoholic (by her own admission), regularly takes cocaine and smokes and grows weed. She has crowds of people round on any weekend that she isn't actually away, and loud music, drunken shrieking, arguments etc go on until dawn fairly regularly. Now she's retired, this activity goes on on weeknights, as well.

She lives in a large detached bungalow, on a big plot, with an annexe in the garden, on the edge of a very pretty village on the Sussex coast. It must worth well in excess of £1m. And she has that MN favourite - a hot tub.

I'd rather live on the council estate a mile away than within 3 miles of her house.

Money doesn't buy class.

No, people with money can be twats too. We bought a house in a group of just three, one being a massive old manor house type with land. After having crap neighbours before, we staked out the area at various times of day, all very quiet. We knocked at the other house, a small cottage, before purchase, guy was very nice, said the other neighbours were both doctors, middle aged, and very nice. They turned out to be utter twats (and had been on holiday at the time of our stakeouts) - 2 dogs left outside in a cage ALL DAY every day, barking at every fecking gust of wind, they denied it absolutely, as of course the fecking things shut up when someone was home. They refused to come over and listen before going home. There were other things too so despite their profession and obvious money, still selfish and horrible neighbours. It's all down to luck - you could buy a house with the nicest neighbours next door, and a week later they could sell up. The best thing to 'buy' is a house with no neighbours at all.

How ridiculous! People are people - and you will find the richer they are the more entitled. I live in one of the most expensive post codes in the country, some great neighbours, some d**ks. Imagine that is the same whether you are in a council/ housing association home or £20 million quid home.

How snobbey you seem though......I feel sorry for your neighbours!

Most of these replies are ‘what a snobby thread, I actually live in a house worth much more than that ….’ 🙄😂

Yep - as I've moved up the housing ladder (now in my late 50s) into better areas, the neighbours have actually become worse. Entitlement doesn't begin to cover our current neighbours who are compete nobs.

I know this is an old thread - but while you can’t buy better neighbours you can buy space so the neighbours are further away!

You'll be free of people on benefits....just have the drug dealers instead. (Don't worry, they'll more than likely be the high end gangster types)
Oh, and the hooray Henry kids who throw wild parties whilst mummy and daddy are away at the summer lodgings

Not RTFT but rich people can be as obnoxious and rude as poor people. They may not do weed in their garden (maybe they do cocaine inside!) but they may well have screechy kids, trampolines, garden cinemas, bars and barky dogs.

Ha haha. Rude awakening on its way OP. People are people regardless ofdisposable income. Good luck although you might want to mind your own manners when you meet your new neighbours. It will probably help.

Bollocks can you. Until quite recently I lived in a very mixed area on the edge of the city centre.

One set of neighbours were raided by armed police. Another liked the regale me with tales of his time in prison.

The neighbours who gave me the most grief? The entitled middle class CF upstairs neighbours, clearly used to getting their own way. At one point they told me I couldn't park on my own driveway because they wanted to dig it up and turn it into flowerbeds (lol, no).

DSS's mother owns a £1m+ detached house in a very desirable road, in a "good" area.

She is a functioning alcoholic who has loads of people round every weekend, partying most of the night most weekends. When weather permits, they drink and play loud music in the garden, and she has a hot tub. When asked to keep the noise down, she tells the neighbours to fuck off.

MIL lives on a council estate in Croydon. She never hears any noise from her neighbours, who all seem very pleasant.