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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to think that I can 'buy' good neighbours

217 replies

uis · 11/06/2022 17:45

Ok so I think I am probably BU but let me set context. I also appreciate this thread might grate on a lot of people given the difficulties in getting on the property ladder but I post this with the humblest of intentions and appreciate how fortunate I am.

So I've been on MN for a long time and read a lot of neighbour dispute threads. Most of the nuisance neighbours seem to be druggies, on benefits and out of work or just not right in the head. We live in a detached house and had a set of bad neighbours who were renting (loud music in the garden, parking issues, drugs and we suspected dealing as well). Through us and neighbours persistently complaining to the landlord and development company, things improved after a few months and they moved out after 12 months anyway.

We're currently in the process of selling and have reserved a detached house in another new build development much further away. The houses around us are all detached and around the £600 - 680k mark and it got me thinking - we were worried about getting dodgy neighbours again but sort of assumed that being at this price range, we'd avoid really bad nuisance neighbours or that we'd get neighbours who would probably be more reasonable about things.

Is this a really bad assumption? Does anyone have any horror stories about neighbours despite living in a nice affluent area or area with relatively high house prices? I know minor parking disputes are fairly commonplace regardless of where you are but any major issues anyone has experienced? I guess had we not had issues ourselves, we might never had considered it. Thanks in advance for any responses!

OP posts:
antelopevalley · 11/06/2022 19:29

I also know someone through work in a £600k house who regularly has her music blaring. She bought outdoor speakers so she could sit in the garden and have her music blaring loudly.

Crimeismymiddlename · 11/06/2022 19:30

Good neighbours are pure luck.

blebbleb · 11/06/2022 19:31

It doesn't matter how much you spend on a house. You could be unlucky and live next to an arsehole. We live in an ex council house in a cheaper area of London and have never had trouble with neighbours. You're being quite elitist, lots of wealthy people are horrible, the same as poorer people.

Hawkins001 · 11/06/2022 19:31

I think on balance, id prefer upper class neighbours

ChitChatChatter · 11/06/2022 19:38

We lived happily on various council estates when I was a child but I had to move from my previous home of 20+ years in a ‘naice’ area when my neighbour moved a new partner in. He was the most aggressive, noisy, selfish bully I’ve ever come across and made my and my other neighbours lives a total misery. As others have said, money doesn’t necessarily buy class.

Sparro · 11/06/2022 19:38

Is this a really bad assumption?

Yes.

Zoeslatesttrope · 11/06/2022 19:41

Mellowyellow222 · 11/06/2022 18:32

I will be honest and say as I have moved up the property ladder the problems with neighbours have reduced.

first home an apartment - lots of rented neighbours. All quite young. Problems were parties and one offs. A few drunken fights and had to call the police once.

next ring on the ladder was a smaller house in lower priced neighbourhood. Problems every summer with loud music in gardens - couldn’t really use garden because of noise. Small gardens so could hear about 10 families shouting, swearing, playing loud dance music etc etc.

now in a much more affluent area. Noise in garden is children playing - trampolines and swings squeaking and kids laughing and shouting. Lovely background noise🥰.

I think the difference for me isn’t how rich the people are - it’s their ages and life stages (the people here tend to be older). Also the more expensive the house, the bigger the gardens and the more space. So you just don’t hear as much.

I'd prefer the sound of swearing to the sound of squeaking trampolines tbf...

MajorCarolDanvers · 11/06/2022 19:48

I live in a very affluent area. And I have awful NDN (a thread in itself) and across the back another neighbour is constructing a monstrosity of chalet in their garden.

Money is no guarantee of manners, consideration or good behaviour.

Roarsomemore · 11/06/2022 19:49

@Zoeslatesttrope good point. One man's heaven is another man's hell. Got me thinking about what I would class as nightmare neighbours...

PeachCottonTree · 11/06/2022 19:49

Definitely a bad assumption. A relative has recently moved into a luxury new build estate with very expensive houses in the same price region you’re talking about. One of the neighbours have the biggest house type and three kids who they let run riot with zero parenting. The kids are incredibly loud (screaming and shouting at ridiculous levels) and they’ve broken the fence that borders the show home in 9 places. The parents have made no attempt to fix it as progressively more damage is done. We live in a much, much poorer area and it’s lovely and quiet all year around. Not everyone with money is considerate of others.

kittensinthekitchen · 11/06/2022 19:50

Ah "Drug dealers are fine, as long as they're not on my street"

Kris02 · 11/06/2022 19:51

To be fair, I can understand the OP's fears. Nightmare neighbours ruin lives. And it makes me so *ing angry I can hardly talk about it. I am not exaggerating when I say that I've known two people (opposite ends of the country) driven to suicide attempts by the subhuman chavs next door. All over Britain there are good people who love their kids, work hard and do the right thing, but whose lives are ruined by these aseholes.

As for whether money can buy you freedom, well, maybe. It probably reduces your chances of living near the feral, hoodie type. But nothing guarantees escape. Unfortunately, the housing association can move a problem family anywhere. I knew a cancer surgeon who lived in a big detached house in the best part of town. The housing association got hold of another big house near him and turned it into flats. Within weeks, there were fights at 3 in the morning, dogs barking all night, cars with modified engines screaming and banging up and down the road. Awful. After a year or two of ruining everyone's lives, there was a fire and someone died. After that, the place was closed down.

Equally, you could move to the absolute worst estate in Britain, with the highest crime and drug rates, and somewhere on that estate you'll find lovely, kind, good people. Truth is, you'll find lovely people selling the Big Issue and sleeping in shop doorways.

I'm not wealthy, but we're lucky to be in a fairly quiet street out in the countryside. And yet as I type all I can hear is the screaming of car engines and the popping and banging of modified exhausts. You can't escape horrible, selfish, anti-social people anywhere.

There really ought to be open prisons for them to live in. The left seem to think money solves everything, that all you need to do is move them into nice neighbourhoods (so the poor little sweeties don't feel ''excluded'' and ''marginalized''), provide nice schools and pay out generous benefits and everything will be hunky dory. We all know it won't. Both the right and the left have failed to deal with anti-social behavior. I don't blame them. There's just nothing you can do with the worst sorts of people, other than stop them breeding. People with a history of violence and misconduct, who've got a track record of disruption and abuse, should be forced to live together with some kind of warden watching over them. If it was up to me, I'd also pay them not to produce children. And before someone calls me a snob, don't forget that their main victims are decent people on low incomes.

megletthesecond · 11/06/2022 19:52

If you can afford a detached house with a driveway that should eliminate some problems.

I live in the cheapest place I've lived, ex council and mix of housing association / private rental/ owned. And its a nightmare. Flytipping, drug dealers (one in prison though), no one brings their bins in or mostly takes care of anything. I PassAgg litter pick and seed bomb the place just to try and make it less awful.

GiltEdges · 11/06/2022 19:56

My honest opinion is... you'll find arseholes in all classes and levels of affluence. Getting good or bad neighbours is just luck of the draw 🤷🏼‍♀️

MiniDinosaur · 11/06/2022 19:58

My neighbour causes a racket revving his Lamborghini at all hours 😂

Hallyup89 · 11/06/2022 19:58

With that attitude, you'd be the neighbour I'd be avoiding tbh.

Ireolu · 11/06/2022 20:00

Semi on our street sold for 775. Our neighbours r horrible. People r people some r nice others not so much.

Spaceprincess · 11/06/2022 20:02

I live in a beautiful Yorkshire Dales village, its full on James Herriot holiday cottage place.
I have a 2 bed back to back terrace. It's a 230k house cos area.
I'm not posh, I'm from round here.
Next door is 500k house as its two back to backs knocked into one
It's 4 bed 3 bath home with big gardens.

They have 5 dogs that bark 24/7 and both gardens are pliled with dog poo.

They scream and shout at each other and their teenage kids, swearing and threatening to hurt each other and the kids.
Dd 19 knows the oldest one vaguely, he didn't realise they were neighbours and told her all about it. Scared of his alcoholic mum, wants to run away with his sister who is 14.
I have rung the police loads of times, as have other neighbours and also rung their DDs school and police and social services after being woken up at midnight with her screaming that she's going to Fing kill DD for coming into her room, child begging mum to stop.
They are awful and well known in the village.
So yeh, anyone can be a cunt.

Meatshake · 11/06/2022 20:05

My house recently got valued at £750k, detached house in a naice private road with an active residents association. The epitome of suburbia. Except... The house next door got turned into a HMO last year. Money doesn't guarantee anything unless you're talking about owning a massive estate with a lot of space between you and your nearest neighbour!

Ropesdope · 11/06/2022 20:08

I’ve found the higher the price range the better the chance of more reasonable neighbours. If you do your homework you can find estates that were built in the 70’s/80’s and most of the people in them are now in their 60’s/70’s and the kids have flown the nest. They also have wider roads and bigger gardens. In my mums street there have only been 2 houses for sale in the last 20 years. If you buy a new build then it’s a bit of a lottery still! Money can still = problem neighbours.

NotMushroomInEre · 11/06/2022 20:09

Unless you buy a remote plot of land and build your own home, I'm afraid this is just a gamble really. Some people are nice, some aren't, regardless of wealth.

Redkatagain · 11/06/2022 20:10

We are buying a house for a similar amount.

We have decided that as the first sign of difficult neighbours, we will pretend to be suburban satanists.

We will be subtle

CatLadyDrinksGin · 11/06/2022 20:17

Nope- naice houses here, police called as one neighbour threatened to kill another over their £130k mobile home! Plus fights in the street at 1am.

hshbjamo · 11/06/2022 20:18

You do realise a lot of new build houses are housing associations. So you could literally live next door or on the same street as people who are on benefits etc. Not that it even matters. You can be a nuisance neighbour whether you are rich or poor. Money doesn't determine whether you're a nasty person or not or whether you'll be a good neighbour or not.

NotMushroomInEre · 11/06/2022 20:18

Well, when I say it is a gamble, that isn't strictly true. If you have time you can check out the neighbourhood at different times of the day. It doesn't stop a great neighbour selling up to a shit one in the future though.