My friend has my baby's photo on his phone screen

[PinkCheetah]

Am I the only one that thinks it's strange? We went to his BBQ party last night. When we arrived and got sat down this friend excitedly showed me DD's photo I had shared on a WhatsApp group, on his phone's Lock Screen.

I thought it were weird as people are going to see it and think that's his child, no? I asked for my DH's opinion and he didn't see the problem, in fact he thought it was sweet of him!

For context, this friend is gay and married to his husband. Very broody and wants kids via IVF/adoption in the next couple of years.

I just thought people put their own kids on their phone screen. AIBU? I'm willing to be told otherwise!

It's unusual yes but I think it's sweet, he wants kids of his own and seeing this pic makes him feel happy.

5 x in 2 months is a lot to me, he obviously cares about you and your baby - I think it's quite sweet really.

Its lovely and not weird at all. He's a close friend and he loves you and by default your child. I think those those that think its weird are the weird ones!

It wouldn't bother me in the slightest. I think it's lovely. I know nieces and nephews are family, so perhaps viewed differently, but I had a photo of my niece on my phone and I had only seen her once by the time she was two. So your friend has more contact with your child than that, even though he isn't related her. Incidentally, once I had children of my own, my niece's photo disappeared into the gallery with all the other photos! But it was lovely to feel that connection with a child, especially since I was broody myself.

Why ?

It’s not strange, given his circumstances - In particular that he wants a baby

A bit odd, but seems to come from being broody rather than anything more sinister.

I do think it's a bit odd given the level of closeness he has with your DD. I would take it as a sign he's very consumed by his broodiness at the moment, assuming you trust him as a person.

When I was super broody, had had a loss and was struggling with fertility issues, my photo was a split screen of my with each of my best friends’ children. I wasn’t trying to pass them off as mine (and we are different races so they didnt look like my biological children!) but my connection to those children was so important to me at that time, and it made me happy when I looked at my phone. To be honest, it might have been weird but I was in such a bad mental place and it didnt hurt anyone 🤷🏽‍♀️

Wants kids via IVF? You mean he wants to employ a surrogate, don't you?

@Johnnysgirl yes via surrogacy obvs but that would involve IVF anyway, sorry I thought that was clear!

OK so the general consensus is that it's not weird, and only the minority thinking it's weird. That's fine! I was willing to be wrong on this issue anyway. it's just not something I've experienced as for me I'd only keep photos of my daughter on my phone and no one else's kid, and I'm not one to change the photo often maybe twice a year. It wasn't a battle I was willing to fight anyway and he is a good friend so wouldn't want to do anything to upset the relationship. Yes he is like a special uncle lol.

Completely agree. In the context, very sweet and shows how much he cares.

If it were a work colleague = very creepy.

He sounds excited for you/to be involved in your DC's life and also broody!

I think it's lovely, it shows how much you and your DD mean to him

It was clear, but why not call it what it is? They want to hire a woman's body, not "have ivf".

@PinkCheetah you were entirely clear. That poster just has an anti-surrogacy axe to grind. Ignore and keep moving. :)

He’s seen her 5x in two months and is a long term friend? I think it is sweet. Don’t overthink it

Imaginary. Seriously. Are men not allowed to a knowledge children now, or are you just homophobic

Not odd at all. Quite sweet in fact. If he’s a long term, close friend then you obviously mean a lot to each other and your LO is an extension of that friendship. He is obviously very proud and it wouldn’t concern me in the slightest. A lot of people lose their friends when they have children, it’s a blessing that you have one that is there, has taken time to visit your LO a handful of times in the short space of time since they have been born and clearly loves them a lot :-)

Good friend and broody finds your baby sweet? Nah no problem with that.

Weird. I wouldn’t think of having my nephew as my screensaver much less someone else’s kid

Not weird in the slightest.

My childless gay friend and childless sister have loads of photos of kids not their own, including mine.

It's sweet and lovely and shows they care.

*phone

I think it's really sweet, I would be flattered if a friend thought that much of my baby. 5 meetings in 2 months is a lot more than most blood relatives!!!!!