Challenging racism - did I do enough? AIBU to take it further?

[Cma1988]

Im mixed-race (black-white) (relevant to the story) and I’m currently away at a residential course.

This morning one lady on the course left suddenly, we don’t know the reason, I guess something personal, and this lady is black (again, only mentioning as it’s relevant.

This evening few of us were playing cards in the lounge this evening, and I don’t even know how it even came about in conversation as I was only half-listening at this point, but one guy, (who is white South African) made a comment about the basement (we are staying in an old manor type house) and then he said “maybe that’s where Jane went,, mind you she’ll have to smile so you could see her”. There was a awkward silence and then another lady who doesn’t have English as her first language asked him what he meant, and he then explained his “joke” saying you know, you can’t see black people in the dark, only their teeth and then laughed again. I was in total shock that he could say something so horrendously racist - and worse - in front of me - as if he was saying a completely normal comment.
I challenged him saying “that’s not funny and it’s actually really racist and I can’t believe you just said that. He then went in to defend himself and justify himself saying that it was a joke, that he grew up in South Africa where he had black friends and they made that joke all the time and apparently his black friends used to make the joke too and he just brushed it off and carried on shuffling the cards. I then told him again that I was very upset by his joke and that He had shown his true colours because if he had made that joke in front of me, what would he be saying behind my (or any other person of colours) back. He then gave a poor excuse for an apology, he said sorry, but backed his sorry with more defending himself and I left and went to bed.

I’m now stewing with anger in bed, thinking I didn’t challenge him enough and feeling really hurt by his casual racism. I’m wondering if I should just leave it now, or if I should take it up again tomorrow either with him or with the course leaders? We are here together until Saturday but we will be joining together again in a few weeks for part 2 of the course and I feel that maybe he should be formally spoken to? Or am I overreacting? I really want to make a formal complaint about him. AIBU?

*hmm..so I suppose, 'You can't see blacks in the dark, only their teeth' (laugh), or 'Jane went in the basement, mind you, she'll have to smile so you can see her'.

Is that the simply factual part? and would this be joke/statement*

i assumed it's derives from the racist joke -how do you hide a black man in a coal shed? Knock his teeth out.

BTW I am not telling that out of mirth or because I'm racist but I assume that's where his comment came from.

I do not agree with what 1000yellowdaisies said and I think the OP is justified in making a complaint.

However, I dislike very much your response here with its implication that anyone who holds an opinion different to yours, or to the majority, is not welcome to take part in the discussion or that their viewpoint is worthless just because you disagree with it.

Thanks all; just to update, I did report it this morning and he was taken into the office when they had a meeting with him. This afternoon he came over to me and apologised. It felt a bit like a forced apology if I’m honest, I guess they must have told him to do it. He is still here so they haven’t sent him home but he has been very quiet and said very very little at meals and this evening. Apparently another one of the group who was also there last night had a strong word with him after I left last night, (which I found strange as she said nothing while I was there) We go home tomorrow morning and I’m hoping I won’t see him in a couple months for the next stage, but if I do, maybe he may have been forced to address his ugly views by then.

just to clarify, he is South African born but has lived here for 10 years, so he really should know that such jokes are not acceptable over here (not that they should be accepted anywhere!).

Thanks for updating. You did what you could. Personally I think the course people could have handled it better.

As a South African he should be hypersensitive to issues of race given the history of that country.

He doesn't see racism in the same way as we do in the UK.

Well he needs to learn then, doesn't he?