This is the second time I've written this (lost the first one) so I'll try and keep it to the point.
I've been a SAHM to my DC for the past 4 years. My youngest is starting school in September so I would have gone back to work then but an opportunity presented itself about 3 months ago that seemed to good to be true.
I've ruined my life for the sake of this job. I'm sworn and shouted at. Spoken down to and unsupported. Haven't been given proper guidance or training. Each piece of feedback conflicts with the last so nothing makes sense. Today I have a catch-up and every single point was negative. I'm not perfect but I know my work is good. I feel like I'm being sabotaged by my manager but I have no idea why as she chose to hire me.
This sounds ridiculous but she's 'joked' that she wanted to throw acid at me on several occasions (prompted by an office discussion about something on the telly). My mental health is on the floor but if I leave without a new job to go to it will destroy us financially.
I was poorly over the weekend and caught myself daydreaming about how nice it would be to be hospitalised so I wouldn't have to go to work. I would never harm myself in reality but that's how bad things are. I don't know what I'm asking for really. I just needed to vent because I feel so lost.