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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Hairdressers or Barbers for teen son's haircut?

88 replies

magicaldaytime · 09/06/2022 23:01

My husband wants our son (13 years old) to go to his barbers for his haircuts from now on but I think he should keep going to my hairdressers because she knows how to do it properly.

Who's right here because we've had a row/argument about it? What do your teen son's do?

My son's hair is slightly longer than most boys hair so that's also another reason why I think My hairdresser should keep on doing it. That being said I might try to have a conversation (last time my husband just came up to me and said that he was going to the barbers next time and when I tried to have a calm conversation with him he just started shouting and arguing) with my husband and see if he thinks his barber would have a good grasp of his longer hair

OP posts:
hangrylady · 10/06/2022 07:57

It really doesn't matter. However rest assured that your sons hair isn't so unique that it will baffle a barber.

AuntieStella · 10/06/2022 07:58

If he doesn't mind, then just leave him alone until he does actually want a haircut, and then tell him to choose.

I think you and DH are both being ridiculous (but so appreciate that stuff like this does come up and can get a life of its own.

dementedpixie · 10/06/2022 07:58

My ds (age 15) goes to my hairdresser as he has long hair too. When I used to take him to the barbers they just want to cut it all off as they don't know how to cut longer hair. Barbering is a different course from hairdressing.

WhoopItUp · 10/06/2022 07:58

Barbers are just as well qualified as hairdressers. Let your son try the barber and then he can make an informed decision about where he wants to go.

ThreeonaHill · 10/06/2022 07:58

Jesus wept.

The boy's 13 yo and doesn't have an opinion because he knows whichever he has will be wrong for one of his parents. What are you doing to him?! Why do either of you care so much about his hair/appearqnce?!

Leave him be and when he wants a haircut he can take himself to whichever place he wants.

Pashazade · 10/06/2022 07:59

I've recently started taking my son to my salon because his barber said he could no longer do a good cut because he didn't have enough expertise with hair that length. So really I think it comes down to the individual barber. Perhaps worth asking where your husband usually goes if they would be happy doing this. My son is also adamant about keeping the length of his hair, which is fine by me, but I obviously emphasis that he has to look after it. At my salon my hairdresser is male as is the owner and it is a very neutral kind of place. Hair is straight but shoulder length.

dementedpixie · 10/06/2022 08:01

I took my ds to the barbers a few times but invariably they just wanted to cut his fringe off and cut the rest very short and he ended up upset on several occasions. He is 15 and happy enough to go to my hairdresser as she cuts it how he likes it.

Justkeeppedaling · 10/06/2022 08:10

magicaldaytime · 09/06/2022 23:08

I think DH’s problem is more that he doesn’t want to see DS go to a Salon as DH thinks it’s girly etc

I'm DH. It's kind of a rite of passage for a dad to take his son to the barbers isn't it?

How much longer are you expecting your son to use your hairdressers? 🙄

dementedpixie · 10/06/2022 08:18

Justkeeppedaling · 10/06/2022 08:10

I'm DH. It's kind of a rite of passage for a dad to take his son to the barbers isn't it?

How much longer are you expecting your son to use your hairdressers? 🙄

Really?
It used to be me that took ds as dh would be at work. When they starting chopping off more hair than ds wanted we switched to the hairdresser and she cuts it how he likes it. He is 15 and I don't see him changing to the barber any time soon

MarinoRoyale · 10/06/2022 08:19

You’ve actually had a row with your partner about where to get a 13 year olds hair cut? Thats bonkers!

How can your son know which he prefers if you’re not letting him try the barber? The solution seems obvious……

gingercat02 · 10/06/2022 08:20

DS has always gone to the barber's, one near school. I took him when he was small. He goes on his own now straight after school.

I never took him to my hairdresser because they are more expensive and more importantly I love going to have my haircut, been going to the same stylist for a long time (pre us both having dc) so we have a good goss

dementedpixie · 10/06/2022 08:22

I'd probably let him try the barbers and see how it goes. He might have a good experience or it might end up with him getting all his hair chopped off like they did with my ds. If your ds isn't bothered there's no harm in him going. At least hair grows back

WouldBeGood · 10/06/2022 08:24

The weirdest thing about this is the level of parental involvement.

i merely facilitate DS 13 getting to the barber.

is it more that you worry he will get his hair short?

SteakExpectations · 10/06/2022 08:27

I have DS14. He used to go to the barber, I’d drop him off and meet him afterwards. However, as he’s now in full teenage mode and refused to get his hair cut for a year, o now take him to my hairdressers and he gets a wash as well as the cut. I book us both in for the same time and so far it’s working really well.

WhiskerPatrol · 10/06/2022 08:29

Barber. I think it's a nice thing for boys to do with their dads. Also with teens, anything that involves a walk or a car journey is a good opportunity to talk!

maddy68 · 10/06/2022 08:34

Barbers but ask your son!

cupofdecaf · 10/06/2022 08:34

I took my 18 month old to the barbers for his first hair cut. His older brother (3) goes there as well. We did used to take them to a proper kids hairdressers but firstly it was expensive and secondly I didn't think they were doing a very good job. We moved area so we took the chance to start using a barbers. Cheaper and easier.
At his age I'd tell him he can have x amount of money, get his hair cut wherever he wants. If he goes to the barbers he gets to keep the rest. At some point he'll have to sort such things out for himself.

cupofdecaf · 10/06/2022 08:37

You ask how much cheaper- our barbers is £8 for kids so possibly a bit more for an adult. My hair dressers for a cut not the colour is 40-50 for me.
How much does your sons cost at the hairdressers?

Ginisatonic · 10/06/2022 08:38

Sounds like your husband thinks going to the hairdresser is, as you say, too ‘girly’. Or he doesn’t like your son’s haircut and wants it cut differently.
Either way I’d be pissed off at him shouting at me over it. But I’d agree to your son going with him. If he comes back with a short back and sides you’ll have your answer and your son will either embrace his new look or refuse to go back.

Bitwornout · 10/06/2022 08:41

Your poor DS is probably saying he didn't mind because he knows you and his dad are having a row about it. My DS has been going to the barbers since he was 8. It's really good to teach boys about self care and going to the barbers is part of that. The whole hot towel, shaving, ear waxing, massage thing going on with other men there is really good for boys to understand that men are allowed to have a bit of me time as well. There are some amazing barbers out there - it's not like it used to be with short back and sides and something for the weekend.

edwinbear · 10/06/2022 08:42

12yr old DS has always gone to the barbers, DH takes him usually but I have occasionally when DH has been busy. You see all sorts of different hair styles being cut. It costs £10 and at his age, I have zero involvement other than handing over the £10 at the end. DS is more than capable of explaining to the barber how he'd like his hair cut and I think he'd feel a bit out of place in a hairdressers (rightly or wrongly).

Hoppinggreen · 10/06/2022 08:43

DS is 13 and loves going to the Barber, which is actually just a men’s hairdressers.
He enjoys the chat and the atmosphere and it makes him feel a bit grown up I think

Slampunk · 10/06/2022 08:51

Erm....

either, or both, or neither. My son goes to a Turkish barber at 15 and they do a better job than my hairdresser.

DilemmaDelilah · 10/06/2022 09:00

As your son is 13 he may choose to change his hairstyle anyway. Barber is cheaper, I go to a barber to have my (short) hair done.

lookingsusbro · 10/06/2022 09:14

Both my boys have always gone to the barbers and the youngest has very curly hair, 3c same as mine. The most involvement I've had in either of their hair since they were about 6 is transporting them and paying. My ds's have told the barber what they want for their hair and I've left them to it as long as its within svhool rules.

During covid I couldn't get a barbers appointment but could have got one at the hairdressers but my 13yo ds said he'd rather shave his head himself than go to the hairdresser.

Let your ds try the barbers, worst case is they cut it too short and he has to grow it back which shouldn't take long if its only slightly longer than most boys.