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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I’ve got a roof box off free cycle. Husband has gone mad!

284 replies

VWCJW · 09/06/2022 22:02

Every holiday, my husband prides himself on taking hardly anything to a self catering holiday, and gets really stressed by me and my daughter taking a normal amount of clothes. He moans that it all won’t fit in the car and our kids sit with loads of stuff by their feet and piled up between them. This year, we have a long journey through France and our kids are getting taller so I got a roof box and my husband has got really upset and stressed about it. He says he doesn’t want to drill holes in his car and it means we will just take more stuff we don’t need. He was literally shaking about it. I’ve told him we will get rid but I don’t really want to. We have a massive box of footballs in the garage and I am sure they could be stored in the roof box so it won’t take up more room but he just says he hopes we will have less footballs in the future. He’s clearly not thinking properly as our son is really sporty and will probably end up with rugby and basketballs too, once at secondary school. Am I right to think that a roof box is a good thing? I see loads of cars with them. Or is he right and they are just an excuse to take a load of extra crap you don’t need?

OP posts:
ChronicallyOnline · 09/06/2022 23:10

Why does he think holes need drilling into the car? Did you get the correct bars to fit it on or is that something you'll have to purchase separately? Im just asking because we've recently got a second hand one but not many had the bars with it and the right ones cost us something like £60. I'm just wondering if you haven't got the bars and that's thinks you have to drill it into the car as neither of you have realised there's a part missing?

I will say ours was a faffy fucker to fit but it was dh who wanted it and dh who fitted it and he still got pissed off with it 😆

I wouldn't be able to reach in and out without a step ladder but I can't reach into the middle of the car roof from the outside without the roof bars and box. Dh himself needed a ladder to be able to reach to fit it and has to stretch quite a bit to reach which can't be good for the back if he had something like a heavy family tent in there but duvets and stuff that won't cause injury or damage to the car should be fine for him.

I can also spot it much easier in the supermarket car park now.

CheeseAndOnion · 09/06/2022 23:11

Very useful for when kids go to university or move from home, we paid hundreds for ours.

Original poster
VWCJW · 09/06/2022 23:12

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 09/06/2022 22:29

Yes, mad: the only holes/adjustments needing to be made to the car to enable roof rails/bars have already been made when it was manufactured!

Unless you live in a flat, I wouldn't have thought that storing it would be a problem - could you not just leave it in a back yard or pathway or something (possibly under a tarpaulin or similar)? They're fully waterproof in use, so surely they're weatherproof when not in use too? I wouldn't leave one on all the time, as it will impact your fuel consumption, which is just a waste when the box is empty; but for holidays, they're great.

If he refuses, insist that it's either a bigger car or a trailer. Trailers have many uses, but unless you need to carry a very large and/or heavy load, roof boxes are so much easier to travel with (and take much less room to store) if it's just for extra bags of clothes, sports equipment and general household/holiday stuff.

Incidentally, when he prides himself on packing virtually nothing, does that mean that he also uses virtually nothing on holiday; or is he one of these men people who will take for granted that everything they (and their joint kids) need and want will be there, but at the same time berate you for packing it on their behalf, to ensure that it is there?

Are you expecting him to fit it and he's panicking cos he doesn't know how, so having a huge strop about the whole idea?

I gather that they aren't too hard to fit (we've never needed one ourselves yet, as we only have one DC), but Halfords offer a fitting service for the ones they sell. I know you got yours from FreeCycle, but I'm sure you could find one of those people who just instantly know how to do these things on Facebook or by asking around friends who would do it for you for a tenner - then just take photos so you know where to screw it back on when you next use it.

Good point about both our kids. If he packed and I wasn’t around, they would have a small number of shorts and T shirts, trainers, swimwear a towel and a coat. He always says the clothes can be washed whilst there but I must admit, I do that. I suppose its one of the strange ideas about things people can get in their heads. I can imagine, we will just do the same as other years but every time he moans about no room in the car, I shall just have the knowledge I did try to prevent it!

OP posts:
NeverDropYourMooncup · 09/06/2022 23:13

VWCJW · 09/06/2022 22:48

The footballs are my kids. They both play football and get them for birthdays and Christmas from various friends and relatives. Yes we are both hoarders, but I don’t think massively so.

Are you absolutely certain your DH is a hoarder and it isn't just you focusing on three items in the house that are his to deflect away from ten million footballs in the garage?

Because his reaction to this sounds far more like the reaction of somebody already finding it incredibly stressful to live with you and All That Stuff.

Original poster
VWCJW · 09/06/2022 23:14

ChronicallyOnline · 09/06/2022 23:10

Why does he think holes need drilling into the car? Did you get the correct bars to fit it on or is that something you'll have to purchase separately? Im just asking because we've recently got a second hand one but not many had the bars with it and the right ones cost us something like £60. I'm just wondering if you haven't got the bars and that's thinks you have to drill it into the car as neither of you have realised there's a part missing?

I will say ours was a faffy fucker to fit but it was dh who wanted it and dh who fitted it and he still got pissed off with it 😆

I wouldn't be able to reach in and out without a step ladder but I can't reach into the middle of the car roof from the outside without the roof bars and box. Dh himself needed a ladder to be able to reach to fit it and has to stretch quite a bit to reach which can't be good for the back if he had something like a heavy family tent in there but duvets and stuff that won't cause injury or damage to the car should be fine for him.

I can also spot it much easier in the supermarket car park now.

He just got the idea in his head that he will need to drill holes.

OP posts:
ancientgran · 09/06/2022 23:16

Discovereads · 09/06/2022 22:45

We love our roof box. But you do need to learn how to get the right roof bars for your car and how to install these plus roof box on to your car safely and securely. If you don’t know how, it can be stressful as the risk is of the roof box falling off your car on the M25 and creating a twenty car pile up accident (catastrophising because that is probably what your DH is doing)

You do need to book the high height Chunnel or ferry tickets if going to France. It’s a bit extra but not much.

It is safer for the children to not be surrounded by stuff in the car.

My husband said he saw that happen once. Sounded horrific.

Lizzy53 · 09/06/2022 23:18

Why can't you give the footballs to a charity or football club and tell friends etc don't buy footballs in future!!

FandangoMango · 09/06/2022 23:24

namechange30455 · 09/06/2022 22:07

Are you expecting him to fit it and he's panicking cos he doesn't know how, so having a huge strop about the whole idea?

That's the sort of thing my ex would have done...

I first read that as- ‘are you expecting him to fit in it and he’s panicking because he doesn’t know how’
Puts a whole different slant on it! 😂 Although I think it might be better for you if he does go in the roof box! YANBU

Branleuse · 09/06/2022 23:27

God I hate competitive underpackers.

Sswhinesthebest · 09/06/2022 23:28

Not all roof bars are the same, so make sure you get ones that fit your car. Most are for specific makes.
We hang ours from the roof in our garage too.

Bubblesandsqueak1 · 09/06/2022 23:30

You don't need to take a ton of crap with you though we take around 3 days worth for a week plus swimming stuff and just wash on day 3 we take 1 80 litre rucksack for the 3 of us also if you roll clothes it takes less space

Yellownotblue · 09/06/2022 23:31

I’m having a day of raging at people.

I’ve added your DH to my list.

—along with my own DH and everyone else in the world—

SiobhanSharpe · 09/06/2022 23:32

We used to drive to the French Alps every year for skiing holidays when DS was young and the top box was invaluable, it took skis, boots, bulky ski suits, the lot.
When we stopped doing that we flogged it on eBay for over £100! The bids just kept going up. It was a Thule, good make.
And driving in France is much easier than here, the autoroutes are very well kept, lots of rest areas as well as service stations and generally much less busy. (Except the weekends at the start and end of August. )
We didn't find it was very heavy on the petrol, especially as you're advised to stay under 70 mph when you've got it on.

Hagiography · 09/06/2022 23:33

LemonJuiceFromConcentrate · 09/06/2022 23:03

Where did the hole-drilling thing even come from? Did he honestly think that all the people out there who have roof boxes have gone and drilled actual holes in their cars? Like, ‘hey ho, cars are expensive but needs must’

I’m not even a driver and I can instantly see the holes flaws in that as a concept

Grin
Feetache · 09/06/2022 23:34

We love ours. Sits on roof bars. Life saver. And we pack light

Overeaction · 09/06/2022 23:34

Youre self catering so take one outfit each besides the ones youre wearing, roll them into a backpack with a bottle of laundry liquid and some powder in a tub and take a carrier bag with all towels

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 09/06/2022 23:34

He’s being ridiculous. It can be really uncomfortable for children to sit with loads of stuff piled up all around them, especially as they get bigger.

And it can diminish your enjoyment of the holiday if you can’t take the stuff you need.

ShaunaTheSheep · 09/06/2022 23:36

Branleuse · 09/06/2022 23:27

God I hate competitive underpackers.

Each to their own 🤷‍♀️

We entertain ourselves in the ferry queue wondering what on earth folk are taking with them! My packing goal is to have nothing on show Smile

Fidodidit · 09/06/2022 23:37

I love our roof box. We bought it about 10 years ago and it didn’t seem to make any difference to the fuel efficiency of the car so we’ve never taken it off. Is really handy for bringing the Christmas tree home and yes, spotting the car in supermarket car parks. DH is very proud of the camping holiday where the man did a double take and said “did you really bring all that stuff in that tiny car?”.

AlwaysLatte · 09/06/2022 23:39

I'm with you, I hate putting things around people on the back seat, I like to keep it completely clear of stuff so the kids can sit comfortably. And it's free, I don't get his problem. We've got one, no drilling required!

Zazdar · 09/06/2022 23:40

Oh and roof boxes are not at all difficult to get stuff in and out of!

I had to use a step ladder.

AlwaysLatte · 09/06/2022 23:41

We just stand on the foot plate, no need for a ladder.

Liverpoolhev · 09/06/2022 23:43

I think I have a solution.. hire a roof box! They fit it for you and you aren't left with storage issues afterwards. This is what I did when taking a 4 month old to the caravan (FTM underestimated the sheer amount of baby paraphernalia!) good luck x

Stompythedinosaur · 09/06/2022 23:44

I'd be pissed off about the idea that he gets to unilaterally decide something for the family.

CandyLeBonBon · 09/06/2022 23:44

jalopy · 09/06/2022 22:08

We used to hide Christmas presents in ours.

That's pure genius!

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