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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

I’ve got a roof box off free cycle. Husband has gone mad!

284 replies

VWCJW · 09/06/2022 22:02

Every holiday, my husband prides himself on taking hardly anything to a self catering holiday, and gets really stressed by me and my daughter taking a normal amount of clothes. He moans that it all won’t fit in the car and our kids sit with loads of stuff by their feet and piled up between them. This year, we have a long journey through France and our kids are getting taller so I got a roof box and my husband has got really upset and stressed about it. He says he doesn’t want to drill holes in his car and it means we will just take more stuff we don’t need. He was literally shaking about it. I’ve told him we will get rid but I don’t really want to. We have a massive box of footballs in the garage and I am sure they could be stored in the roof box so it won’t take up more room but he just says he hopes we will have less footballs in the future. He’s clearly not thinking properly as our son is really sporty and will probably end up with rugby and basketballs too, once at secondary school. Am I right to think that a roof box is a good thing? I see loads of cars with them. Or is he right and they are just an excuse to take a load of extra crap you don’t need?

OP posts:
Dunnoburt · 09/06/2022 22:19

They are brilliant but don't 'arf raise the fuel bill with the drag!

yahboo · 09/06/2022 22:21

We are also driving to France on a camping holiday soon with young kids and as usual our car will be absolutely packed to the rafters. Every inch of space will be used. That's just the way it is. Also thinking of getting a roof box or trailer.

Ask your husband why he thinks other people have them?

Tbh your post makes it sound like there are bigger issues if he really was shaking over this. It sounds like he is trying to control you

deplorabelle · 09/06/2022 22:22

If you've already booked your ferry crossing for France you may need to amend to take into account the extra height of the vehicle, perhaps?

Some people have a weird thing about travelling light and some people are controlling about other people's belongings. Which one do you think your DH is being?

Dobbysgotthesocks · 09/06/2022 22:24

ShaunaTheSheep · 09/06/2022 22:18

Aerodynamics, weight, balance, Beamish22.

And in the OP they say they haven't needed one before.

She also said the kids were getting taller. Taller children = taking up more room 🙄

Just because they have managed without in the past doesn't mean they will in the future!

Oh and roof boxes are not at all difficult to get stuff in and out of!

ElenaSt · 09/06/2022 22:24

Can you explain to him that it's safer to store things in the roof box then to have them loose in the car in the event of an accident where objects could become missiles?

FangsForTheMemory · 09/06/2022 22:24

Is he worried about the damage to his self-image? It's hard to pretend you're driving a Ferrari with a box on the roof.

Unless of course it is a Ferrari, in which case his reaction is understandable.

Arenanewbie · 09/06/2022 22:25

I haven’t had experience with a roof box but wanted to say that your DH was rude, unreasonable and controlling.

7weekandcounting · 09/06/2022 22:25

make sure you avoid Paris on your trip through France as there is this section of the Paris ring road that is under a tunnel which does have a height restriction sign, but you might ignore it, and get stuck and have to reverse backwards through a really tight concrete chiccaine whilst everyone beeping at you. Your DH will be really shaking then and quite rightly.

But if you end up getting rid of the free roof box ignore my advice.

bellac11 · 09/06/2022 22:25

Are you a bit of a hoarder OP?

I ask as my OH stresses me out no end with his insistence for taking everything and the kitchen sink, bags and bags of stuff.

We had a roof box when we used to go camping and I probably would have kept it if we had a garage, it was a nightmare to store because we didnt have a garage and no shed big enough for the garden. But secretly I also liked getting rid of it because if we kept it, he would have rammed that full of shit as well on normal holidays.

It stresses me out going on holiday and having half the bloody house come with me, it doesnt feel like Im away from home with loads of stuff from home bought with us.

The fact that you seem to have loads of footballs for some reason

But he wont have to drill holes in the car so you can reassure him on that, but you will need to get proper fixings and bars. I hated all that as well, finding somewhere to store it all, the time taken to get it all on but then if you have a garage youve got somewhere for it all.

RoseslnTheHospital · 09/06/2022 22:26

It's a weird reaction. Of course you wouldn't need to drill holes in the car! But you might need to amend your ferry/chunnel booking to make sure the extra height is accounted for. Maybe that's what's unnerved him?

SunnyShiner · 09/06/2022 22:28

Shaking with anger? Is he like this a lot, and are you safe? Flowers

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 09/06/2022 22:29

Yes, mad: the only holes/adjustments needing to be made to the car to enable roof rails/bars have already been made when it was manufactured!

Unless you live in a flat, I wouldn't have thought that storing it would be a problem - could you not just leave it in a back yard or pathway or something (possibly under a tarpaulin or similar)? They're fully waterproof in use, so surely they're weatherproof when not in use too? I wouldn't leave one on all the time, as it will impact your fuel consumption, which is just a waste when the box is empty; but for holidays, they're great.

If he refuses, insist that it's either a bigger car or a trailer. Trailers have many uses, but unless you need to carry a very large and/or heavy load, roof boxes are so much easier to travel with (and take much less room to store) if it's just for extra bags of clothes, sports equipment and general household/holiday stuff.

Incidentally, when he prides himself on packing virtually nothing, does that mean that he also uses virtually nothing on holiday; or is he one of these men people who will take for granted that everything they (and their joint kids) need and want will be there, but at the same time berate you for packing it on their behalf, to ensure that it is there?

Are you expecting him to fit it and he's panicking cos he doesn't know how, so having a huge strop about the whole idea?

I gather that they aren't too hard to fit (we've never needed one ourselves yet, as we only have one DC), but Halfords offer a fitting service for the ones they sell. I know you got yours from FreeCycle, but I'm sure you could find one of those people who just instantly know how to do these things on Facebook or by asking around friends who would do it for you for a tenner - then just take photos so you know where to screw it back on when you next use it.

bellac11 · 09/06/2022 22:31

OP didnt say he was shaking with anger, or even that he was angry, she said upset and stressed

I had exactly the same recently when we went away, bag after bag coming into this self catering place we rented and I got stressed, anxious and was shaking. I hate it, feels so claustrophobic and suffocating, really stresses me out

Georgeskitchen · 09/06/2022 22:32

He sounds a bit of a fanny tbh

Fairislefandango · 09/06/2022 22:33

Your husband sounds ridiculously over-dramatic. Shaking with anger over s roof box Hmm What a twerp. Of course you don't have to drill holes in the car!

TheAntiGardener · 09/06/2022 22:33

I don’t have anything useful to add to this topic (other to be yet another slightly amazed that your husband thinks you fit roofboxes by drilling into your car), but this struck me as oddly poignant:

he just says he hopes we will have less footballs in the future

I am imagining you both living at the whim of the footballs that have taken up residence. Will they go one day? Maybe, maybe not..,

Akite · 09/06/2022 22:34

It sounds like he really doesn't understand how roof boxes work. You don't drill holes in your car, that would be ridiculous. Is that why he's so stressed about it?

ShaunaTheSheep · 09/06/2022 22:37

I'm curious about whether it's the OP or her DH, or both doing the driving...

SpatzBurger · 09/06/2022 22:37

jalopy · 09/06/2022 22:08

We used to hide Christmas presents in ours.

This is such a good idea!! Stealing this, thanks.

Aghh · 09/06/2022 22:41

Why is nobody asking about the balls ??

VWCJW · 09/06/2022 22:42

Because he was stressed about the amount of room it will take up in the garage.

OP posts:
Rodion · 09/06/2022 22:43

The roof box might not be ideal for storing the footballs - sometimes things like that go a bit mouldy in an unventilated container. Maybe not though. In general the roof box sounds great (unless you really do need drill holes).

VWCJW · 09/06/2022 22:43

I might drive some of the UK drive but he’s likely to do most of France.

OP posts:
fluffiphlox · 09/06/2022 22:44

Whether you need one I don’t know. What I do know is that you don’t drill holes in the car. Is he usually a bit thick?

RandomUsernameHere · 09/06/2022 22:44

I don't think anyone would have them if it involved drilling holes in the car! Ferry crossing will probably be more expensive with one though, worth bearing in mind

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