Can our wedding venue do this??? Any lawyers?!

[RedWineRage]

Posting here for traffic....and also some perspective/help/ideas!

Getting married this summer. Reception venue is stately home-type place which is open to the public but also does weddings, has done successfully for years. Top listed wedding venue in various magazines etc and very good reviews. So - not some shady outfit.

Email out of the blue this week - all rather breezy - due to several incidents at recent events, just to let you know we will no longer be serving red wine at all, with immediate effect.

But don't worry, we'll just swap that out for rosé in your drinks package.

What???

My mum only drinks red wine. Several family members prefer red wine. We planned to have beef as a main.

Totally unacceptable, right? They appear to be relying on some woolly clause in the contract around "it's a historic building, changes may need to be made to your wedding plan that are out of our control due to operational reasons" etc.

We're genuinely considering trying at short notice to get another venue, and trying to claim money back through small claims. Has anyone done this? Any ideas on how likely we are to be successful?

My mum can't not have an alcoholic drink at my wedding. Sorry I'm ranting and probably not being very rational.

Perspective and advice welcome!!

There are plenty of wine experts/writers who give details about full-bodied white wines that can be paired with beef.

Alternatively if you're hooked on the convention that you can't possibly pair whiite wine and red meat, then look for an alternative menu option.

I don't think the 'perfect wedding day' exists. If that's the worse giitch that happens, before/during the event then you'll be doing better than most couples.

This isn’t unusual for a historic property. It sounds like there’s been an accident or insurance risk assessment. I think you’re overreacting. No one needs red wine. Perhaps buy some bubbles that are served just for your mum.

@JudgeJ Unfortunately I think the insurers have just got tough with the people with this wedding venue. Someone just mentioned it costing thousands to get red wine out of old flagstones. Some ancient wall papers are simply irreplaceable. ditto tapestry whether on walls or chairs. I suspect the insurance for them to hold weddings at all is over the £100,000 pa mark given public liability, accidental damage, fire, theft, employer's liability etc. The venue owners may have had to claim once too often for red wine damage.

It doesn't have to be people drunk on red wine - it could just be a bottle knocked off a table as someone reaches for salt, someone leaving a glass by a chair while they dance and it gets knocked over, someone tripping on their shoes.

@OP just go back calmly and negotiate. You booked before this edict and though you will have signed a contract, it is not one you would have signed with such a significant change. Work out what would be the least bad option for you (especially if you can win your mother round to a heavy dry rose) and ask the venue to help.

Yes, I agree with this. It sucks and I'd be annoyed too.

I'd hazard a guess that previous wedding bookings have caused damage and stains from red wine spillages. So if this is the case they're probably well within their rights if its an old stately venue with antiques etc.

There will be plenty of other options for alcohol. And if your mum is really desperate for red wine she can sneak some in to her hotel room

I would not attend a party somewhere where red wine is banned, let alone have a wedding there.

YANBU. Weddings are a celebration, and meant to be had in places where guests can relax, not in museums.

Massive overreaction. Get over it.

Then OP shouldn't have chosen a historical venue!

The thing is, nobody thinks it will be their own family causing the damage. But sometimes, it is.
I work in a hotel/wedding venue.
It's always someone's family.
We could start a very long thread about fights, having to stage manage the wedding so the brides mother and father didn't even look at each other, the uncle who did a walnut whip poo on the floor in the toilet, the smashed wall (which in a listed building is very expensive to fix). Free drink can make people crazy....

My guess is that at some point, someone before you, did something that cost them a lot of money. And honestly, hospitality is on it's knees at the moment. So they just banned it. Crap for you in terms of the short notice. But really, your anger should be at the person who behaved in such a way that this needed to be implemented. They won't have taken this decision lightly; especially as it will affect bar sales. But they could have perhaps communicated it better. My boss would have rung up and explained this personally.

The compromise I would suggest is to ask if it can be served with the meal then cleared away. Less wandering around during the meal.

I coordinate weddings at several venues and one of them doesn't allow red wine. It is an insurance issue and I should imagine the venues insurance have probably had enough. And although the wedding venue really should have handled this better, a wedding isn't more important than a 300 year old carpet. However we do, on occasion allow it at a small sit down dinner with the understanding that it will be removed during coffee or outside. So I think there should be wiggle room in this.
it is your day, even if it just for the top table. You have paid a lot of money and you deserve to be happy and the venue should really want that too. I wouldn't go full on bridezilla, polite and firm works much better. But also, don't let this consume and ruin what should be a very special time. It makes me really sad to see brides self sabotage their dream day.

Hello yes I am a lawyer specialising in red wine at weddings. PM me- let's take this all the way to the high court.

Without being rude to the majority of people, clearly most replies are from people who know very little about contract law.

Your mum needs to grow up and just drink something else. It's your day, not hers.

I can see that it's annoying. But red wine/white wine..it's not really what the day is about, is it? Think about the big picture. A wedding doesn't need to be perfect to be a wonderful. People are adaptable and will try their best to have a good time whatever the circumstances.

Cancelling or suing is a self destructive act. You'll not get a comparable venue at short notice and no doubt the invitations are out and everyone's made their arrangements. You'll have to do all the hard work all over again. And it will taint your memory of your wedding.

I think the person who said swap out for champagne at no extra charge had a very good suggestion.

Creative smuggling is the way forward here

I feel your frustration. You pay so much for weddings at venues like this and their aim should be to make your day as perfect for you as possible. Damages are what nonrefundable bonds are for and they are being ridiculous.

I know nothing about the legal side of it, but I'd be very clear with them about my disappointment and the power of word of mouth. Changing venues would be too stressful for you.

🤣

Are they actually suggesting you serve rose with beef? Are they fucking savages?

I would be upset too, we had a lot of red wine drinkers at our wedding and I wouldn't have been happy if our venue had said what yours have. It's your big day of course you want your guests to be happy, especially your mum.

I would be frustrated by this

I'd be dumping them for using the expression "swap that out".

OP, rosé is a horrible, modish drink, drunk by the type of person who also says "swap that out". A good red is very, very good. There are people on here who think you should all be drinking tap water at your wedding because alcohol is really, really Bad. However, a glass or two of really nice wine for a special event is something to savour. Your mum likes red, and she should have her red.

I normally have no time whatsoever for wedding problems, as weddings are overrated, but if I were having a nice party for any reason and it involved beef, and someone said "oh don't worry, there's no red, but you can have rosé", I would be mightily pissed off.

That said, I think the 'BYO and be discreet' suggestion is probably what I'd go for, because I'm hopeless at conflict IRL, and I cba with reorganising anything now.

I almost never eat beef with red wine. I had no idea it was mandatory.

You can cope without red wine, bur you can't serve beef. While I have not remembered the wine at many weddings (the really good and really bad both stand out though!) I would remember forever a wedding that served rose wine with beef.

I would call them. Obviously if there can only be white wine (because rose needs to be very expensive to not taste vile), then you need to change your meal and canapé plans go accommodate this.

A place that is even suggesting rose with beef is not a venue that values food though. It is a terrible sign of what's to come. Have you had meal tastings?

I can't understand why you're worked up... would you be this worked up if they hadn't told you and on the day just claimed to have no red wine in stock? Probably not, calm down, step back. This is not a big deal. There's other alcohol.

I'd be so annoyed. Being able to have red wine with your meal is pretty basic. I'd be put off by that if I was looking to book the venue so I'm sure they'll soon realise it is a silly business decision.

Can you see if red wine can be served with main course but not behind the bar as a compromise? Change main to chicken?