Unschooling - thoughts?

[Snickerdoodle1]

Recently got back in touch with an old school friend via Facebook, have mostly shared messages but last week we met properly for coffee and was good to see her again.

I'd never heard of it before but apparently she is 'unschooling' her DS - not the same as home ed as they never sit down and dedicate time to work, they just visit the occasional museum and forest school class but mostly just focus on being happy. They go on a lot of holidays and spend time will their fellow unschooling friends.

Her DS seems cheerful and positive so clearly she's doing something right but when I was discussing with DH later at home he said he thinks it's 'not fair' on someone not to equip them for life and work and adulthood.

Just wondering what other people's thoughts/opinions are on it?

Load of bollocks

Ridiculous, lazy parenting. Can't be bothered to take them to school or homeschool. Children deserve an education. It is so much harder to learn things as an adult.

I suppose it depends on the value you place on education, career and qualifications. If it is a short term thing and she intends to start home education then that's less worrying. If she does not intend to equip him for any exams then she is making a choice for him that will have long term implications. What if he wants to go into a particular job? How will he get into university without GCSE and Alevels?

Technically I think this could be classed as neglect

Honestly I think it’s a form of neglect. Neglect of their intelligence and skills development.

Totally agree with your DH. Opting out of educating your child is going to have consequences on them for the rest of their life.
It's one thing if it's for a limited period for a specific reason, but just to drop them out of schooling completely is deeply unfair on the child.

Indulgent bollocks. It’s her duty to equip him for the adult world. That doesn’t have to mean education up to masters level, but it must mean that he is at least able to get a job and support himself as an adult. So minimally, maths and English to GCSE or equivalent. Which requires some sort of schooling.

How are the children learning anything? I am confused.

In unschooling you do look at books, words, numbers etc but it’s done at the child’s pace and following the child’s interests. unschooled believe that a child will naturally want to learn when they are in the right environment.

I actually don’t agree with this. SOME children will learn to read and write easily without much formal teaching but anyone who has worked in a school will know that a lot of children need a lot of dedicated time and effort to be able to acquire good literacy skills. It isn’t something that will simply ‘pick up’ because they read a lot of books at home.

Fine if he's 4. Not so good if he's 14.

Not for me, but I have several friends who have done it or are currently doing it. A lot depends on the child.

One friend unschooled her older DC and they aced the 11+, now finishing at the local grammar. Her younger DC were better with the structure of the local school. I can think of two further families in my wider acquaintance who are also getting similar successes.

Like any homeschooling approach, it has to be well thought out and applied consistently to work -- it's just more child driven.

It sounds like the latest wanky buzzword to me.

Having said that, for a bright primary aged child it might not be a disaster, so long as there's a plan to get some qualifications eventually.

I'd stay friends with her just to watch this shitshow play out

It’s all great fun until the poor kid needs to earn a living to support himself.

This is why there should be proper monitoring and regulation for homeschooling.

Lazy and neglectful. Fine (ish) if the child is 5/6, if the child is 14 - straight out unfair. They'll learn nothing they'll actually use in life and likely grow up and float around doing bugger all, awful. Education gives a child purpose, amongst so many other things

I don't think I could take an adult with this outlook, seriously, in any aspect of life

Done well it’s an excellent way to learn. HOWEVER it doesn’t suit every child and you have to choose the best methods for the individual. You don’t need to sit and do maths if you’re costing out how much a cake is per portion, what the ingredients cost, halving/quartering/doubling amounts. There is so much primary learning around a child without giving it a name.

That doesn’t mean everyone is doing it well and there is a lot of shit parenting going on. If the child is interested and has passion for subjects and generally doing well I can’t see it being an issue.

Child driven is all very well, but what if the child is driven by TikTok and similar, or cartoons, or running around the park. It sounds as though it could be a lovely life, but what about working parents; what about the discipline of study,; what about doing things you don’t want to do sometimes, because that’s what happens in life.

Qualifications remain important for many jobs and careers and I’m not sure that an unschooling approach promotes the kind of discipline required to hold down a job.

Load of crap. I'm sure it's lovely, but when will the child learn to read? Will they learn critical thinking skills? How to analyse? Socialise outside this rather closed community?

Done well it’s an excellent way to learn. HOWEVER it doesn’t suit every child and you have to choose the best methods for the individual. You don’t need to sit and do maths if you’re costing out how much a cake is per portion, what the ingredients cost, halving/quartering/doubling amounts. There is so much primary learning around a child without giving it a name

how is that different to conventional home schooling? That sounds exactly how my friends who home school have done things for years.

Is that even legal?

I home educate op. Unschooling is an approach that constitutes neglect. Learning needs to be at least shown to a child for them to benefit from it. It's not an approach I've really ever seen work well in real life.

@baffledcoconut

Isn't that what most parents do as well as school?

how is that different to conventional home schooling? That sounds exactly how my friends who home school have done things for years.

It doesn't follow a set curriculum and is more child-driven. The example someone gave up-thread about using baking a cake to teach maths is a perfect example of an unschooling exercise.

My one friend's DC is very science-minded so spends a lot of time doing related activities. Things like reading, writing, etc. are learned in the context of that activity rather than as an abstract concept.

DH mentioned that @LuaDipa - fun until it's job time but then you're not equipped for work.

Her DS is 10, she is not planning to start him at secondary and I think he would struggle to cope there as he doesn't know times tables, can only do basic maths/reading, etc. She said she's more interested in him being happy and tbf he did seem very cheerful, sat politely whilst we chatted, etc and seemed a very kind/friendly kid.

Interestingly she is currently at the OU getting her masters, so loves learning herself and has got serious career plans (neither of us did whilst at school! 😂)

That sounds like "not educating" rather than "unschooling". Unschooling has a purpose and a direction, it's just led by the child.