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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be concerned that the Depp/Heard trial has put off genuine DV victims from coming forward?

1000 replies

PetraBP · 09/06/2022 09:23

The Depp/Heard trial was troubling to me.

On the one hand, people do sometimes make false allegations, especially after relationship breakups.

On the other hand, dragging someone to court for alleging domestic violence might deter some women from reporting it.

Assuming the court got it right and Depp was not a perpetrator, how could he have handled the situation so that it would not put domestic violence victims off coming forward for fear of being sued?

Worrying all round.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
25
AdamRyan · 16/06/2022 17:24

I haven't seen anyone call him a rapist. He is indisputably a violent man, by his own admission as well as the number of legal incidents he's been involved with for violence.

Regarding libel, the statement has to be false and damaging to reputation. It doesn't matter if you are speculating or offering an opinion. If a newspaper wouldn't be able to publish something I don't think it should be allowed on social media either.

Regarding hate speech, I think its right that people legally can't go round airing extreme views like holocaust denial, racism, pro-jihad views. I wish women were afforded some protection rather than being in a position where they have to suffer death and rape threats for the "crime" of having an opinion in public.

FrippEnos · 16/06/2022 17:31

MarieIVanArkleStinks

Diana ran a very convincing and manipulative campaign using the main stream media for years.

They only turned on her towards the end.

TiddyTidTwo · 16/06/2022 17:57

"I haven't seen anyone call him a rapist"

I have and she testified to it in the trial.

mynamesnotMa · 16/06/2022 18:01

It was sickening and so triggering for many victims.
Many others see right through his utter bull shit.
Sadly Many are so entranced by this persona they can't recognise a perpetrator they are blind to the tactics.
Televising it was obherant. It played into so many victims minds of how perpetrators operate and just how devious they are.
He knew her weaknesses and flaunted and provoked her. He sat back and smiled.
Time will tell this won't be the end more people are coming forward to unmask him. Her life is over.

TiddyTidTwo · 16/06/2022 18:08

This reply has been deleted

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mynamesnotMa · 16/06/2022 18:11

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mynamesnotMa · 16/06/2022 18:12

TiddyTidTwo for you BTW 😜

buttersbottom · 16/06/2022 18:15

Aspiringmatriarch · Today 13:02

Can you honestly say there's anything like the same amount of vitriol and ugliness aimed at him?

Well there wouldn't be, would there? He wasn't the one telling endless lies. He wasn't the one who started all this. She did.

I've seen people say he's creepy etc but where are the memes suggesting he should do sex work or making his face look demonic, comparing photos of him to famous murderers? Has he been given a nickname similar to 'Amber Turd'? Are there thousands of hashtags calling him a psychopath?

Again, he didn't shit in the marital bed and her name rhyming with turd was just a gift. She gets the hate because she was so obviously hateful.

I haven't seen that for any men accused of anything, no matter how vile. Roman Polanski raped and sodomized a 12 year old and got a standing ovation at the Oscars. Chris Brown has a tattoo of Rhianna's beaten face - where's the hashtag calling him a psychopath? When it's a man, people comment and move on. They don't make a hobby out of dragging them through the mud.

Now I might be wrong but I don't think Polanski claimed that a 13 year old drugged and raped him. I think Chris Brown did claim that Rihanna hit him first but he didn't try to make himself the poster boy for battered boyfriends. Amber, on the other hand, did pretend she was a poor, innocent victim of domestic violence when she was actually the violent one and the sheer hypocrisy of that is why people loathe her.

TiddyTidTwo · 16/06/2022 18:17

@FrippEnos

I think Diana learnt how to do this through having to and Tbf I don't blame her, and yes it flipped the other way.

That's MSM for you. However, the establishment was at fault on this one at the outset. She was a perfect womb for the next monarch. Yuk.

However, we wouldn't have William and Kate and those beautiful children if things had t happened the way they did but many suffered for it.

I remember when she died and was heartbroken. I've never really followed MSM anyway. The world did lose a very strong woman who could've gone onto great things, separate from Charles. She had her faults but I also remember she never pretended she didn't.

buttersbottom · 16/06/2022 18:24

AdamRyan · Today 17:24

I haven't seen anyone call him a rapist.

I have. On this very site

He is indisputably a violent man, by his own admission as well as the number of legal incidents he's been involved with for violence.

Not really. The definite incidents we know about involving people rather than things is one photographer. There's a trial upcoming but that hasn't be proven one way or the other so far.

Regarding libel, the statement has to be false and damaging to reputation. It doesn't matter if you are speculating or offering an opinion. If a newspaper wouldn't be able to publish something I don't think it should be allowed on social media either.

I don't claim to be a legal expert but I'm fairly sure offering an opinion as nothing but opinion is fine. It's not as if either of us is in any danger of a libel suit labelling either Johnny or Amber monsters on Mumsnet. Long may that continue.

Regarding hate speech, I think its right that people legally can't go round airing extreme views like holocaust denial, racism, pro-jihad views.

There we disagree. I think it extremely dangerous when governments decide what can and can't be said and what is and isn't extreme. You might find your feminist views considered extreme in some places If nasty speech isn't allowed then we don't have free speech. We don't need protections for nice speech. The exception should only be incitements to violence. I'm on the fence about defamation laws in general.

I wish women were afforded some protection rather than being in a position where they have to suffer death and rape threats for the "crime" of having an opinion in public.

Women are afforded protection. Death and rape threats are against the law.

TiddyTidTwo · 16/06/2022 18:27

@mynamesnotMa 😂 happy to debate with you though!

TiddyTidTwo · 16/06/2022 18:59

"He is indisputably a violent man, by his own admission"

That's where he was found credible in court.

Violent though. Smashing up rooms and cupboards. It's not good by any stretch, but I've done it. I've thrown things in anger but it doesn't make me a husband beater or a rapist though.

You can't club it all together

FrippEnos · 16/06/2022 19:45

TiddyTidTwo

How the MSM has built up and destroyed people shows (to me) how little it can be trusted.

buttersbottom · 16/06/2022 19:59

MarieIVanArkleStinks · Today 12:17

Ah, the expected enumeration of why women 'deserve' it.

Don't be ludicrous

Diana Spencer/Windsor was venerated to sainthood status posthumously, as frequently happens with famous/unfamous people alike when it's too late for recriminations and the rose-tinted glasses of nostalgia kick in.

Famous people get criticised all the time, especially by the tabloids. But there were as many puff pieces as hatchet jobs.

During her lifetime she was ridiculed and lambasted by the newspapers almost constantly.

And fawned over just as much

No matter how much you try to water it down, Rowling has been hounded. What would you like to call receiving constant death threats, people intimidating you outside your own home, then applying DARVO and crying victim when they're publicly shown up for it? Kathleen Stock was another one hounded for similar views: urine down her office door, little 'presents' left on her desk, burning of effigies on her own university campus so that she had to have a police escort to work. Did she 'deserve' this?

Yes, trans rights activists are nutters. They don't represent the majority of the mainstream or social media any more than Isis does. And no, neither Rowling nor Stock deserve what has happened to them, but then I never said they did. That is all in your head. I do agree there is something extremely misogynist about TRAs and a lot of institutions are pandering to the trans cult.

'People find Meghan annoying', to quote the above. Mainly because the newspapers tell them to.

Nope, people find Meghan annoying all on their own. Preachy hypocrites who stick the knife into the royals aren't likely to endear themselves to people.

So what has she done that's so unforgivably dreadful? She pontificates and is self-pitying at times, not unlike the vast majority of her in-laws. Does that in any way justify the level of contemptuous, vitriolic, hate-filled bullying, hounding, sexism, (and, yes, overt and covert racism) she's experienced at the hands of a relentless media? Her treatment is not in any way disproportionate to anything she might have done?

I see neither racism not sexism in Meghan's treatment in the mainstream. As for the attacks, the reason for those is obvious. She went after the royals. You have to expect some backlash if you do that.

Pull the other one. And whilst you're at it, you might want to pack away your misogyny before it has someone's eye out.

Oh for fuck's sake, change the bloody record. I'm a woman. I don't hate women. I just hate some specific ones. Some I just dislike. Others I find merely annoying. Misogyny isn't the answer to every problem to ever befall a woman.

Aspiringmatriarch · 16/06/2022 20:26

Now I might be wrong but I don't think Polanski claimed that a 13 year old drugged and raped him. I think Chris Brown did claim that Rihanna hit him first but he didn't try to make himself the poster boy for battered boyfriends. Amber, on the other hand, did pretend she was a poor, innocent victim of domestic violence when she was actually the violent one and the sheer hypocrisy of that is why people loathe her.

Amber wrote that she became a representative of domestic abuse. I can't find anywhere she describes herself as a 'poor, innocent victim' and she's said they were both awful to each other at times.

But even if it's true that she's making the whole thing up, that's supposed to be worse (more worthy of 'loathing') than Polanski and Brown?

Regarding the rest of your post, the 'he' I was referring to wasn't Johnny Depp.

Aspiringmatriarch · 16/06/2022 20:29

There's a case ongoing against Kevin Spacey at the moment. Where are the hashtags about him? I haven't seen #JusticeforAnthony Rapp or other (alleged) victims trending either.

Friars23 · 16/06/2022 20:42

He is indisputably a violent man, by his own admission as well as the number of legal incidents he's been involved with for violence.

I too think the statement he is a violent man needs unpacking. He has on occasion over decades been shown to be violent to property but the documented incidences are v few and there has been no reports of him being violent to other people except for the one claim by a location manager 2 years ago which is pending trial and from depositions so far sound like the claimant could be swinging the lead. I await the verdict before making a final judgement on that.

The case report by the Professor of Criminology I posted on this thread goes through the evidence of Depp being violent and concludes ‘’In sum, Mr. Depp has a history of destroying property but not of being violent against persons.” The author also points out the documented cases of violence against property are not numerous.

AdamRyan · 16/06/2022 20:44

Aspiringmatriarch · 13/06/2022 20:30

WRT the upcoming assault case, here is a quote from Depp in an interview with GQ in November 2018.

This is from the print edition, the quote has been removed from the online version.

Just a reminder ^^

Also:
radaronline.com/photos/johnny-depp-violent-past-arrests-amber-heard-abuse-claims/

It's quite hard to find much now because it's all been drowned out with AH stuff but he is clearly a violent man

AdamRyan · 16/06/2022 20:45

(The post was copied from upthrwad on 13/06 with a quote Johnny gave to GQ magazine)

Friars23 · 16/06/2022 20:51

Aspiringmatriarch · 16/06/2022 20:29

There's a case ongoing against Kevin Spacey at the moment. Where are the hashtags about him? I haven't seen #JusticeforAnthony Rapp or other (alleged) victims trending either.

Different factors involved, so not one to make a direct comparison to in my opinion.

TiddyTidTwo · 16/06/2022 20:52

"How the MSM has built up and destroyed people shows (to me) how little it can be trusted"

@FrippEnos

That's why I don't. I've been torn down on here for posting links to lawyers and PR experts but MSM, truth? No

TiddyTidTwo · 16/06/2022 20:55

"Oh for fuck's sake, change the bloody record. I'm a woman. I don't hate women. I just hate some specific ones. Some I just dislike. Others I find merely annoying. Misogyny isn't the answer to every problem to ever befall a woman"

I agree with this. Is it beyond the realms of possibility some women are shit?

I'm shit sometimes.

It's life

bigfootisreal · 16/06/2022 20:57

there has been no reports of him being violent to other people

Apart from when he has admitted it himself on Letterman and everyone laughed about how violent he is to others.

TiddyTidTwo · 16/06/2022 21:09

Which interview @bigfootisreal

I'd like to see it, thanks

AdamRyan · 16/06/2022 22:00

This thing about Johnny being some kind of perfect victim is weird. It's like because the jury didn't believe AH that means Johnny is some kind of Saint.
He clearly is also very messed up and I don't know why there is so much denial. It's like some kind of weird conspiracy theory

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