To be concerned that the Depp/Heard trial has put off genuine DV victims from coming forward?

[PetraBP]

The Depp/Heard trial was troubling to me.

On the one hand, people do sometimes make false allegations, especially after relationship breakups.

On the other hand, dragging someone to court for alleging domestic violence might deter some women from reporting it.

Assuming the court got it right and Depp was not a perpetrator, how could he have handled the situation so that it would not put domestic violence victims off coming forward for fear of being sued?

Worrying all round.

Amen to that. And also amen to it being shocking how many women are team Depp. He's clearly vile, whether or not she is, and whether or not he's been in nice films in the past.

I agree OP.
I think the trial has set a worrying precedent that in certain cases it's ok for men to be abusive. I'm particularly concerned by the mutual/reactive abuse coverage in the trial as it misrepresented what reactive abuse actually means.

I posted this elsewhere which you may find interesting

During highly sensationalized and publicized court cases, terms to describe abusive behavior often trend online. Misappropriating phrases like "gaslighting" and "mutual abuse" can minimize conversations about domestic violence, Glenn said.

"Please don't use them until you understand," Glenn said. "Because you're causing more harm than good."

www.google.com/amp/s/www.nbcnews.com/news/amp/rcna25461

I think that summarises my concern - that a misinterpretation of "reactive abuse" is entering public consciousness which benefits abusers.

Kind of like a rape myth but for DV.

Both figures will be used.

Depp as a positive for men coming forward. I think there will be a lot more understanding going forward, especially as Johnny Depp will be the face of male victims and everyone loves Johnny Depp.

Heard as a negative for women coming forward. She’s made genuine female victims a laughing stock for abusive men and they’ve now got someone to use as reference to shut women up. Wonderful.

I don't know why anyone would think Depp is a role model for abuse victims.

He wrote a load of abuse about Amber using the blood from his severed finger, for example. That's not disputed. Is that the action of a rational person?

Not to mention the fact that the evidence suggests he severed it himself. Bleurgh.

Anyway. Shortly the thread will be over run by people claiming they were both abusive but she deserved it, so I may hide it early.

Noone deserves abuse. Doesn't matter if they are a liar, have a personality disorder or whatever.

He’ll be able to do whatever he likes to his next girlfriend on the back of that trial.

It’s not really that he’s a role model, clearly no one could rationally aspire to be like him. It’s more that there’s been a huge public acknowledgment that DV towards men, even rich successful men, is something that happens.

Did anyone ever deny that it happens though?

Are you for real? Social media is full of people saying he’s is ‘perfect’. Yes...perfect!

This. I am now so wary of people based on their willingness to excuse male use of the legal system to continue to abuse. This is a really well known strategy among people who actually care about VAWG and aren't just in it for the woman bashing, sound bytes, and headlines. Countless men do it. He has a long history of horrible behaviour towards both men and women, plus the power dynamics in the relationship were always massively swayed in one direction (clue: the young female less famous person was not the one with the power!).

The whole thing is a con. AH is probably a difficult and unpleasant person, but that doesn't make a difference to whether she was a victim of an abusive guy. Funny how the victims of famous and beloved men are still expected to be absolutely beyond reproach!

When I posted about this before I was systematically targeted by MRAs who followed me into other threads, posted about me in other threads, and even made abusive comments (including an anti Semitic one) that @MNHQ refused to delete despite me providing them with evidence by email. This is in addition to the ongoing problem of systemic ableism in the moderation here. It's laughable that the site claims to be supportive of vulnerable women.

Not if they are genuine, no.

If they are toxic, malicious liars & fantasists trying to use the courts as a form of legalised extortion, they might have second thoughts after seeing how the delightful Ms Heard got on.

Maybe.

But how many women will now be abused by powerful men, see this trial and think ‘absolutely not’? I bet more.

I do t think norms people would compare themselves to two mega rich spoilt celebrities who both behaved badly.

I would be interested in knowing how many of the commentators here on MN actually watch the trial and as a result what their opinion is.

DS was (falsely) arrested for DA. No prosecution as her stories have varied a lot. CPS report quite clear on that.

To my shame, I never totally believed him, but knew a lot of her accusations were not realistic. I have been conditioned to believe it is always the man. Add into the mix my father was extremely violent towards me, and my first relationship was too.

The only time violence happened in DS relationship was when he been punched in the head by her, she admitted it in front of DH and I, and DS was (rightly), very angry. We still sided with her, much our my shame in hindsight - why the hell should his anger at being punched trump hers? Conditioned to protect the woman I suppose. Her reasons for accusation are because he finally saw the light and left her. All about control and blocking access to child as revenge. Looking back she controlled the whole relationship.

Now we are at the stage where her accusations have meant for over a year he hasn’t had any contact with his child. Tried mediation after absolutely no contact apart from him sorting out maintenance. She refused, then went down the NMO route. It’s at 3rd hearing now, as DS is not happy to accept as he hasn’t done anything wrong. This is what opened my eyes, as I have actually been involved in a witness statement, which involves her witness putting me in a situation which didn’t happen. It will go down to what the court believes, as no proof as such, so now I am as a woman going to hope that my word is going to be believed. But it’s 2 women against 1 man and a woman, so who knows.

It happens to men too.

Amber heard should have thought about what she posted. His reputation and career was ruined over night, he absolutely had the right to have his voice heard too.

It shouldn't put people off coming forward, it should make people think twice about what they put in a very public domain. There's a clear difference. I heavily anonymise my story under pseudonyms so myself nor my ex is identifiable. I have criminal convictions to support my comments too.

I think too many people post very publically with limited thought about the potential consequences

How was his career ruined? He was cast in several major films afterwards - the Harry Potter franchise AND the Agatha Christie.

"Oh what a circus..."

I don't either of them covered themselves in glory and I don't think most people had an unbiased view on it, either.

Whichever "team" you're on, you think the other has done a disservice to DV survivors & victims. I don't think anyone wins, really.

Yes YABU. He was a victim of domestic abuse and I think him admitting that only helps men being abused not to be ashamed or convinced they'll end up charged with abuse themselves.

“Tell the world, Johnny, tell them, Johnny Depp — I, Johnny Depp, a man, I’m a victim too of domestic violence” and challenging him to “see how many people believe or side with you.” So he did.

Maybe I'm biased because this man was my neighbour but I can only think it's a good thing. www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-beds-bucks-herts-43799850.amp

Not to mention the fact that the evidence suggests he severed it himself. Bleurgh.

Evidence suggests she severed it. The complained about his response. Bleurgh.

I watched all of the trial live. For 6 weeks.
Knew nothing much before apart from they had a troubled relationship. Never a Depp fan.
I believe the real victim of abuse won and that the abuser showed herself time again to be a manipulative liar. It was absolutely shocking and very sad.
I am amazed how mainstream media and the people who digest it have it so so wrong.
I believe more and more information will emerge soon.

You can’t allege the abuse in an editorial in a major newspaper them complain that the trial is held in public.

Agree and that a victim is a male too.

Quite right, he didn't deserve to be abused and the world got to hear and see her abuse him.