Be honest about DC screentime

[springhassprung22]

I have two DC, 7 and 3. The youngest doesn't sit and watch TV for long so isn't a problem.

My eldest, lately, seems to be developing an addiction to TV. He doesn't have it in the morning before school, and our mornings are definitely easier as a result. After school he is allowed to watch it to unwind, especially as I WFH so if I collect him, I am then working for an hour or so (younger DC is in nursery). He does after school activities on two weekdays so it's limited to about 45 minutes maximum on those days but on the other days he can have up to 1.5 hours, maybe even 2 at a push.

His listening has gone really downhill recently so I've implemented a TV reward chart, a basic amount of 30 minutes TV a day, and the opportunity to win or lose some depending on listening. Yesterday he had won extra so had 50 minutes, but on Monday he'd lost it all so had none.

On Monday he whined and whined without it but after a while went off to play happily with his sibling. He managed to win 10 minutes which he watched before bed.

Yesterday after the 50 minutes, he turns it off with little fuss, but then asks to watch more and more later: "just a little bit pleeeeeeasseee". It's like an addiction at the moment in a way it didn't used to be!

I think it might be the stuff he watches (strictly no Youtube but has free reign of Kids' Netflix/Prime etc so watches rubbish cartoons a lot) so I'm torn whether to try an all out ban, or maybe limit to less trashy stuff eg CBBC.

In reality how much do your kids have? And does it impact behaviour? The only other screen my DS has is a Kindle Fire tablet which he's allowed to play on the weekends, it's only ever about 30-40 minutes a day though. He mostly plays Sonic on that.

Until he was two he had none. Well, technically some, twice he watched TV for a couple hours when I was really poorly and had no help, but other than those two days it was none.

Once he was 2 and a few months we introduced a bit, maybe 20m a couple times per week.

If he's showing signs of addiction that's even more reason to reduce how much he's watching. When you say his 'listening' though, what do you mean? Listening to you?

My 7YO and 9YO have their own television in their bedroom. They also have an Nintendo switch each.

They're both currently outside on the trampoline through their own choice. (I know it's very common to have a trampoline!). They are generally mild mannered children.

7 year old dd watches YouTube (mostly drawing videos) and Disney plus. She has no lmset limits but we will tell her to get up and shift if it's been too long. Most weekdays she won't watch any - it does really help to have screen free areas for her and her younger sister to play in but I know we are very privileged to have the option of additional space downstairs to do so.

DD6 isn't ever bothered by it and would rather draw.

DS9 has it in the mornings before school providing he is up, dressed, bed made, curtains opened, eaten breakfast etc. Basically ready for school.

After school he has clubs three times a week and on those nights he's not home until 5pm He has screen time after school / clubs providing he has done his homework until dinner which is about 6pm. So about an hour on club nights and 2 hours on non club nights.

No screen time after dinner, except ok Fridays when we have family movie night all together.

Weekends: Saturday morning from when he gets up until he goes to a club at 10am. And then none until 4pm. Again no screens after dinner.

Sunday: iPad free day but he can watch TV. Normally in the morning till we all get up and have breakfast around 9. Then again at 4pm until dinner time.

I'm more lax in the holidays though, it has to be said. We definitely struggle with him consistently wanting more, but he's an avid reader, well above his reading age and has read 100s of novels so I'm not too worried. I do think it impacts his behaviour though, he's more irritable etc with screen time. I flipping hate YouTube so we limit how much of that he can watch and he can only watch it on the family TV so we know what he's watching.

I don't know what the right answer is. You will get a wide range of responses here and probably very few from parents who let their kids have free reign because they know they will get slated on here.

I think all you can do is tweak the rules you have until you find a nice balance that works for your family.

Apart from restricting the use of kids YouTube and the awful toy unboxing videos we don’t restrict screens and never have. My children will look up educational content often without pushing from me- I think in part because they know they aren’t limited. They have tvs in their rooms and switches etc yet are well rounded, with good social skills and vocabulary. They will also just do non-screen things out of choice, probably because we don’t make a big thing out of it.

My 11 & 10 & 6year olds don’t game at all/don’t have any video game type things but they can watch TV when they want. We have a lot of activities (especially the older two who do quite intensive hobbies/sports) so basically we rarely have time in the week. At the weekend they watch as much telly as they like outside of matches and classes and things, but again they do tend to be going with friends/playing with friends/doing other things too so it’s just when they have time. My 8yo watches a little bit more TV especially superhero films and TV and documentaries about certain topics.

It doesn’t seem to affect their behaviour. They watch telly and do other things. We don’t make a big thing of ‘winning’ or ‘losing’ TV time. I watch programmes with them too and we chat about them. It’s nice. In my opinion parenting, environment, and personality are what determines behaviour really.

No restrictions on DD 9 except YouTube as there is so much inappropriate content. YouTube kids ok. She has enough activities in the week and weekends that I feel she has a good balance. We both use devices to unwind. I can't see that it is detrimental to her behaviour or academic learning. If I did I would consider settings limits.

I think I wouldn't do the increase or decrease in time, that way it is consistent that he gets 30 minutes and you address the not listening issue another way. You are framing the tv as a reward and so he sees it that way.

Any more asking for the tv once it is switched off just results in a flat no and a reminder that you will not change your mind and stick to it.

There are lots of other activities he could be doing, make a list together so that he can refer to it rather than thinking it up for himself. It can be difficult to play alone as his sibling gets older this will become easier hopefully, mine have a 3 year gap and are the best of friends (now 19 and 16 years old.)

We had 2 no tech days in our house but that was when both children were on the same schedule and both at school. We did Tuesdays and Thursdays. On the other days we did allow a lot more tv that you are allowing but we controlled what they watched, so lots of fun educational stuff but I am a SAHM so was able to monitor everything they watched. But we had set times for tech so they knew once that time was over it was done for the day.

I think it's very much child dependent.
Two of my four will dip in and out of screen time, will almost always come off straight away when asked to, occasionally ask very politely can I just watch the last two mins or finish this bit, screens are just one of many things that they enjoy.
The other two would happily sit there all day, have to be asked repeatedly to turn off, will bargain and moan for more time, often get angry at being asked to come off whether they've been on for minutes or hours.
Our attitude to screens has been the same for all of them. Two just need tight restrictions.

Hours and hours. They’re fine.

We don't really limit screen time for DD8. She has a tablet and plays on that or her switch (animal crossing) before school but also has her maths home work apps on her tablet which she also can do before school for maybe 30 mins or longer if she is up early. She does a lot of afterschool activities (dancing, swimming) and also plays a lot with barbies, sylvanian families etc, reads books, bikes, trampolines, dances around, watches films, YouTube or general TV. She has enough of a mix so I rarely set a limit. If I think she's been on it too long and she's getting a bit fixated at all I'll.nudge her off to do something else and she happily will.

For us it’s all about balance. Usually DS4 is allowed 20 mins of TV before bed. He gets 2 episodes of Grizzy and the Lemmings (which is absolutely rediculous) followed by two episodes of number blocks which he’s really learnt a lot from.

this evening he’s having a bit more because he’s been in nursery all day (so I know he’s had a long walk, structured learning, crafts and unstructured play) and had a play date. He’s exhausted but I don’t want him in bed too early, so he’s having some extra TV time tonight.

DD 9 has her own tv and switch in her room. She watches it after school (goes to after school club) but does come downstairs to lay the table feed the cat etc. she prob does have too much screen time but she does read later in the evenings and we're knackered in the evenings too or going to the gym, band practice etc so I don't think it's a major issue

She doesn't have it in the morning

Mine watched quite a bit of tv. There are lots of really good educational programmes for that age as well as entertaining. As long as they're doing other things too, I think down time with the tv is ok.
Don't make it an issue as they will be more focused on this tv = reward thing.
Mine are teenagers now so I was more concerned about gaming and time on their phone. Getting them to sit with us to watch things together is a bonus these days! Thank goodness for Stranger Things and Marvel

DC 6 and 9

No TV weekday mornings

They often watch an hour ish at weekends in morning, and we may watch a movie in the evening

They usually watch it 2/3 times a week after school for an hour

Then a couple of hours on tablet at weekend playing games.

We have 1 TV in our house, no consoles, 1 shared tablet.

In winter it may be more, in summer less, but I'd say 7-8 hours a week on average. It's more than I'd like, but I don't think it's excessive.

We aren't too strict about it, but do have limits. DS7 watches tv in the morning while having his breakfast - we have to get him to the school bus by 7:10 so we don't have much time in the mornings and he seems to eat quicker when watching tv. Don't know why! He has football 2 afternoons after school and a Spanish lesson on a Monday evening so I'm happy for him to watch TV/Youtube in the living room while I cook dinner after his activities. On the days he doesn't have after school activities he usually does some painting/reading/playing in his room and then his homework. He will have half an hour of TV before or after dinner, but most of the time he will turn off the TV and get on with whatever I've asked him to do without any strops - not always though. Sometimes he is on the iPad doing Duo Lingo or Reading Eggs which I don't mind as it's educational. At the weekend we are a lot more relaxed - he is usually out on playdates, at the park, on his bike or on a day out with us for a lot of the weekend, so when we're at home we're not all that restrictive about TV or the Switch. He's a bright boy, loves reading to himself in bed, gets plenty of exercise and is sociable, so I'm not at all concerned about his screen time.

I’ve had success with adding things into his life rather than using screen time as a punishment or reward. So basically a lot of what I’m adding in involves me giving my attention too. I am definitely pro screen time - I use a shit ton of it to unwind myself - but it’s definitely detrimental sometimes to their mindset and listening and it can be a bit lonely.

So sometimes even watching something together yields as a happier child. Adding in things like - reading (DS is allowed pretty much unlimited books from Amazon), board games, playing in garden, more play dates, cooking etc. It’s exhausting though, but then at least you’ve done stuff together and then screen time isn’t so guilt-inducing so don’t feel so bad popping the TV on AFTER another activity. We have 100% banned YouTube (watching gamers) because that was horrific for his attitude. At least with consoles he’s actually using his brain (minecraft, animal crossing etc).

He has to be dressed and fed before he can have screens in the morning. He’s 7.

Little bro who’s 4 is a bit more of an addict with it (YouTube kids, absolute cesspool but I have a newborn and am mentally weak at the mo!). Really need to tackle that next! His attitude is not a problem yet though.

Our 7 year old has no limits on screen time because he's a hard worker at school, doing well in all his subjects and is a lovely kind happy boy so we don't see anything wrong with him choosing how he wants to spend his down time.

My oldest is able to self regulate and is fine. My youngest can't self regulate at all ... I think he was addicted. First thing he asked for in the mornings etc. We stopped screens altogether earlier this year and his behaviour has been so much better. Family life in general has been more peaceful. I think it only takes a week or so and then they stop asking and find other ways to entertain themselves.

9yr old has restrictions on tablet time but less so on tv. We are not popular for the tablet restrictions and parental control but it’s for their own good really and we try to encourage balance.

DS1 is 8 and tbh I don't keep track of how much TV he watches. He is at school all day, does 5 after school clubs and on nice days like today he plays in the playground that is literally outside ours with his friends. He is a very active child who does his guitar practice and homework so if he then wants to relax in front on the TV then he is welcome to do so.

DS2 is 4 and is a little more for the TV but again he goes to nursery every afternoon, will often play in the playground after nursery and attends 3 morning playgroups a week so it all balances out I figure.

Both ds's a lot. They liked tv, it suited me when they were toddlers for them to watch it as I was prepping dinner etc. Then they've had x box. Hours and hours of fun. All day sometimes. They also play sports and meet with friends. None of it has ever been an issue.

I don't really monitor screen-time for my DC. I take the approach of adding things into his day - getting out of the house, activities, crafts, building things or just more playing with toys or in the garden - if I think he's getting too much screen time or he's becoming fixated on it. But he doesn't find it particularly addictive, he prefers doing active things and socialising and it doesn't seem to affect his behaviour. If I had a child who made a fuss when screens were turned off or who preferred it to other things, I would take a different approach.

We have no tv in the morning, no iPads or phones but after he’s home from childcare he can watch til dinner. That’s sometimes 15 minutes and sometimes 1.5 hours.

on weekends I try not to let him watch in the morning because it makes him so grumpy but DP isn’t really on board so we’re not consistent with that. We have nicer weekends when he doesn’t watch tv in the morning.

id say he watches 1-2 hours (sometimes more) at the weekend. I find after about 1hr he starts to play and stops watching so I don’t mind.