Be honest about DC screentime

[springhassprung22]

I have two DC, 7 and 3. The youngest doesn't sit and watch TV for long so isn't a problem.

My eldest, lately, seems to be developing an addiction to TV. He doesn't have it in the morning before school, and our mornings are definitely easier as a result. After school he is allowed to watch it to unwind, especially as I WFH so if I collect him, I am then working for an hour or so (younger DC is in nursery). He does after school activities on two weekdays so it's limited to about 45 minutes maximum on those days but on the other days he can have up to 1.5 hours, maybe even 2 at a push.

His listening has gone really downhill recently so I've implemented a TV reward chart, a basic amount of 30 minutes TV a day, and the opportunity to win or lose some depending on listening. Yesterday he had won extra so had 50 minutes, but on Monday he'd lost it all so had none.

On Monday he whined and whined without it but after a while went off to play happily with his sibling. He managed to win 10 minutes which he watched before bed.

Yesterday after the 50 minutes, he turns it off with little fuss, but then asks to watch more and more later: "just a little bit pleeeeeeasseee". It's like an addiction at the moment in a way it didn't used to be!

I think it might be the stuff he watches (strictly no Youtube but has free reign of Kids' Netflix/Prime etc so watches rubbish cartoons a lot) so I'm torn whether to try an all out ban, or maybe limit to less trashy stuff eg CBBC.

In reality how much do your kids have? And does it impact behaviour? The only other screen my DS has is a Kindle Fire tablet which he's allowed to play on the weekends, it's only ever about 30-40 minutes a day though. He mostly plays Sonic on that.

Unlimited except it goes off an hour before bedtime. We make a point of it being the boring option, it's never used as a reward. DC10 watches art techniques, baking shows, horrible histories etc. My younger one watches more imaginative story series and then spends hours acting them out and playing imaginary games, sometimes with the video playing in the background, sometimes off. Most of the time they're out of the house so I'm not at all bothered about them watching their favourite things when they get home. They regularly get bored with it and choose to do other things.

Like a pp we instigated tech free days. I find it way easier to say ‘we don’t watch Tv on Monday or Tuesday’ and they accept it better. It’s actually my 3yo who’s the worst! DD8 will barely ever watch, the DS6 loves it but is also fine with being told no but DS3 asks and asks unless it’s very clear cut.

As for timing on the other days - the boys watch about an hour on a Weds & Thurs, we usually watch a film together on a Friday night, and then they rarely have it at the weekend but I don’t mind them watching another film on one of the weekend days. No tablets or any other devices.

Generally I’d say having certain no TV days work well if you are worried. The amount he gets doesn’t sound at all extreme though!

My 4DC are allowed 30 mins screen time in a Wednesday, Saturday and a Sunday. This includes switch time, they decide if it is tv or games.

However, we are often out on a weekend and don't have time on a Wednesday, (not in the UK, no school on Wednesday afternoons) so it's actually rare that they have it.

We do sometimes have a family film night on a Saturday, maybe once every 4/6 weeks?

They definitely have their maximum screen time on rainy weekends, but thankfully we don't have many of those except November.
I am trying to think the last time the tv was on, and it's been over two weeks?

My DC are 13, 12, 9 & 7.

Also, just wanted to say so that I don't sound saintly... they are all book worms and we are outdoors a lot. Plus as there are four of them, there is a lot of socializing.
They also don't have screens at school, as the school is a non screen school. (I work in the school).
The DC are just not used to it.

What’s the point of 30 minutes TV time three times a week for a thirteen year old? It would take them a week to watch an episode of Stranger Things.

One hour Nintendo per day. Less if naughty, more if they earn it or eg in an airport.

Tv as much as they want. There's only one by in playroom they share. They play together, watch tv, play in garden, go to their rooms to play etc. so they watch it on and off. I just turn it off if they're not listening. If I think they've watched too much I turn it off and send them off to play.

They don't have phones or iPads.

They are 11 and 9.

I don't think it affects their behaviour at all.

The rule is 30 minutes a day in the week, in reality screw the rules I need to maintain my sanity.

No limits here. They watch a lot of tv and a little tablet. They often play with lego or something while the tv is on.
They do however often spend hours playing together with no screens in sight so it varies. I have decided not to limit screens other than at bedtime. For some children limiting it means they watch all they can because they know it will get taken away. If they know they can have it whenever they want (within reason) then they may be more happy to put it down and walk away. We do watch more than other families but some of it is educational and my children sometimes use it as a way to regulate (as do I each evening!). It's not an argument I want to have if I can't see real harm.

We have a "no games before school" rule but other than that I don't set limits for DS10. Now that he doesn't go on Fortnite with his friends he can self-regulate better and will often just have YouTube on for background noise while he plays. I have parental restrictions set up on YouTube and on his Switch, though. He's happy to spend time away from tech and go out to the park or anywhere really and he certainly doesn't struggle academically because of our lack of time limits.

One episode of something when getting dressed so maybe 10-15 mins in morning. Then 2 hours ipad / gaming after school. On Tuesday it's swimming night so only 1 hour.

The younger one sometimes has 30 mins to 1 hour in the morning, but I'm finding she doesn't need it now she's older. There was a period where she gave up napping, but was hysterical with tiredness and even reading books didn't help. So I'd put on one of the Julia Donaldson 30 minute movies like The Gruffalo.

At the weekend no morning Tv, as I insist on playing or audiobooks ( Tonies) !!! Then we do clubs, but probably 2 sessions of iPad so total 3 hours unless out for the day. But then if it's a long car drive to family I may have songs on or iPad one direction.

But so many friends have what appear strict rules and when you unpick they aren't. Things like no gaming before 9am but they at watching YouTube for 3 hours before that then gaming from 9am.

Or a friend saying her now teenager never has had a games console. But I remember her buying him a gaming computer ( like that's different !) I said I thought he played Robolux a bit and she oh yes he still does he loves it even now

No restrictions here. Teen occasionally moans when told to come off gaming.
4yr old comes off when asked. I do normally say 5 minutes then off. That's for switch or tablet
2yr old if we're home and finished playing together and im getting on with choresor wfh (in same room lots can be done on mobile) has the tv on and flits between watching 5.min then play. To maybe an hr tv then play.
They never have an issue with turning it off or not having it on in the first place

Thanks for all the replies.

Thanks to the posters who said using it as a reward might not be a good idea - never would’ve noticed that on my own but you’re right, he’s put it on a pedestal more since. Although I chose tv as the reward/punishment as he was so into it lately.

In terms of not listening, yes I mean not listening to me and DH (although he’s not a 100% listener in school either) - we always have to ask him so many times to do anything. Get dressed, shoes on etc. His attitude is up and down and at the moment it can be really cheeky, saying “no way” when asked to do something and occasionally “I don’t care” when told off so bringing in a reward chart was quite a big deal - haven’t used one for this DC in about 3 years!

I do want to be careful about being too strict as my own DM was VERY strict about TV, and none of my friends’ parents were so I felt the odd one out. I think we might start to limit content rather than amount on his non club nights. Weekends we also have it on more, in the morning especially. Both my DC will play nicely, it’s more the asking for the TV to begin with.

Any suggestions on content? DS likes educational stuff, under the sea/nature etc. I think we might try DH’s suggestion of a Netflix / Prime ban so his only options are the iPlayer app and Disney.

Just to add academically my DS is doing fine - as mentioned his listening in school isn’t always the best but he isn’t naughty and is ahead on reading, writing and maths are fine. He reads well, enjoys reading, will sit and flip through books, comics etc. He also loves playgrounds, swimming, bikes, trampoline,
lots of outdoor activities.

But he loves TV. If he was given the straight out choice of something versus Tv, he would choose tv. I think part of it is the fact that he gets free reign over the remote, on the kids apps.

No real limits here. Sometimes she has hours and other days absolutely no ipad at all.
DD (4) is very very active and given the choice she'd rather be at the park playing with friends than any screen time.

My son is obsessed with the ocean/under the sea too. His idea of a good conversation is naming types of sharks and telling people killer whales aren’t whales. There are tons of kids documentaries if you have sky? Even many of the adult ones are okay for kids too.

No devices in the morning, we watch tv together instead.devices allowed from 6.30-8pm and they usually max that out unless they can be persuaded outside. Ds 11 plays games online with his schoolfriends (they talk on zoom whilst playing) and dd 7 mostly watches YouTube kids. I have to say her vocab is excellent and she learns a lot from YouTube although she also watches a lot of crap. Not dissimilar to the 1980s when I watched kids tv.

My view with kids, for what it's worth, is that you put some rules around things and stick to them, but also teach them that they can make choices around how they apply those rules (eg just because you can have your device at 6.30pm doesn't mean you have to choose to do so).

No rules at weekends although they both have lost of sports, drama etc activities so plenty of device free time.

Don't know what Stranger things is? I also don't want much TV. We just aren't bothered about it.

You’ve never heard of the television show stranger things, the most streamed show in the world at the moment? Nobody has ever mentioned it to you and you’ve never heard of it before? You couldn’t understand contextually from my post saying ‘an episode of stranger things’ that it was a television programme? Then, when you had never heard of it and couldn’t comprehend from my post that it was a TV programme, you were incapable of Googling it to discover what it was?

Or you’re just desperate show how little you watch TV in the same smug vein as ‘my kids have never heard of Coca Cola!’

DC aged 11 had covid a couple of weeks ago. After 2 days spent puking he was better but still at home and rather tired, while DH and I worked (at home!). DH showed me his screen time report, and he’d spent 12 to14 hours a day on his PC for 3 days running…oops

Do I win?

@Kanaloa
Given that a) I don't live in the UK and b) as previously stated we are not interested....

But you carry on with your narrative. I'm off to read my book.

Of course you are. Presumably even not living in the UK if you have any level of reading comprehension you could have worked out from the context that if I’m mentioning ‘an episode’ of something it’s probably a TV show?

No need to be so unkind Kanaloa!

I’m not being unkind 😂 just used to the weird smugness on mumsnet over never having heard of things almost everyone in the world has heard of. It’s silly. Either way most adults wouldn’t need to say ‘I’ve never heard of that’ because they could either understand contextually what it was or could look it up. There’s a weird snobbery on this site about not watching TV.

Although thank you for being the mumsnet kindness police.