Be honest about DC screentime

[springhassprung22]

I have two DC, 7 and 3. The youngest doesn't sit and watch TV for long so isn't a problem.

My eldest, lately, seems to be developing an addiction to TV. He doesn't have it in the morning before school, and our mornings are definitely easier as a result. After school he is allowed to watch it to unwind, especially as I WFH so if I collect him, I am then working for an hour or so (younger DC is in nursery). He does after school activities on two weekdays so it's limited to about 45 minutes maximum on those days but on the other days he can have up to 1.5 hours, maybe even 2 at a push.

His listening has gone really downhill recently so I've implemented a TV reward chart, a basic amount of 30 minutes TV a day, and the opportunity to win or lose some depending on listening. Yesterday he had won extra so had 50 minutes, but on Monday he'd lost it all so had none.

On Monday he whined and whined without it but after a while went off to play happily with his sibling. He managed to win 10 minutes which he watched before bed.

Yesterday after the 50 minutes, he turns it off with little fuss, but then asks to watch more and more later: "just a little bit pleeeeeeasseee". It's like an addiction at the moment in a way it didn't used to be!

I think it might be the stuff he watches (strictly no Youtube but has free reign of Kids' Netflix/Prime etc so watches rubbish cartoons a lot) so I'm torn whether to try an all out ban, or maybe limit to less trashy stuff eg CBBC.

In reality how much do your kids have? And does it impact behaviour? The only other screen my DS has is a Kindle Fire tablet which he's allowed to play on the weekends, it's only ever about 30-40 minutes a day though. He mostly plays Sonic on that.

But presumably you did understand it was a television programme from the context, as the sentence mentioned episodes? So why did you feel the need to announce you didn’t know what it was when it was clear it was a TV show? Why did you need people to know you didn’t have a clue what it was?

Jeez @Kanaloa , you must be tons of fun at a party!

I don't know what to tell you beyond, before you mentioned Stranger Things, I had never, ever heard of it. My friends, family and colleagues have never mentioned it to me, I have never seen (or noticed, if you prefer) an advert relating to it... nothing, nada, zilch.

So, when you point out that it would take my DC a considerable amount of time to watch one episode of a show which I never ever heard of, and I reply 'I don't know what that is', I genuinely cannot understand why you find this so incredulous. Despite you saying it's the most streamed program, despite you saying almost everyone has heard of it... I still have no knowledge of it.

I am not virtue signaling, I am not being smug. I simply have never heard of it in any context before and so no, I didn't know what it was. (I have now googled and have seen that it is a Netflix show but I didn't read any additional information because I am simply not interested).

The thread asked for honesty. I gave it, without judgement.

You, however, are being unkind and pedantic.

My almost 5yo watches a bit more than your 7yo. None before school, like you it makes mornings easier.
I also use it for work time after school while younger DC is still at nursery. We have a play date or activity a couple o days a week.
On other days and on weekends if we're at home she's allowed to watch or play on the iPad. I have stopped using it as a reward or taking it away as a punishment as both have made her obsession with it worse, so that may be worth trying

TV massively impacts on behaviour in my experience. Negatively so.
I have 4 kids from 2 to 10. No TV during the week with the exception of an hour on Friday afternoon possibly watching a series they like (different series for my older girls and my younger 2. Usually the 2 yrs doesn't really stick around for it). At the weekend it's family movie time if we can fit it in. It can be once (one day) or both days (rarer) or none if no time. More common is once.
No other TV and I've found their behaviour much better for it (used to allow some TV before school, Sunday morning etc).
No other screen as they don't care for tablets etc. 5yrs old can play Osmo occasionally on the tablet but that's once a fortnight/once a month sort of thing.
Our tablets are otherwise used for movies during long drives (over 2hours).

I have never heard of stranger things either and couldn't be arsed to Google it. You do realise not everyone is interested in TV?

I’m not saying everyone has to be interested in TV. I’m saying a dismissive comment like ‘I don’t know what that is,’ is pointless when the context of my post told you exactly what it is. It’s a TV show. That’s my point. Not that you have to have heard of Stranger Things - that you’re clearly trying to make some sort of big point of ‘oh I don’t even know what that is, I never watch TV.’ But if you had read my post you should have easily been able to comprehend that it was a TV programme. So what do you get out of announcing you don’t know what it is?

That’s what you seem to be missing - that I don’t understand the need for the announcement. If someone said ‘oh I’m just off for a glass of che’ and I’d never heard of it I wouldn’t feel the need to announce ‘I’ve never heard of that.’ I’d be able to use my reading comprehension to think ‘well they’re having a glass. It must be a drink.’

I’ve never really put timescales on leisure activities. I will make them stop playing games if they’re getting frustrated - as I always say to them, games are meant to be fun! If we’re away from home they’re quite happy playing board games and stuff like that together (I have three, older than yours). It was only ever tablets that seemed to change their behaviour so I took them away.

Mine are much better at doing other stuff since we moved to a house with a garden and they can go out there.