Pang of sadness about going to the supermarket alone

[Bakewelltartwithoutacherry]

My Dd is 4 and due to start school in September. I’ve been at home with her since birth and although it’s been one of the hardest times of my life at points, it’s also been the happiest.
I had Dd late due to infertility. Before that I worked full time, some weekends, busy social life with friends and travel.
Life has changed so much since then, I’ve enjoyed being at home and having playmates with mum friends etc.
When Dd goes to school, I’ll work from home a couple of hours per night.
As ridiculous as it sounds, I felt upset earlier about doing the supermarket shop alone, without Dd sat in the trolley and our little lunches out and playground meets afterwards.

I probably sound really pathetic, but come September, what then 🤷🏻‍♀️
Finding it hard to face this new phase of my life, feels so empty

Anyone else had this?

*Play dates

Try to reframe it as being happy for her to have secure roots and she’s going to start to grow as her own person separate from you but rooted in you and your love.

think of what you are going to do to grow you as a separate person too - and when you get back together life is richer for you both.

I've felt like that a little bit with DS starting school this year, but it's replaced with other fun stuff like taking them to the park or the duck pond after school, doing homework (ok that's not so fun) sports days, parties, lots of reading practice ...life is still as full as ever just with slightly different stuff.

Plus you save a fortune when you're shopping and they aren't firing random stuff into the trolley or begging you for magazines and things

I’m in a similar boat OP, although I have 3 children my youngest is due to start school this year too and whilst I’m happy to get some time back to myself again (I work 3 days so will have 2 completely empty days) I am also gutted about not having kids at home any more. It feels like a complete new chapter in my life which I’m not quite ready for! I got involved with the PTA for the school which is a nice way of feeling involved and meeting other parents. You might also find you enjoy this new time of after school play dates, birthday parties, and school runs. That 6 hours goes so fast and they have 12 weeks off in a year so the time together becomes more special. See it as an exciting time for your daughter as she grows and makes new friends. It’s so rewarding watching them learn 💐

I know exactly how you feel. I clearly remember ds starting school and i went to asda and actually felt bereft he wasnt there. I pined for him. Dh couldn't believe it, he said id been looking forward to some peace for years and now i had it i didnt want it. 😃

I sort if get that. When my youngest started school it felt really weird to eat on my own as I had had a lunch companion (or 2) for 7 years. I had to put the TV on while I ate lunch because it was too quiet.
After a while I liked the time to get things done at home, and then I went back to work for longer hours, and volunteered at toddler group.

I felt like that when dd2 was starting school. We used to hang out together, do ladies who lunch etc. You do get used to it though. Enjoy your time between now and September x

Just wait till she leaves home

My daughter got through school, college and uni, I remember baby days fondly, but now am enjoying the freedom! Every step is different for everyone and you'll adjust accordingly, look after yourself x

Can you switch it around, and just be thankful for the time you have had together, to do all of those things? You will still have weekends, and school holidays. It's all lots more than if you had never managed to have kids. Be thankful for what you have, and celebrate that.

True

Yes! My dd started reception last year and I still feel weird going out alone to places.

It only gets better.

You’re losing something familiar, but will gain something new. It’ll be the same, but different.

I feel very grateful for the time we’ve had and know how much she’ll benefit.

It’s heightened a little by being the only time I’ll ever have doing it, I can’t have any more and it just passed so quickly!

I think it’s natural but you want to think about the new phase. If you are only working a couple hours a night, what are you doing all day? Think about what you’d like to build up.

You're not alone OP.

My son starts school in September and like you I've also been at home with him the whole time.

I also have those little moments where I think "I'm going to miss these little trips".

I'm excited for him starting school but I'm also a bit sad as we move into this next chapter x

*Any more kids

Totally natural, it is sad when they move to each new stage. Take a little time to mourn the change and pretty quickly your mind will turn to thinking about how you will make the most of the next phase.

One of the loveliest things is them rushing out to meet you when school ends, I loved that

It's really lovely that you feel like that though. My children are both wonderful, of course, but very hard work. My youngest starts in september and I'm so excited to have time for myself, but I feel a bit guilty about it.

School is a whole different load of loveliness though, new parent friends, sports days, cake sales, school plays, bringing home their little craft projects etc

Oh, OP. You sound like a lovely mum, completely understandable to be sad and feel like you're going to miss your little buddy ❤️

In the height of post-partum madness, I burst into tears in the bath thinking about my baby having to start school. She was two weeks old 😂🤦‍♀️

My DS goes to school this year. We have every Monday together and I am so sad that this is coming to an end. He's my youngest DC so this definitely feels like the end of a chapter. Going to really miss my little buddy.

I felt this way too. So sad.
You get used to it quite quickly though.
But yes I do look back on those pre-school days fondly and I would still say I miss them.
I feel like you, it was incredibly hard at points but I also had the best time and I'll never forget it

I was the same, I still am and she’s a bit older. I didn’t want her to go to school after the half term break, I miss her all the time shes at school and can’t wait til school pick up. I know I have a problem but I can’t help it.

I remember when no3 started school
i sat on my back doorstep,rang my dad and just howled down the phone at him
poor bloke-he’s not one for emotions!

I went on to have 3 more kids and when no6 started nursery,I burst into tears in the middle of asda
my baby/buddy was grown up and gone off into the big bad world (for 2 days a week)
all the tantrums and stubbornness was forgiven but I adjusted and she’s now 15-I’ve loved (and hated at times) all the stages in their lives but it’s the first step of them growing up

What job are you working at night? Can you do it in the dya instead so vyou have some structure?