Pang of sadness about going to the supermarket alone

[Bakewelltartwithoutacherry]

My Dd is 4 and due to start school in September. I’ve been at home with her since birth and although it’s been one of the hardest times of my life at points, it’s also been the happiest.
I had Dd late due to infertility. Before that I worked full time, some weekends, busy social life with friends and travel.
Life has changed so much since then, I’ve enjoyed being at home and having playmates with mum friends etc.
When Dd goes to school, I’ll work from home a couple of hours per night.
As ridiculous as it sounds, I felt upset earlier about doing the supermarket shop alone, without Dd sat in the trolley and our little lunches out and playground meets afterwards.

I probably sound really pathetic, but come September, what then 🤷🏻‍♀️
Finding it hard to face this new phase of my life, feels so empty

Anyone else had this?

This also reminds me of something someone said when I said I would miss spending the day with my son. They said 'you'll just have to find something else to do'. I found it quite rude, it's not like I have nothing to do. It's that I'll miss having a companion while I'm doing it! The supermarket, the post office, walking through the park, laundry, writing letters, cleaning, meeting friends and family for lunch. All those things I did with my son, now I do most of them on my own, you do (or at least I do) miss that chit chat and companionship of it.

I do get where you are coming from, when we moved to Australia I assumed DD (my youngest) would have to start school as she would have in England but to my surprise the school asked if I would like a 2 day a week pre-school place (the 3 day class was full) or if I wanted her to start kindy. I took pre-school and had the most wonderful year with her doing fun stuff before she started school. She has just started Uni and we can do fun daytime things again 😊

When dd starts school you will start making new memories. The joy of those early morning walks together, seeing her skipping off excitedly, making friends.. Don't let your sadness cloud your enjoyment of those new things.

I used to weep buckets if Abba's 'Slipping Through Your Fingers' came on the radio (giving away my age!) It's such a universal feeling.

But this week I've been walking my dgc to school. Those walks are a lively, ever-changing mix of wanting to hold my hand and chat about their worries; playing imaginary games with each other; running ahead and waiting for 'old granny' to catch up. It conjures up all those lovely memories of doing the same with my own children especially when it's warm and the sun is shining, and they're skipping on their skinny little legs, not so much when it's cold, windy and pissing with rain

Can you create a whole new series of little rituals for the two of you? - hot chocolate ready for when you arrive home in the winter, a visit to the library on the way home sometimes...

Gosh, I spent yesterday panicking when I realised quite how blooming long the summer holidays were going to be. DS is just about to finish reception, and before school he was 4 days a week in a preschool that didn’t have a summer holiday, so this is my and DH’s first experience of the hell of working out how to cover a summer holiday. You’re very lucky OP that that will be something you are going to look forward to!

I’m a bit confused why her starting school means you’ll be working some evenings? Presumably it’s after she goes to bed, so why could you not do that before she went to school? Also, what will you be doing all day?

I’d focus on positives. You still have 13 weeks of hols together and weekends. You’ll have fun together and if she does activities like dancing or rainbows you can probably get involved with that. Also worth thinking about doing something for you - exercise, studying etc.

Oh and you can still go to the shops together after school, it finishes halfway through the afternoon!

I’ve loved each new stage as much if not more than the last. Although I didn’t have the supermarket experience you have had as I have twins and one used to bite the other when sat together in a trolley so I moved to online shopping fairly swiftly. I have (mostly) fond memories of pre school but you have so much fun coming your way.

My youngest 2 finish primary this year and it feels a bit strange but I’m ready. Dd1 is 14 and about to start GCSEs and she’s so lovely to be around, I love seeing her grow into a young woman and supporting her to make independent choices. I feel more bonded to her now than when she was 3.

Be kind to yourself. Lots of mums cried first day of primary so you’re not alone. Dh and I practically skipped out the school gates but we seemed to be in the minority (then I felt like a terrible parent).

I am at a completely different time of life that you with 5 sons in young adulthood or close to it. Grocery shopping is always very difficult for me when they leave for college or when one recently moved for a job. I have other difficult times but the grocery store is always a trigger for the tears. Hugs to you.

Thank you so much WinterCarlisle!
I think I am reading these lovely posts only to torture myself. I really wish I was like yourself or most of people posting here.
I have three kids. My eldest DD just turned 13 She has good and also difficult days, but I did too when I was her age, I find it so rewarding to be able to guide them at this stage. She likes to listen to the stories when I was her age and had similar issues with other girls at school. I love watching movies, going for walks with her when she tells me most of her stuff. Really loving this stage. Best of luck with your DD too. x

Thanks everyone, reading through the replies and getting upset-it’s ridiculous! It’s not even as if it’s all been plain sailing, it’s been hard 🙈but I just know how much I’ll want those years back and I’ll never have that again.
I work a couple of hours in the evening now but will do that in the day…but what else 🤷🏻‍♀️
From school to college to uni to full time work for 18 odd years, then 24/7 with Dd…now what?
That’s also part of it, wondering what my identity is now

@spanishmumireland Ahh don’t feel sad, believe me, I’ve found so many aspects hard, Dd isn’t the easiest, lovely but a lot! There are days I’ve longed for just one second to myself, I know that deep down I need that, I just feel so emotional about it.

I felt the same when my youngest DS started reception. I missed him so much. He’s now in Year 2, and I still feel wistful about his nursery days where he finished at dinner time and we had the afternoon together. I used to love picking him up with DD as a baby in her pram and we’d have a little walk home.
My DD just missed the year above (she turns 4 in September), so the thought that I have another year with her before she starts reception is very comforting. She too finishes at dinner time and we have those few hours together which I love.

My eldest DS is about to leave primary school, so that’s really hard for me to come to terms with. He’s been there since he started nursery back in 2014, and then his siblings joined too. It won’t feel right that he won’t be there with them anymore come September. That might sound silly and I’m sure I will get used to it as life moves on, but I’m so sad about it.

I felt the same, and tbh I’m tearing up a bit now. There are good times coming, but there’s something very special about those early years when you’re with them all the time.

sorry, that’s not helping

Totally get this. 3 DC aged 6-8. I felt like this when they started school

Recently they have stopped wanting to go shopping/running messages with me. They refer being at home outside playing or helping their Dad. I miss my little shadows and find it it very strange and feel quite sad about it sometimes. I also work FT so I feel like time together is very limited.

inever thought I’d miss the load/ unloading them from car and noise but I do.