How can she start school like this

[Butwhendoesitgeteasier]

Dd is 4 in July and due to start school.
She’s so headstrong and hard to control. She’s a sweet and bright girl but doesn’t do anything she doesn’t want to do, she also can’t stay focused for long and wants to be off playing.
I realise a lot of it is her age, but I just can’t see her sitting down in Reception and completing tasks. I made some activities today and she lasted around 10 minutes before wanting to stop, it’s the same with painting etc

Feeling worried for her, I don’t want her to spend her days getting into trouble with the teacher.
I don’t know where I’m going wrong

What on earth are you on about?

Legally children need to be in school the term after they turn five. OP's child could skip reception entirely if desired.

But the legal position is very different to 'how it's done'. It is incredibly uncommon not to start school in September, regardless of age. Most parents are relieved not to have to pay for childcare any more.

I know literally hundreds of school children. I only know of one deferred entry (and this was because of administrative error more than parental desire).

I actually think ten minutes focused on an activity is good for a 4 year old. When I’ve worked in early years and reception most activities are continuous provision. They aren’t expected to sit studying all day! It’s mainly play based learning.

Also you’ll be surprised by what a jump there is between starting reception and year 1. There’s a big change/a lot of development you’ll see in that time.

She's not talking rubbish. If a child joins school in line with the legal requirement then they would start the term after their fifth birthday. For children born Easter to August this means they start in Y1.

Being able to defer entry and start a year later in Reception is actually a far more recent possibility. It's obviously advantageous because your child doesn't miss that important early years provision but your child will go through school an academic year older than their peers.

I don't know anyone who started reception a year later - this is an expensive choice for many. I do know of one child who started school at Easter.

My dd is like this and also starting in September. My ds was very quiet and shy and started school during the pandemic so I was worried about him too. I would say reception teachers/tas are amazing and are familiar with all sorts of behaviour and developmental stage. There are certainly all sorts in my ds' class and all seem to have flourished.

I know it doesn’t seem like it but she will be fine.
Are you aware that school is non compulsory until the term after they turn 5?
I will be sending my summer born to school for mornings only until she is ready for a full day.

No they don't. Not unless you ask for a deferred place. Which are discretionary.

Has school agreed to this? Often they won't make provision like this although it very much depends on the school of course.

This

DC tend to give us the warts and all version at home; in more formal settings they tend to copy their peers and will quickly learn which behaviours will please the teacher.

Sadly they don’t care about pleasing us because they know deep down we love them unconditionally 😂

My DD is “perfect” according to the teachers but can be a devil at home.

If you mean you’ll keep your child in mornings only for a week or two most schools do a staggered induction, ours didn’t do full days until nearly four weeks in.
if you’re intending to do this for longer you may be doing your child a disservice, the afternoons at my child’s school are all the enrichment type activities, gardening, pottery, music, singing, free play outdoors etc. They finish lunch at about 1:15, do a register and a quick class activity like a play dough workout to help hand strength, have about an hour of whatever that afternoons thing is, then they’re tidying up and having a story before they come home at 3:00.

The LA is only obliged to provide a school place for your child within the correct year. If you want to defer your summer baby to start in reception a year late and there was a massive baby boom that year, you'd be screwed. No place and no obligation to find you one 🤷‍♀️

She sounds like a normal 4 year old, i have three children and work in a school so I speak from experience! They won't expect them to sit for longer than 10 minutes anyway. They learn through play in reception. Very little time sitting still really. As others have said, she will follow her peers as well.
I would say maybe have a think about putting her in nursery for a couple of mornings though. It will make her transition to school easier as she will then have a bit of experience of being used to being away from you, listening to instructions and interacting with children without the comfort of having family close by. But i am probably coming at it from my own perspective where all my children were like velcro to me at nursery so this was essential to helping them get used to separating from me.
Im sure she will do absolutely brilliantly at school and you will have been worrying for nothing.

When I ask my daughter of a similar age what she has been doing at school she almost invariably says "playing". I expect it will be a bit of a bump to start with, but I think the staff are typically understanding with little ones.

Have you looked round the reception classrooms? Ours have no desks at all, rather stations set up for learning through play. It's very similar to nursery/preschool.

Your dd sounds totally normal, don't defer her unless you've spoken to the school. Ours only recommends deferral if significantly delayed and/or SEN, and I say this as a summer born myself.

You don't need to "train" her to sit still for any period of time, as long as she is toilet trained, can recognise her name and put her shoes on she'll be fine.

I agree with the suggestion of a few mornings at nursery / preschool though so she gets used to being away from you

It's such a long day for the littlies. I regularly spot sleeping children in the corner of reception classes, especially in that first term 😄

I started my August born boy a year later for this exact reason. He went in to Reception at 5 and it was absolutely the right decision for him.

You will have a lot of people tell you she will cope, and Reception is play based while this may be true you know your child better than anyone. Learning gets much more formal in Y1, I think the more important thing to think about is whether your daughter will cope with Y1 better at 5 or 6 years old.

Bro chill out shes only young

Step up from mine who just says 'nothing' 😄

I did read that asking a four year old what they did that day is like asking an adult what they did in March. Like it's a loooooong time ago.

She sounds perfectly normal to me OP, I have a summer born (July) no issues.
Deferring a year can have disadvantages as they get older such as admissions to senior schools where they could insist they start in year 8 rather than year 7

I wouldn't consider going from just being at home all the time with you to year 1. Reception is an easy step into schooling, and little different to preschool. Towards the end of reception they do start working on how to behave in school. Expecting a child to go from nothing to year 1 seems risking misery.

Deferring a place to start reception at 5 would be better, but OP your child sounds fine to cope with reception now and a deferred place isn't always an option.

Share your concerns with the teacher but honestly she sounds like a very normal child.

All of their learning will be through play and they will not be expected to sit still for longer than 10mins.

She will find it easier to sit still and focused in school then home anyway as they’ll all be doing it as a group.

Did you know you can send her as part time as you like until the term after their 5th birthday? Maybe you could start off with 3 mornings if you're worried?
Reception is part of the EYFS and a lot like nursery - they follow the same curriculum. She sounds very much like where her peers would be.
Whilst you can defer - it may be straight into year 1 dependent on head. Most will allow reception for mid july onwards babies. Otherwise they'd have children nearly a year and a half older! Secondary schools may insist she goes into Year 8 from primary. For some sports and probably other activities she'll need to join her original cohort. I think it makes more sense to just send part time for reception.

I've been a childcare professional for over 40yrs now. Your child sounds like a perfectly normal 4 yr old. She will be fine.

And I have to echo what a pp said, our children are not the children we know and think they are when we aren't there.

if you've never given birth to one of the 'Prince-Louis' of the world, you don't know. 4yr olds are pretty similar the world over. You can't give birth to 'a prince louis' because he, like every other child is unique. If you mean that some children are more boisterous than others then yes that is correct, but it's still pretty average behaviour for a great many 4yr olds.